Archive for State of the State

Dan Gilbert isn’t gonna be ignored, Lebron Lebron James wife should probably invest is a reliable shotgun. Wait, is he married? Maverick Carter then. Or maybe Pat Riley. When Dan Gilbert isn’t slap-fighting with ex-employees at a children’s party or writing angry screeds in comic sans, the local king of reverse mortgages is twattering about people being assholes. Not that you should assume he... Read more→

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Ingham County Prosecutor’s election must be on the horizon A couple Michigan State basketball players allegedly got a little rapey. At least that’s what the campus police thought. The prosecutor, on the other hand, hates to rush to judgement. Before all the facts are in. Besides, the alleged players are sorry. You know, for this unfortunate misunderstanding. Not only to the alleged victim, but... Read more→

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Your decennial Census cockpunch Some exciting news from our friends at the U.S. Census Bureau…everything is just awful. Not only are we poorer, we are twice as poorer as the rest of the country. People in Sterling Heights are especially poors. Won’t somebody think of the Applebees? There are also a lot more black people in Macomb County. That is to say, St. Clair County can expect a huge influx... Read more→

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TV shows may be different than reality So you know all of those police procedurals where they always manage to find some incriminating semen sample all over the evidence? Real life may not actually work that way. While we’re at it, you should probably know that some dumb hillbilly can’t strike oil while shooting up some food with a shotgun. And criminal fugitives wanted by the Army probably can’t... Read more→

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Today we bring you an encore performance from guest blogger week. Sally Subterfuge shares this dispatch from the Real Michigan, where Truck Nutz hang low on gun-racked pickups. Maybe you big city queers can learn a thing or two. – WF The Victorious Warren Tea Party Attracts Results. Also White Supremacists When the Warren Tea Party circulates a petition, it gets results. That is because it is... Read more→

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Have I mentioned the Hour Detroit article about local bloggers, where they called Dyspathy “a Detroit-focused print-version of The Daily Show?” Well, they did. And in that story I disparaged the quality of local punditry. Today’s State of the State is devoted to the chattering class’ worst offenders. – WF Tom Walsh must’ve done something awful, and Dan Gilbert has the pictures Corporations... Read more→

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Today’s State of the State comes from a long-time Dyspathy fan who, because of his affiliation with the Federal Witness Protection Program (which we can neither confirm nor deny), is using the double pseudonym Morningside. – WF GEORGE JACKSON STILL A HORSE’S ASS (ER, HEAD) (ER, ASS) Producers of the hit Showtime series Weeds are fuming this morning after learning of local efforts... Read more→

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Today’s guest blogger, long-time Dyspathy stalwart Downriver’s Friend, literally swam up the Rouge River to deliver this State of the State – WF It all fits like a…well, you know When Bobby Ferguson wasn’t out screwing the taxpayers of Detroit, he was in his office screwing… apparently anyone who walked in. Among the items FBI agents seized when they raided Bobby’s... Read more→

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Today’s guest State of the State comes from long-time commenter “grandcircus.” I assume he wrote it under the watchful eye of Hazen Pingree, who approves of Bob Ufer references. Because Ufer once sold him life insurance. – WF The Olds Have Spoken Horse Cops were required to keep old people angry about vegetables growing in their neighborhoods at bay while the geriatric mayor... Read more→

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Recovering Detroit journalist and all around friend of the program Alan Stamm fills in today as I’m working on other projects. One of those projects, I can now announce, is analysis of the 1969 Roman Gribbs-Richard Austin mayoral race for the Free Press. It follows Jim Holly’s timely essay about Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick. It’s part of a larger series: Remembrances of Candidates Past... Read more→

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