Pain freak Candice Miller doesn’t need no stinkin’ safewordBy
So did anyone see that story earlier this month about Missouri Speaker of the House Rod Jetton? You know, the one where Jetton beat the ever-loving shit out of his mistress because she didn’t use the proper safeword…because he allegedly slipped her some roofies. Well, we’d like to suggest a new S&M partner for Rod Jetton: U.S. Representative Candice Miller. She cold gets off on inflicting pain. Thank you mistress, may I have another.
The one-time competent administrator of driver’s licenses is angry because we’re mollycoddling that douchebag terrorist who couldn’t even blow up his leg. Why give him an expensive, fancy trial (like Tim McVeigh, Ramzi Yousef, and the freaking Nazis at Nuremberg all had) when we can just send him to Gitmo and put him through “the harshest interrogation that this administration would allow.”
Of course “this administration” gets all strict constructionist about that outdated “cruel and unusual punishment” thing in the Constitution. You know what else is in the Constitution? A rule counting black people as 3/5 of a person. Does this Barack HUSSEIN Obama support that too? Probably. Or at least, we can’t take that chance.
So, according to Candice Miller, the president, assuming he cares about protecting America, probably should cut his vacation short, fly to Gitmo, and personally twist this guy’s nuts until they explode. If Obama won’t do that, then he should at least let Candice Miller do it. To defend our freedoms. And values. And also because Candice Miller gets really hot just imagining that scene. (DetNews)
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