Oct
27

Art Blackwell is a lousy gambler, DPS showing signs of life, and U2 will burn couches, Sparty on for the Third World

By


No one will find Art Blackwell in Windsor
Art Blackwell was going to Canada but the judge was like: you have money stashed in Windsor, felony charges pending, and (oh yeah) like $1,000,000 in gambling debts. When did Art suddenly become Pete Rose? Blackwell told the judge he only has $300 stashed in Windsor (probably in singles for the ballet) and he accrued those gambling debts over five years when he made $11,000,000. Wait, Art Blackwell made $11,000,000 in the last five years? Why did he need that Highland Park salary? Or receive repo notices for his four overleveraged cars? You know, forget all that, what kind of retard picks this slob to be emergency financial manager of anything? (Freep)

Ella Bully-Cummings was a terrible police chief
The Detroit Police released crime numbers (totally not cooked at all) and the DPD has been cold solving murders since Warren Evans took over. Crime fighting is way easier when the police chief isn’t overly preoccupied with the needs and wants of a cheap political hack like Christine Beatty. That’s one theory. Alternatively, Warren Evans is like that cop in The Wire. He effectively legalized crime in one tiny, unlicensed Corktown nightclub and crime went down everywhere else. It’ll work to if he can just keep the mayor in the dark about his counter-intuitive but ingenious plan. (DetNews)

Robert “Bob” Bobb is awesome, everyone else running schools not so much
Even though DPS is basically bankrupt and technically run by a school board of dung pile dullards, Robert “Bob” Bobb managed to find 2000 extra students. DPS will get more cash because of it. Awesome. Too bad Lansing is cutting funding to pretty much every other school in Michigan so as to avoid, you know, actually fixing the state budget. Pretty soon they’ll just close the schools and send the kids to work the carnival circuit. The world needs Tilt-A-Whirl operators. (MLive, DetNews)

Arbitrary poll predicts arbitrary result

Rasmussen asked Michigan voters if they would prefer an unspecified Democrat or an unspecified Republican in an arbitrary gubernatorial match-up next year. The results are pretty much what one would expect to that generic, wholly irrelevant survey question. Some people like the fictional Democrat, other people like the fictional Republican, and a bunch other people aren’t really sure. Next week Rasmussen will ask Michigan voters if they prefer an unspecified lunch or an unspecified dinner. Also no one likes Jennifer Granholm or the state legislature. (Freep)

Children of the 1980’s, this is your Branson
Aging rock band U2 is coming to Lansing to play their old-time songs from the 1980’s. Yes, yes we all like Rattle and Hum but that was 22 years ago. On June 30, 2010, Bono and the gang will entertain middle-class, middle-age, and middle-brow rock fans at Spartan Stadium. Well, U2 will entertain them, if they stick to a greatest hits set list and don’t veer off into “a few tracks from the new album” or a 20-minute plus free-form jazz improvisation jam. The only way this show could be a bigger punch in the dick is if Coldplay and Matchbox 20 are the opening acts. (DetNews)

Categories : State of the State

9 Comments

1

“If I’ve told them once… I’ve told them a thousand times… Spinal Tap and THEN the puppet show!”

3

They do and its sucks so massively you could fit a donkey cock down their throats. I remember seeing the preview of Rattle and Hum at the movie theater out at Eastland Mall and damn near getting a boner. And yes I was 20 then.

Fuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeee.

4

SPARTYFAN is likely pissed that they aren’t getting KID ROCK. Isn’t U2 from like another country or something? That’s either gay or socialist or both.

Not sure if Warren Evans knows what he’s doing, but his communications staff sure does.

5

y’know, WF, I’m a little disappointed that there was no mention of Blackwell owning Arturo’s in Southfield. Wasn’t someone kiiled there recently, then the witness killed as well? I guess that could explain why business is hurting for Art a smidge.

7

motz, detroit has low work place death rates…could this because we have so few work places? I think it’s really just a matter of exposure on that one.

8

I just find it funny that one of the publications that has slammed us and called us totally unsafe and all that jazz can go back and be like “welp, actually no. They are the 12th safest!”

9

The Forbes lists are so ridiculous. They don’t even merit comment anymore.

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