Archive for November, 2009

Hey kids, we’ve selected five finalists for the Palin-Torrice caption contest and guess who picks the winner? You do! It’s democracy and freedom, you betcha! Also web 2.0 whereas. Polls will remain open until 7:00 pm on Friday. Vote early, vote often. The winner will receive gift certificates from Hugh and the Bureau of Urban Living. Prizes were generously donated by the proprietors... Read more→

Categories : Contest!
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Nov
30

Holiday weekend news dump

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Guy with Mullet is hero for our times James Rosendall, the stool pigeon formerly known as Guy with Mullet, will be sentenced today. Prosecutors hope the judge is cool because Rosendall’s luscious mane is too beautiful for prison. Also, he totally gave up all his co-conspirators. That’s why Monica Conyers and Rayford Jackson are going to the hole for a long, long time. Meanwhile Sam Riddle is... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Categories : Weekend Filler
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Categories : Weekend Filler
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Carl Marlinga is the new Mr. Smithers Remember that guy? He was something in Macomb County until that shady campaign finance thing that he was totally acquitted for way back whenever. Vaguely? Well remember when Marlinga wrote to Barack Obama begging to be considered for the U.S. Attorney job? Oh, that slob! Now you remember. He’s C. Montgomery Burns’ Matty Moroun’s lawyer now. They’re suing... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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NOTE: So crazy, this was supposed to publish this morning. Anyway, here it is for posterity. Something we forgot about yesterday Monday we probably should have told you about Dave Bing’s plan to (according to Free Press headline writers) eliminate the city’s debt by…wait for it…borrowing money. It’s kind of like the time I owed Visa a bunch of money but I eliminated that debt by getting... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Barbara-Rose Collins, Martha-Rose Reeves want cars You heartless bastards. Poor Martha Reeves is so heartbroken that she doesn’t get to be a Councillady anymore. The least you people can do is let her buy a city Crown Victoria. For the memories. The mean Bing Administration says the city can’t afford to sell perfectly good used cars on the cheap to every geriatric dingbat that wants one. Joann... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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UPDATE 2: The finalists have been selected. Vote for your favorite now. Empowerment! UPDATE: Rarely, even in the absurd realm of Michigan politics, does one find something so absolutely bizarre as local politician of one party attempting to hitch her wagon to the other party’s most controversial and divisive figure. In that context, Dyspathy would be remiss not to milk this story for all it’s... Read more→

Categories : Contest!
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Nov
21

Hippies are stupid, the end

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Categories : Weekend Filler
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Ending the Michigan Promise scholarship is the greatest injustice ever Jennifer Granholm is still really angry about signing a budget that ends the Michigan Promise scholarship. Those mean legislators made her do it. Now it’s up to college students to fire (her word) those meanies because, absent a scholarship that basically pays for books, no one can afford college ever again. Ha ha, it’s not... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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