Archive for August, 2010

Michigan employers have high standards You people probably still think getting a job is easy. Scrape through high school or get your equivalency, and your old man can get you in at the plant. Look losers, it doesn’t work that way anymore. Because Asians with better math skills will do the same work as you for less money. And they won’t call in “sick” every time they have twelve beers while... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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I don’t want to rush the Big Guy, but it’s been 20 hours since Detroiters (including state Representative David Nathan) gathered at Campus Martius to pray the recession away. I figure if He can create the heavens and the earth and all the rest in six days, it shouldn’t take Him but a few hours to create a financial breakthrough. So did the praying work or what?  Read More →

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Socialist federal government hurts Frank Beckmann’s feelings The Great Voice of Great Lakes Pollution, Frank Beckmann, will not like reading about this. Assuming he possesses the cognitive capacity to read. The government won’t let the God-fearing, patriotic job creators at Enbridge Oil re-open their beloved oil pipeline. Even though said pipeline generously donated oil to the rivers and streams... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (11)

While the Republicans are busy eating their own, the Democrats are holding the boringest political convention since anyone paid attention to the Prohibition Party. Jocelyn Benson and David Leyton were pre-nominated months ago. And everyone loves Lansing anger bear Virg Bernero. Except for Andy Dillon, but he’s probably still on vacation. Anyway, the only remotely exciting thing to happen at the... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
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Famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder found himself a nice, outstate conservative to be his running mate, so everyone thought right-wingers would be happy. Everyone forgot that regular ‘Mericans just want their country back. And they won’t put up with these corrupt backroom deals whereby a party’s elected gubernatorial nominee selects his or her running mate, as is the long-standing custom.... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
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Categories : State of the State
Comments (1)

OMG, Dyspathy headline writing department! Why are you guys so insensitive? Rochelle Riley bravely explained that Dave Bing isn’t right-sizing Detroit. That’s the wrong word. He’s redefining Detroit. After months of transparently secret work with planning guru Toni Griffin, Dave Bing is ready to implement phase one of their plan. As Bing will probably explain to Jim Gray on the ESPN (cable channel... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (15)

Michigan’s Grand Old Party about to get crazy up in here Probably you public radio-listening, cage-free organic egg-eating French hippies thought Michigan avoided the tea party crazy because famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder won the Republican nomination. Fools. The teabaggers will probably control the GOP convention this weekend. A teabagger even beat the state GOP chairman in a delegate race.... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
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The fine folks at the Detroit News’ City Hall Insider blog report that incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick is using the Twitter machine again to relay important messages to Team Kilpatrick supporters. This strategy fits perfectly in Kilpatrick’s new media wheelhouse. After all, many of his fancy sext messages were under 140 characters. For instance: “LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted... Read more→

Categories : Big Important News
Comments (11)

Rick Michigan makes terribly unimportant choice There is nothing more important than selecting a running mate. Except for almost anything else. But we like to make a big deal when gubernatorial or presidential nominees make their pick because, well, because they usually do it in August and nothing else is going on. Snyder tapped 33-year-old Brian Calley to be his running mate. No one knows much about... Read more→

Categories : State of the State
Comments (11)