Sep
23

THE DILLON-BISHOP BROMANCE, DETROIT DOESN’T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE, AND CITY COUNCIL HATES TWO DRINK MINIMUMS

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Dillon, Bishop still gay for each other but no budget yet
Lansing is starting to feel like a British public school for Andy Dillon and Mike Bishop. Without any women to hook-up with on a budget deal, they are forced to make music together. Think about that. Two men. All alone in the wilds of Lansing. Probably reading Playboy which totally turns you gay. And they’re making a budget! God damnit Jennifer Granholm, can you get between these two hulking specimens of American manhood before this budget is consummated in a way that offends nature. What if we’re on the street and see Andy Dillon and Mike Bishop doing…you know? How do we explain that to children? (Freep)

In Obama’s America, the blacks can live in Macomb County
African-Americans are leaving Detroit because, and this may surprise some, black people also prefer communities with good schools and responsive police departments. Everyone north of 18 Mile take a deep breath and let that sink in. We know, we know, you want your country back. But things are still really “nice” up around 34 Mile Road. Nice being Macomb County’s secret handshake word for “the blacks don’t live there.” This regional planning strategy of white people moving one place so they can abandon it when black people move there has really paid huge dividends for metro Detroit. How long before the Freep Klavern start complaining that Southfield isn’t safe anymore? (DetNews)

Abandon all hope so our unemployment rate may fall
It’s easy to complain about the unemployed sleeping to noon and watching daytime tv while drinking warm Milwaukee’s Best. Turns out, lazy unemployeds are the glue that is holding our fragile economy together. Without their apathy, Michigan’s unemployment rate would be way higher. If someone gives up hope of ever getting hired then he’s retired instead of unemployed. Pretty soon, with so many retirees, Michigan will be the new Florida. Only without the humidity. Our old neighbors, Fern and Bert Goldmen moved to Arizona. They say it gets hot but it’s a dry heat. Much nicer than this humidity all the time. Nice people the Goldmens. (MLive)

Strip clubs offend City Council’s Victorian sensibilities

Half-naked women dancing at bars. Usually near warehouses and factories. This is the most pressing issue facing Detroit according to City Council and a bunch of Charlie Churches. If only we can get rid of these offensive strip clubs then everything will be ok. You know what we find offensive? A police chief who owns an illegal after hours frequented by known drug dealers. A deputy mayor who was previously convicted of public corruption. A City Council that’s willing to poison the city’s one growing area for spare change and a free lunch. A school board that includes unfit, abusive parents. Compared to all of that, tits are downright wholesome. (DetNews)

Start your day with a Blue Ribbon breakfast
Our friends at Assignment Detroit discovered that the fashion industry will save Detroit. Wait what? A few creative class types design pretty dresses, to be manufactured by 14-year-old Bangladeshis, and that’s how we’re going to rebound? Maybe we should tell them about our movie industry? Bottoms up kids because this activates rule # 9. If they drop tired booster memes such as creative class, cool cities, $100 houses, drink a Pabst. And if you had any dignity, you’d drink it while wearing an American Appeal t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a Palestinian scarf. Also Sally Jesse glasses. (Assignment Detroit)

Categories : State of the State

9 Comments

1

I’m not sure if this rates a drink, because they’re only mentioning Kid Rock, but…

Kid Rock, who will show his Made In Detroit clothing line

….hold me, mommy…

And judging from the titles (can’t watch right now) the videos in the sidebar look like they could result in alcohol poisoning.

2

While strip clubs are something I just don’t get (I’d rather have a real pair of fun bags to play with and do as I please), I don’t see why they need to “crack down” on them. Can they crack down on City Council corruption instead? I don’t care, honestly, I just hate the haughty taughty moral high ground bullshit some people try to pull.

3

You forgot Parliament cigarettes to go with the hipster uniform.

4
One more idiot with an opinion and a keyboard
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:39 am

A strip club crackdown equals dumb election year stunts meant to fool a stupid electorate. It’s that time of year where City Council works really hard to make it look like its working really hard. Talk about tearing down MCS, fight to “save” Cobo, crack down on strip clubs – these are all more important issues than balancing a budget, improving public safety or putting a simple question on the ballot.

5
One more idiot with an opinion and a keyboard
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm

The most pressing issues City Council should be dealing with but gave up on because they’re just too hard:

1) Balancing the budget and restructuring it to prevent chronic inbalances
2) Improving public safety
3) Preventing and prosecuting public corruption
4) Putting Council by Districts on the ballot
5) Creating a better business atmosphere by lowering tax burden and shrinking the bureaucracy

Instead we get this:

1) Crack down on strip clubs
2) Dithering on Council by Districts until Appeals Court gives guidance
3) Grandstanding on “saving” Cobo
4) Talk about tearing down MCS
5) Long summer recess

6

Barbara Rose Collins had great tits and you know she can work a pole. You’d think she’d be all over having strange men shove dollar bills in her g-string!

7

Isn’t that pole thing why Princess Rosie was thrown out of Congress?

8

I sure as hell would not want to try to find the g-string on BRC! I’d be afraid my hand would get stuck somewhere.

9

[…] for students seeking to go to college so they can join the middle class.” This, even though Dillon basically agreed with Bishop on the Senate’s budget version for the final state budget. The conventional wisdom is they worked out a deal for Dillon’s […]

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