Author Archive

Hi. My name is Jeff. Some of you already know that. Good-bye. I’m retiring Dyspathy to cover metro Detroit full-time at MLive.com. Things will be different at MLive. For the better, I think. My writing style will stay true to Dyspathy’s essential elements: dated pop culture references, sentence fragments, and an gleeful desire to lance the boil of hypocrisy festering on our region’s ample hindquarters.... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (40)

Dan Gilbert isn’t gonna be ignored, Lebron Lebron James wife should probably invest is a reliable shotgun. Wait, is he married? Maverick Carter then. Or maybe Pat Riley. When Dan Gilbert isn’t slap-fighting with ex-employees at a children’s party or writing angry screeds in comic sans, the local king of reverse mortgages is twattering about people being assholes. Not that you should assume he... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (10)

Sometimes I imagine Garfunkel and Oates have a radical homosexual agenda and they let me watch. I actually go back to that image quite often. Over share?  Read More →

Categories : Weekend Filler
Comments (3)

Ingham County Prosecutor’s election must be on the horizon A couple Michigan State basketball players allegedly got a little rapey. At least that’s what the campus police thought. The prosecutor, on the other hand, hates to rush to judgement. Before all the facts are in. Besides, the alleged players are sorry. You know, for this unfortunate misunderstanding. Not only to the alleged victim, but... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (20)

Once in kindergarten I had a schoolyard crush on this girl, so I kicked her in the shins. Most people grow out of that phase, others don’t. That’s all I’m saying. (CNN, The Onion)  Read More →

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (18)

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Your decennial Census cockpunch Some exciting news from our friends at the U.S. Census Bureau…everything is just awful. Not only are we poorer, we are twice as poorer as the rest of the country. People in Sterling Heights are especially poors. Won’t somebody think of the Applebees? There are also a lot more black people in Macomb County. That is to say, St. Clair County can expect a huge influx... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (11)

Oh hell. Let’s just consider the above video sufficient comment on Rochelle’s latest Helen Lovejoy-esque screed. (Freep)  Read More →

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (23)

TV shows may be different than reality So you know all of those police procedurals where they always manage to find some incriminating semen sample all over the evidence? Real life may not actually work that way. While we’re at it, you should probably know that some dumb hillbilly can’t strike oil while shooting up some food with a shotgun. And criminal fugitives wanted by the Army probably can’t... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (9)

Two years ago this November, Democrats booted old John Dingell from his committee chairmanship. Now voters are maybe, not really, thinking about booting Team Dingell from Congress. After all that Debbie Dingell has done for you, this is how you repay her? Thinking about maybe, not really, voting for a non-Dingell? For shame. At the end of the day, this story has more to do with the Shauer-Walberg... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (3)