Nov
20

Michigan Promise scholarship isn’t over because the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor and the inevitable Sarah Palin-Carey Torrice summit

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Ending the Michigan Promise scholarship is the greatest injustice ever
Jennifer Granholm is still really angry about signing a budget that ends the Michigan Promise scholarship. Those mean legislators made her do it. Now it’s up to college students to fire (her word) those meanies because, absent a scholarship that basically pays for books, no one can afford college ever again. Ha ha, it’s not like Michigan kids will be prepared for college what with the to-the-bone cuts to K-12 funding. (MLive)

Rabbit season. Farbman season. Rabbit season. Farbman season.
Robert “Bob” Bobb cleaned his rifle, donned his orange vest, and now he has the Farbman boys in his sights. Those heads will look good on Bobb’s wall. Poetic, considering even hunting groups thought the Farbmans’ World Hunting Association is inappropriate and barbaric. Who would have thought that people attempting to professionalize sport hunting would be total dicks? Crazy. Take dead aim at these corrupt Elmer Fudds, Bobb. Dead aim. (Freep)

Federal prison can be a civic jewel too
Lou Pavledes is going to prison for 14 months even though he helped the prosecution nab Monica, Rayford Jackson, and company. The judge took one look at Pavledes and was like: You’re a slob and you ran shady deals in this slob town. Do not pass go, etc, etc. Let’s hope this same judge decides how long Monica will spend in the hole. Kwame and the Killer too. You know that federal case will be epic. (DetNews)

Supporting John Edwards is the most embarrassing part
Why was John Edwards considered presidential? Not once but twice, serious Democrats looked at that backwoods ambulance chaser and thought: leader of the free world. Then we learned John Edwards was a huge douchebag. That explains why Geoffrey Fieger gave him a whole mess of dubious campaign contributions. Douchebags smell their own. Insert your own vinegar joke here. (Crains)

Dear Ohio, sorry
Hot Macomb Commissioner Carey Torrice will meet Sarah Palin in Cincinnati today. Let’s skip the Palin-Torrice 2012 dream ticket speculation. They’re better suited for a sitcom. Palin leaves the Republican Party, what with its bad Washington insiders. Torrice splits with the Democrats because Paul Gieleghem doesn’t respect her fashion sense. They move into together, just two straight-shootin’ political gals helping each other make it in this crazy world. It’ll be The Odd Couple meets Kate and Ally. And who won’t turn in for the lesbian make-out episode? Hot! (Facebook)

Categories : State of the State

6 Comments

1

My sister, who just graduated high school this past May, received a letter from Jennifer Granholm where she sounded so upset that she had to sign that budget into law and that she couldn’t, you know, sit everyone down and work out something that would be beneficial for all. You know, like real leaders do. My parents found it amusing when I pointed out that she signed the budget, then had the nerve to send out letters to all these high school students. Good job on not wasting money!

2

Ohio is *exactly* where Sarah and Carey belong! What’s the difference between the 586 and Ohio? An IQ point? A pound? A goatee trim?

3

we welcome them with open arms and loving hearts!

4

more cowboy hats and less kid rock, I’d assume. maybe more four wheelers too, but they are probably tied in that category.

5

Meanwhile, Rochelle Riley is totally jealous/hot for Oprah.

6

I’m so glad that the Detroit Daily is coming about because now I can read a paper that doesn’t have really horribly shitty second page columns. “The kids need to be raised properly” really, thanks, wasnt sure Rochelle.

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