Archive for September, 2009

They shouldn’t make it this easy. We’re all going to go blind from alcohol poisoning. Assignment Detroit: The Drinking Game rule 12: If they solicit the opinions of Kid Rock, Eminem, Jack White, or Brian “This Time” Vander Ark, drink. Twice if it’s Vander Ark. The end. (Assignment Detroit)  Read More →

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (13)

Prison cuts to create angrier, more violent ex-cons Lansing will balance the budget by cutting prison spending. What a great idea! Releasing non-violent drug offenders can save the state millions of dollars and the shift from incarceration to treatment will help reduce drug abuse and crime over the long-term. Which is why Lansing isn’t buying any of that hippie bullshit about mollycoddling non-violent... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Categories : Weekend Filler
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Categories : Weekend Filler
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I’m not the first person with this idea but maybe Time should give up the human interest infotainment crap and use their Assignment Detroit resources to investigate the systemic corruption within metro Detroit’s leadership class. The end product would would be a colorful, crazy, too-bizarre-to-be-fiction ride that reads like All The President’s Men if Hunter S. Thompson wrote it... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
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Corktown won’t support the local police Warren Evans is a dedicated law enforcement professional who would never do something as morally repugnant as operate an illegal after hours known for drug activity in one of the city’s most stable neighborhoods. So why is Corktown upset just because Evans happens to own the building of an illegal after hours in their community? After all, his own deputies... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (11)

Your move, civic leader Peter Karmanos Famous compuman and destroyer of the Hartford Whalers, Peter Karmanos, must have done something really, really awful. Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick has pictures. Or, at least, copies of dubious no-bid contracts. That explains why Karmanos hired the convicted perjurer but it doesn’t explain why he hasn’t yet fired Kilpatrick. Zero sales in six months as... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (20)

As we told you yesterday, Sports Illustrated triggered rule #6 of Assignment Detroit: The Drinking Game with their cover story about a plucky Tigers team raising Detroit’s weary spirits out of the economic doldrums. This lift Detroit in sports meme is an almost semi-annual rite of passage for lazy sports writers and, when the Lions finally win a game, we’ll probably get some soft-focus awfulness... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (8)

Dillon, Bishop still gay for each other but no budget yet Lansing is starting to feel like a British public school for Andy Dillon and Mike Bishop. Without any women to hook-up with on a budget deal, they are forced to make music together. Think about that. Two men. All alone in the wilds of Lansing. Probably reading Playboy which totally turns you gay. And they’re making a budget! God damnit... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Categories : Big Important News
Comments (13)