Kwame Kilpatrick testimony extravaganza – now with updates!


Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick lives in a fancy house in a Dallas suburb. His wife doesn’t work. Nor do his children. He and his wife do not have a joint checking account because of “the harassment” of, you know, the criminal justice process. Despite the fact that they doesn’t have a joint checking account and the fact that his wife doesn’t have a source of income, she’s paying the rent! Kilpatrick doesn’t know how much rent his wife pays. Every month. For the mansion they live in. That totally sounds plausible.

Oh Jesus, he received a personal loan from “an individual” for $240,000 after he left jail. Oh wait, actually it was several individuals who gave him that money. By several he means four. By four he means, Roger Penske, Jim Nicholson, Dan Gilbert, and Pete Karmanos. Fuck all four of them.

Oh and he doesn’t “think” he has any investment or retirement accounts. He also “believes” he made all his restitution payments. Believes? The judge doesn’t seem to by it. And what’s this shit about sometimes borrowing $2000 to make restitution and then paying that back. Is Kwame using a loan shark? This guy is so third-rate.

UPDATE 1: Oh hey fun! Kilpatrick once made a sworn statement that Carlita hasn’t worked since 2004. The prosecutors asked him about it and he plead the fifth. Like Crazy Joe Gallo testifying before Congress.

UPDATE 2: Hahaha Carlita won’t tell her husband if she has job. She just goes at and never tells him for what because Christine Beatty fellated him. “A friend of ours” sometimes babysits the kids. Who is this friend, a Tocco? (Freep)

Categories : Big Important News



OK , I admit it. In Nov. 1996, I gave Carlita $50K to do a bat job on Mon Con. I was wrong, I realize that now, but it was for the good of the city. Well, Carlita stiffed me, and threatened to take me out if I talked. I tried getting Kwame to intervene, but he demanded $10K to talk to Carlita, and she had bankrupt me. To be fair, they did take me to the local Dickey’s BBQ the last time I was Texas. Seems they had coupons that were about to expire.


All I got was Ben’s Chili Bowl.


You mean Benz Chili Bowl?

Team Kilpatrick was doomed the minute Wonkette picked up on that typo.



I’ve lived in Texas and I’ve lived in DC and Ben’s chili ain’t nothing special. Unless you’re comparing it to that mess the serve in Cincinnati. Kwame doesn’t deserve Texas chili.


My favorite part of KK’s testimony was the $50,000 in gifts that Mr. Burns/Matty Maroun gave to Carlita and the kids as “gifts”. Money quote: “Because of the incredible work of your office, madame prosecutor, there are a lot of people who have continued to give help to my wife and my children. I don’t know why people do what they do.” Of course if you asked whom else did so or how much, he’d say, “I don’t know.” I think we should all demand anyone who gave the Kilpatricks money also personally donate equivalent amounts to some prisoner reentry programs or something as just the beginning of their penance. Disgusting.


This is just groovy. I am a laid off city worker in her 50’s with no health insurance and this guy is living it up in a manse in texas, and I’m begging DTE not to cut off my gas, just groovy.

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