Archive for Political Obituary

UPDATE: Otis Mathis is a giant skeevy perv. The end. It’s the end of an era. Citing unspecified “health concerns,” Otis Mathis resigned as president of the (purely ceremonial) Detroit Board of Education. Otis allegedly “displayed inappropriate behavior” during a DPS meeting, but surely that had no impact on this decision. Naturally, we assume/hope the “inappropriate... Read more→

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He’s going to Jackson but he’s not gonna mess around It’s not every day a bona fide celebrity-type from the big city shows up in sleepy, little Jackson Michigan. Naturally everyone out that way is super excited that convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick will be a Jackson resident for the next 14 to 56 months. They only ask the paparazzi to respect their small town ways. Not being the sort who likes... Read more→

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You know what’s painful? Linking to Fox News. You know what’s even more painful? Linking to bag of dicks Sean Hannity on Fox News. Unfortunately, Roger Ailes’ propaganda shop is always the first on the scene when someone like John Conyers does something stupid. There you go. Conyers can’t even blame this gaffe on his wife, the convicted felon. The second most senior member of the U.S. House... Read more→

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Where were you on October 19, 2009? Future generations will one day ask this question. The Shock, our beloved and storied WNBA franchise, will abandon Detroit Auburn Hills for Tulsa. As in Oklahoma. Just as Brooklyn absorbed the gut punch of the Los Angeles Dodgers and Cleveland had to swallow the Baltimore Ravens winning a Super Bowl, Detroit will suffer the indignity of the Tulsa Shock. Or whatever... Read more→

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Way to flush an historic career for some vulgar little trollop. Time to go, Johnny… Read more→  Read More →

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Poor Martha (Rose) Reeves! After tonight she (and the Vandellas) will have…wait for it…nowhere to run to. With all but ten precincts reporting, the Detroit News says this dumpy old lady who sang pop songs a half century ago barely scrounged up 5000 votes. Just like we predicted, she’s out of the money. Good riddance Martha. Go to Branson and do ten shows a week for the Social Security... Read more→

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In the immortal words of Dante…Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m not even supposed to be here today. Leave town a little early for a weekend in the great American wilderness and Monica Conyers decides to plead guilty. Fuck. We shouldn’t be so surprised. Once Monica revealed her chocolate chip cookie recipe was available on the back of the Ghirardelli box, well, it was like she made... Read more→

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Come gather round children for I have a story of obscure political history to share. William Scott was a United States Senator from Virginia when, in 1974, Ralph Nader’s New Times magazine named him as America’s “Dumbest Congressman.” Senator Scott did not take kindly to this assertion. He promptly held a news conference to declare that, point of fact, he was not the dumbest member of Congress.... Read more→

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Barbara-Rose Collins will retire from City Council. She came to this decision after…wait for it…“much prayer and meditation.” Naturally. Refuge of the scoundrel and all of that. W.C. Fields, leafing through the Bible on his deathbed, announced he was “looking for a loophole.” Perhaps Collins was praying for the same loophole but that assumes Barbara-Rose Collins possesses some semblance... Read more→

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