Archive for November, 2009

Why do we keep persecuting Kwame Kilpatrick for lying? It turns out convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick maybe does know how much he pays in rent. And eventually the Gang of Four, well get around to finishing all the paperwork on that loan. Dan Gilbert, who loans money for a living, decided to just give Kilpatrick money before signing a loan agreement. Also DeDan and Kandia Milton (and their mother)... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Oh hi! It just so happens that convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick has a big important sales meeting tomorrow so he can’t make court. His lawyer says this major sales pitch, if successful, would generate $300,000 in commissions which Kilpatrick would totally use to pay his restitution. Read more→  Read More →

Categories : Big Important News
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Just two star-crossed lovers in this crazy world Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick says he still loves Christine Beatty. Does he enjoy sleeping on the couch in the basement? He said this in an interview with a newspaper of a religion whose followers believes their messiah is hovering over earth in a magic spaceship. Kilpatrick doesn’t want you to think of Beatty as a whore because she fellated... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Peter Hoekstra is kind of a coward Oh my God! Oh my God! The terrorists are coming to America! In the custody of federal agents! And it’s causing us to use exclamation points like Upton Sinclair! Oh sure Dyspathy, you think we’re safe because the terrorists are housed in federal supermax prisons under the watch of U.S. Marshals but think about this, the Marshal’s are part of the same federal... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Tom Barrow’s mysteries of the unknown Did you know that Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln? Or that a woman in the Midwest felt a sharp pain in her hand and, at that exact moment, her daughter screams as she touches a hot pain? What about this? In 1989, Tom Barrow received 40% of the vote and in 2009 he also received 40% of the vote. Coincidence?... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Categories : Weekend Filler
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Sorry Mississippi, for the Michissippi thing Remember the good old days when we laughed at God-forsaken states like West Virginia and Arkansas? Those were good times. And they are long gone. Michigan is so poors now that even with robust economic growth it’ll take like 25 years for Michigan to return to the prosperity that was 1999. That “five years…blown away” line looks more and more ridiculous... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Shouldn’t we start talking about next year’s budget? So the horrible budget that everyone hates but everyone also agreed to because Lansing waited until the last minute to make a budget? Yeah well people still don’t like the draconian cuts to education funding but whatever. It’s probably too late to do much more than wring hands. The governor says “the system is not working.” Too bad... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Kids, gather ‘round for the legend of Stu Ungar Stu Ungar was the youngest World Series of Poker champion ever. A true genius with the cards. He loved three things: playing cards, his daughter, and cocaine. No really, he loved cocaine. According to legend, he cold bought a kilo for personal use one time. Stock up and save. Ungar was driven to win his third WSOP in 1997 out love for his daughter.... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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Best stripper names ever Surprise! Mike Cox and Ella Bully Cummings totally stonewalled the Manoogian investigation. Also all the 911 tapes and other critical evidence accidentally went missing after the DPD wouldn’t let the State Police review it. But that’s not important. What’s important is that the alleged strippers who were allegedly at the alleged stripper party were named Vanilla Fudge,... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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