Nov
25

Carl Marlinga is Matty Moroun’s new toy, get a rabies shot after seeing Twilight, and Lions Thankgiving follies

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Carl Marlinga is the new Mr. Smithers
Remember that guy? He was something in Macomb County until that shady campaign finance thing that he was totally acquitted for way back whenever. Vaguely? Well remember when Marlinga wrote to Barack Obama begging to be considered for the U.S. Attorney job? Oh, that slob! Now you remember. He’s C. Montgomery Burns’ Matty Moroun’s lawyer now. They’re suing MDOT over the gateway project. Also, unconfirmed report: Dan Stamper has a chotch ‘stache like John Daly at the 1991 PGA. Matty must’ve said something about mustache rides. (Crains)

Worse than Star Wars dorks
That’s saying a lot considering those sexless losers spent weeks outside multiplexes, in costume, just to see a movie that wasn’t leaving the theaters for six months. As awful as Star Wars dorks were, at least they didn’t bite anyone. Yep, some Twilight freak in west Michigan bit another Twilight freak during the movie. Hi dorks, Kristen Stewart (like every other girl on the planet) will not make out with you even if you really think you’re a vampire. Which you are not. (DetNews)

Freep-News death watch or how I sold my Gannett stock and learned to love the internet

The Detroit Daily Press launched yesterday. Although it was more difficult to purchase at CVS than a box of Sudafed. The paper was packed with Lions coverage, according to Bill Shea. Dear Daily Press, we really want to like you but Rob Parker? Why not Janet Cooke and Stephen Glass? The Free Press and News are taking this new competition seriously. They’ll remain competitive by furloughing employees. Market research shows that customers want newspapers to find new and innovative ways to reduce content. (Crains, more Crains)

Of course
Friends, the devil has come to Lincoln Park. And he arrived in the seductive silicone-enhanced shape of erotic dancers. We must fight this pestilence upon our community (or area of the community legally zoned for adult businesses) as if it was locusts because the alternative is damnation of our immortal souls. Let us lift Lincoln Park in prayer. Onward Christian Soldiers, marching as to way… (DetNews)

Lions to lift Green Bay in football
The northern Wisconsin town is a proud community, even if the meat-packing industry has seen better days. Fortunately, everyone in Green Bay takes great pride in their beloved football team. It lifts their weary spirits. Fun fact, the Packers have won more Super Bowls in the last 50 years than the Lions have won playoff games in that same period. Tomorrow they’ll embarrass the Lions in a nationally televised tradition. The Dyspathy line puts the over-under on Aaron Rodgers touchdowns at four. (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

4 Comments

1
Downriver's Friend
November 25th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Carl Marlinga is a douchebag and a tool the end.

2

Where can I find info for getting home delivery for the Detroit Daily Press?? They don’t have a website, from the looks of it

3

I totally agree with Downriver’s Friend hahaha!

4

Torrice is the new Jessica Rabbit! Vote for Torrice for Senate.

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