Archive for June, 2010

God bless the gray hairs at the Metro Times. If it wasn’t for the sex trade ads paying their freight, we’d have another half-dozen baby boomers suckling at the Social Security teet. The once alternative rag says the emerging demographics shifts will one day prove the Social Fourm relevant. Aging white person Curt Guyette even quoted aging white person Shea Howell to prove that aging white person... Read more→

Categories : Jackals & Jackasses
Comments (21)

MLive has a 20 minute dashboard camera video of Tom Lewand’s arrest video. If Lewand was wearing a wife beater, COPS would save this gem for sweeps week. It’s one thing to get drunk. Who hasn’t done that? Even receiving a DUI is forgivable. Good people sometimes make mistakes. But lying to the cops and acting like a huge dick is something else. Apparently, Lewand’s SUV smelled... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (2)

Uncut grass is a precious jewel Facing the city’s greatest crisis ever, City Council and Mayor Bing reached a budget compromise to ensure 70 parks would remain open. Thank the Christ Jesus because, if they closed Palmer Park…well the closet cases can only go to Temple Bar so many nights a week. Also, can you imagine if someone didn’t maintain all that uncut grass? Talk about embarrassing. Still,... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (22)

Capital Beltway is John Conyers’ Maginot Line For people who keep Mike Allen atop their RSS readers, aged coward John Conyers is a swell guy. Even if his delusional sociopath of a wife used his brand name, with his explicit permission and support, to loot Detroit. Conyers shouldn’t have to answer questions about that. And no one should ask those questions, either. At least if they want to attend... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (18)

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Categories : State of the State
Comments (0)

Reality-based City Council ruins everything Dave Bing had a perfect plan to fix the budget. Hire accounting fabulist Norman White to pretend to balance the books. Thanks to White’s number crunching, Detroit had a fictional balanced budget. He did the same thing for the Kilpatrick Administration. Unfortunately, the City Council do-gooders are way too hung up on this “reality” thing to go along... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (16)

Things that won’t make a lick of difference A secret group is secretly asking voters to let the mayor run DPS. Considering the school board includes a Team Kilpatrick kleptocrat, a duly adjudicated child abuser, and idiots who elected a barely literate perv as board president, maybe this isn’t a terrible idea. Until you think about how well mayoral control worked for Ella Bully Cummings’ DPD... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (18)

Just this morning we were singing the praises of FBI Agent Andy Arena’s herculean efforts to clean up this wretched dump of kleptocracy, like he did in Youngstown. This afternoon, Arena cold delivers again. With a 19 count indictment of incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick. Mail fraud, tax evasion. The full nine. Teen. And you know what that means? More unintentional comedy from comically awful... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (15)

The Regional Chamber unclear on endorsement concept So one time on a sixth grade science test I couldn’t decide between answers B and D for this multiple choice question. I circled both, and the correct answer was D. Teacher marked my answer incorrect. No half credit for hedging your bets. Kids, that’s a life lesson. One the Detroit Regional Chamber of Commerce never learned. They endorsed Andy... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (4)

How about a side of sludge with your heavy metals? The 48217 ZIP Code in southwest Detroit is a giant dumping ground of toxic crap, and everyone has cancer or asthma. No really. That’s not a joke or an exaggeration or anything. It’s a stone cold fact. That’s why Team Kilpatrick and convicted felon Monica Conyers were so eager to put that sludge processing plant in southwest. Because all... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (2)