Porn polls tops and bottoms in City Council race, Free Press still hearts commerce, and Perles-Manderich 2010

Another zany City Council poll
A recent poll said Gary Brown was the next Council President and Ken Cockrel would finish sixth. A new poll says the presidency is a race between Cockrel and famous deadbeat Charles Pugh. We trust these numbers because they came from pollster Bernie Porn. Ha ha Mr. Porn is showing us his poll. What? This is the fourth city election in nine months. If they have another one , we’d just fart and call it commentary. You know, like Rochelle Riley. In case you care, Porn has Talabi and Watson winning and John Bennett losing. Devil you know and all that. (DetNews)

Commerce facilitation update
Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick received his loan money from the gang of four months before he agreed to re-payment. The Freep also reports that Pete Karmanos has no comment except to say the payments were loans. That’s not true. Karmanos said: I made a personal loan to former Mayor Kilpatrick last year so that we could encourage him to resign. In other words, Karmanos promised money to a public official to influence an official decision. Kilpatrick is a baffoonish villain figure who doesn’t buy ad space. Karmanos’ enterprises do purchase advertising. Reporting his potentially incrementing words, at this time, must violate the Free Press newsroom’s sacred obligation to facilitate commerce. (Freep)

George Perles turns down New York Jets governor’s job
We aren’t sure who Joel Ferguson fired to make this happen but mediocre ex-football coach George Perles is running for governor of Michigan. Who better to save the state of Michigan than a 75-year-old ex-coach who once lost the Cherry Bowl? The key to the Perles Plan for Michigan starts with massive steroid use by the legislature. By 2012, the state can make it to an All-American Bowl. Then he’ll get tutors to manipulate the state’s key economic grades so Michigan is eligible to compete with Southern California and other economic power houses. Dr. Lou Ana Simon should probably just resign right now. (DetNews)

Art Schlichter still lives with his mom
That’s almost sadder than going from a top NFL draft pick to getting run out of Arena football. Kids, that’s a lesson don’t gamble on the sport you play. What is it about Ohio athletes and their massive gambling debts? Must be something in the water down there. Several bookmakers and loan sharks devoted their entire operations to bleeding Pete Rose and Art Schilichter. Those guys were worthless douchebags. And now Schilichter lives with his mother and wants to ruin Dan Gilbert’s casino scheme. Seriously Gilbert, give this guy a smartARM so he get off your back and out of mom’s basement. (Crains)