Judge David Groner’s head will explode, the real America is kind of scary, and Jennifer Granholm hedges

Why do we keep persecuting Kwame Kilpatrick for lying?
It turns out convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick maybe does know how much he pays in rent. And eventually the Gang of Four, well get around to finishing all the paperwork on that loan. Dan Gilbert, who loans money for a living, decided to just give Kilpatrick money before signing a loan agreement. Also DeDan and Kandia Milton (and their mother) helped him make the few restitution payments that he did pay because he had to give all that loan money to Carlita because she is still mega-pissed. In theory, this whole mess should be over today but Kilpatrick has a prior obligation so they’ll pencil in another session for 12/7. Kilpatrick swears to God that he’ll bring a note from his mom Peter Karmanos excusing him from court. (DetNews, Freep)

Russell Kirk is spinning in his grave
The dregs of the American gene pool descended on a mall in Grand Rapids to get their word books signed by Sarah Palin. They know the liberal media is totally hating on Sarah Palin by accurately reciting her public pronouncements on key policy issues during the campaign. Oh sure, Sarah Palin said she supported the bailout but that was only because the mean inside-the-Beltway staffers totally made her say that. Left to her own devices, Palin says things like: “Michigan is so much like Alaska with the huntin’ and fishin’ and the hockey moms.” When she’s president the only advisor she’ll need is Jesus. And Glenn Beck. Also. Whereas. It’s probably best that Whitaker Chambers isn’t around to witness this farce. (MLive)

Unemployment marginally less awful
Recovery! Michigan’s dreadful unemployment rate is a manageable 15.1% which is really better than the previous unemployment rate of 15.3%. Probably that film tax credit saved the economy. Or maybe it was all those green jobs. Of course, it could’ve been the cuts to education spending that made Michigan’s tax structure competitive with Mississippi and Oklahoma. Whatever the reason, 84.9% of you people will have a Christmas this year. The rest of you just need to remember to wait until MARVIN says good-bye before hanging up. (DetNews)

Michigan’s Bridge to Nowhere
Speaking of Sarah Palin, Joe Biden made an inspired choice when he selected Jennifer Granholm to play Palin in his debate prep sessions. Just like Palin, Granholm has to walk back her support for a Bridge to Nowhere. You may remember when she was like golly, it would be great if C. Montgomery Burns Matty Moroun built his magic sparkly second Ambassador Bridge. It’s not that she’s now opposed to Moroun’s bridge, per se, but she just supports the DRIC crossing more. That is to say, she supports DRIC more at the present moment. Give it a week and she’ll have a completely different equivocation. (Crains)