Dec
28

Pain freak Candice Miller doesn’t need no stinkin’ safeword

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So did anyone see that story earlier this month about Missouri Speaker of the House Rod Jetton? You know, the one where Jetton beat the ever-loving shit out of his mistress because she didn’t use the proper safeword…because he allegedly slipped her some roofies. Well, we’d like to suggest a new S&M partner for Rod Jetton: U.S. Representative Candice Miller. She cold gets off on inflicting pain. Thank you mistress, may I have another.

The one-time competent administrator of driver’s licenses is angry because we’re mollycoddling that douchebag terrorist who couldn’t even blow up his leg. Why give him an expensive, fancy trial (like Tim McVeigh, Ramzi Yousef, and the freaking Nazis at Nuremberg all had) when we can just send him to Gitmo and put him through “the harshest interrogation that this administration would allow.”

Of course “this administration” gets all strict constructionist about that outdated “cruel and unusual punishment” thing in the Constitution.  You know what else is in the Constitution? A rule counting black people as 3/5 of a person. Does this Barack HUSSEIN Obama support that too? Probably. Or at least, we can’t take that chance.

So, according to Candice Miller, the president, assuming he cares about protecting America, probably should cut his vacation short, fly to Gitmo, and personally twist this guy’s nuts until they explode. If Obama won’t do that, then he should at least let Candice Miller do it. To defend our freedoms. And values. And also because Candice Miller gets really hot just imagining that scene. (DetNews)

Categories : Big Important News

8 Comments

1

You don’t fuck with the 586. Not that anyone from out that way is really familiar with shit like international travel.

2
Downriver's Friend
December 28th, 2009 at 8:11 pm

We know what Randy Candy would do. She would beat this guy with her sensible shoes. But what would Jesus do? I must have missed the Bible study session which said it’s okay to torture our enemies, because our enemies are HIS enemies, and he would totally fuck them up for hanging Him on a cross. Or not.

3

That manly-bitch needs to clean up her own house (i.e. her daughter) before she goes judging others…isn’t it always the ones with the most skeletons who come out with this crap? Send this bitch over to Yemen and let them at her.

4

Is that really the President and CEO of Portage Media Group watching the floor show from the Loge seat?

5

All I’m saying is if you’re going to enter political discourse with a congresswoman with thighs the size of sequoias, you’d better have your facts straight. I’d personally just do what she says, whether it supports “freedom” or not.

6

One point of correction – the Nuremberg Trials – despite the use of the word “trials” – were not formal criminal court proceedings as this article would suggest. In fact, Nuremberg was actually a MILITARY TRIBUNAL – and as such, is a good example of how terrorists should be tried. That is, in a military court. There is absolutely NO legal precedence for trying terrorists in civilian courts.

7
Woodward's Friend
January 9th, 2010 at 8:20 pm

There is absolutely NO legal precedence for trying terrorists in civilian courts.

Tim McVeigh and Ramzi Yousef don’t count?

When someone catches Bin Laden and his chief lieutenants feel free to put them on trial in a military court a la Nuremberg. As for this half-wit goat thief who couldn’t even blow up his manties, the Levin Courthouse will do just fine.

8

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