Dyspathy

Failed software salesman/convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick burned another personal day to appear in court this morning. He’s wearing a dress shirt monogrammed “Mayor.” Poor guy can’t afford new shirts what with Judge Groner and the abominable Kym Worthy always trying to get his monies. Also, he blew his shirt budget at Chic-fil-a.

To show we harbor no hard feelings for his criminal actions (that destroyed the careers of three police officers and cost Detroiters millions of dollars), we ordered him some new shirts with an up-to-date monogram. Hopefully the big guy can squeeze into a 20-36 tall. It’s the largest size Jos. A Bank offers. (Freep)

Tags: Convicted Felon Kwame Kilpatrick, douchebags

Entire state needs Robert “Bob” Bobb
The ongoing effort to make Michigan economically competitive with Costa Rica and Haiti is bankrupting our schools. According to awful radio host/worse columnist Paul W. Smith, that’s because evil Barack HUSSEIN Obama won’t give Michigan a giant bag of federal (socialist?) money. Or, maybe, our culture values boats in the driveways of our vinyl-sided ranch houses more than education, or even intellectual curiosity. Either way, something like half of the state’s districts will need a Robert Bobb before it’s all over. Last time the suburbs had Call ‘Em Out-type groups, someone firebombed school buses. Just sayin’… (DetNews) Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Convicted Felon Kwame Kilpatrick, half-baked leftists, Michigan Citizen, Mike Cox, Monica Conyers, Paul W. Smith, Richard Convertino, Rochelle Riley, Sam Riddle, schools, state constitution, Tamara Greene

Aged propagandist Diane Bukowski spent an evening hanging with other irrelevant gray hairs. They decided to just organize a putsch and take over the Coleman Young Building. To be fair, they aren’t crazed lunatics. Call ‘Em Out actively discourages flying airplanes into the mid-century modern municipal office building. REPEAT: Do NOT fly planes into buildings. So, you know, restraint. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Agnes Hitchcock, Call 'Em Out, Dave Bing, Diane Bukowski, Joann Watson, Robert Bobb, Tom Barrow

Tags: Jay Kordich

Comically strident DUI lawyer Daniel Hajji produced a legal brief so ridiculous that one might mistake it for the literary stylings of Otis Mathis. There’s a method to Hajji’s incoherent madness. His woefully inappropriate arguments convinced the Michigan Appeals Court to delay convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s probation hearing, just in case there was some actual reason (unbeknownst to Hajji) to overturn Groner’s ruling. They threw away Hajji’s scribblings and figured out the case on their own. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Convicted Felon Kwame Kilpatrick, Daniel Hajji

Our crack social networking team finally set up a Dyspathy fan page on that Facebook machine. It’s pretty exciting. We’re working backwards through the social media doohickeys. As some of you may know, we’ve been twat-feeding posts on the Twitter for some time. Now we’ve got the Facebook machine running. Maybe sometime next month, we’ll launch our own MySpace glitter page. We’ll have a Friendster presence by 2011. Too bad AOL@hometown shut down.

If you feel so inclined, become a Dyspathy fan on the Facebook machine and then we can feel loved. To fan us, just click on the multiple links in this post or the Facebook machine logo button on the sidebar. And tell your friends. If you invite Sam Riddle to become a Dyspathy fan on the Facebook and he does, we’ll donate $5 in your name to Riddle’s legal defense fund. Also Carey Torrice. We totally want her to be our fan. God knows, we’re fans of Carey Torrice. (Facebook)

Tags: Dyspathy, facebook

The beatification of the most holy and sacred Karl Kado
Local grafting artist Karl Kado received probation for his horribly corrupt (and lucrative) enterprises. That’s ok because Kado is cooperating with the Feds. He’s helped them convict two corrupt Cobo directors. Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick and Bernard “The Killer” Kilpatrick are also probably fucked. It may surprise some to learn that Karl Kado isn’t just another corrupt flannel suit but also the most beautiful and holy man ever. Father Russ Kohler sang his praises in court. The family Kado gnashed teeth over his tragic fate. The Judge almost called the Pope to demand Kado’s sainthood. Witnesses say Jesus weeping quietly in the corner for this penitent man of God. (Freep) Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Baghdad, Bernard Kilpatrick, Convicted Felon Kwame Kilpatrick, Dan Kildee, I-94, Karl Kado, M1 rail line, olds, People Mover, Russ Kohler, Sander Levin, UAW, Virg Bernero, Winans

Rarely is the question asked: Is our Otis Mathis learning?
“If you saw Sunday’s Free Press that shown Robert Bobb the emergency financial manager for Detroit Public Schools, move Mark Twain to Boynton which have three times the number seats then students and was one of the reason’s he gave for closing school to many empty seats.” – DPS President Otis Mathis, self-proclaimed role model to the children. Kids, without any standards or expectations, you too can accomplish anything. By anything, we mean that you can get elected to a powerless and unpaid board. However, if you work hard and demand greatness from yourself, you can be like Robert “Bob” Bobb. That is to say, employable. (DetNews) Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: circumcision, convicted felom Kwame Kilpatrick, DPS, H.L. Mencken, Otis Mathis, Pure Michigan, Sparta, toxic waste

Adding some poetic flair to their corruption, Team Kilpatrick put the Blight Court in Karl Kado’s blighted building…for monies. (DetNews) The socialists at the Coast Guard blocked C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun’s precious jewel of a second Ambassador Bridge. And Horace Sheffield wept. (DetNews) GTL aficionado Geoffrey Fieger sues the pictures. (Freep) WXYZ is Steve Wilson’s new fraudulent roofer. Enjoy this mess with a big glass of milk. (Crains) Rick Snyder is Anthony Edwards to Mike Cox’s Ted McGinley in a campaign ad slap fight. (DetNews) As with Sam McCargo, Mike Stefani’s disciplinary hearing is boring. (Freep) Now, talk amongst yourselves…

Tags: Geoffrey Fieger, Karl Kado, Matty Moroun, Mike Cox, Mike Stefani, milk, Rick Snyder, Steve Wilson, Team Kilpatrick, WXYZ

Dan Gilbert says something
Mortgage originator Dan Gilbert is an accomplished person. In college, he ran an illegal bookmaking operation. As the Cleveland Cavaliers’ owner, he illegally removed drinking fountains from Gund Arena. He also secretly lent $60,000 to convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick. Gilbert isn’t satisfied. He wants to do more, like take tax credits to relocate some of his business from existing Livonia office space to existing Detroit office space. Now, he may move even more of his company downtown. Detroit 2.0 redux? Detroit 2.1? Detroit Vista? You know what? When Dan Gilbert actually does something in Detroit, as opposed to daydreaming about building castles on clouds, then we’ll care. (Freep) Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Amtrak, Dan Gilbert, fire trucks, Joe Schwartz, Paul W. Smith, Quicken, Sam McCargo, Sam Riddle, sex