Jan
18

Mitch Albom gets it, no more free demolitions, and Pistons and Red Wings to build new arena in space

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Mitch Albom facilitates commerce
Poor Mitch never understood the auto show. It was just a bunch of cars in a convention center. He couldn’t figure out why people cared. Then he got to do commercials for the auto show and, like a man who commercializes an old man’s last days, Mitch totally gets the auto show! It’s important because times are tough blah blah blah. If you’re unemployed, this auto show is a symbol. Not unlike the Tigers inspirational pennant chase. Everyone is inspired now. Yay! Also Mitch gets more exposure and probably another paycheck. You can’t beat the Free Press for awesome journalistic ethics. (Freep)

About freaking time
Interesting fact: the first step to collecting money that you’re owed is to send a bill. This is a concept that previous leaders have failed to grasp in the city of Detroit. Some $50,000,000 was spent in the last six years knocking down buildings to herald downtown’s glorious re-birth. Nobody bothered to bill the Ilitches and Higgines and Peronis for demolishing their shitty, unmaintained buildings. But now Dave Bing is cold bringing the hammer down. He might even use a collection agency! How cutting-edge. (DetNews)

Where’s the money, Kilpatrick?
Judge Groner will rule Wednesday in the Restitution Case of the Century but since this epic legal battle dragged on for three months, everyone else has had plenty of time to conclude that, yep, convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick violated his restitution arrangements. Keep in mind that nobody pays their restitution in Wayne County so Kilpatrick probably didn’t expect that he’d have to make his payments either. Too bad these mean prosecutors are all the time hassling the one convicted felon who happens to be a former mayor. That’s just not fair. (Freep)

Pistons, Red Wings may build new arena, or not

Scoop! The Red Wings and the Pistons are planning a new downtown arena for both teams. Or they could be. Maybe. Or the Red Wings might move to the Palace. But that could be a problem for their downriver fans, who just love spending time downtown. Yes, we’re implying that downriver hockey fans are kind of racist. What of it? Anyway, the only actual news here is that Bill Davidson’s family might sell the Pistons and Palace Sports and Entertainment. Possibly. (DetNews)

Awful vendors trying to destroy local film industry
Greedy local businesses think they should get “paid” for providing services to filmmakers who care enough about Michigan to make movies here. Now these corporate vultures expect the Michigan Film Office to hassle these magical artists who bring their industry of joy and wonder to our state. Don’t these vendors know how important film making is to our economy? The state is throwing gobs of tax credits at the film makers. The least our local business community can do is give them free stuff also. To help our economy. (Freep)

Michael Rosenberg is your new Mitch Albom
Hey Rosenberg, no one confuses the late night “controversy” with something like the Haitian earthquake. It’s entertainment. Like the Jersey Shore or Seinfeld. People watch it, they talk about it at work, and then they go on with their lives. The only people who conflate the Conan-Jay battle with health care reform or unemployment are panty-waste sportswriters who wring their hands over the latest pop culture shenanigans. Save it for The Sports Reporters, dickbag. (Freep)

Categories : State of the State

5 Comments

1
Downriver's Friend
January 18th, 2010 at 1:21 pm

I don’t deny there’s racism Downriver, but I can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting someone wearing a Red Wings jersey. I know lots of Downriverites who enjoy a night at the Joe and hanging out downtown afterward (of course that doesn’t mean they’re not also racists). Incidentally, Trenton was Hockeytown before Detroit ever was.

2

People like to bust on Jersey Shore, but it’s therapeutic: If watching that show doesn’t make you feel better about yourself, then you’re probably a cast member.

I’m sad that after Thursday, there will be no more Situation, Ronnie, JWOW, Snooki and the rest of the gang.

3

I hope we’ll see them again, hopefully in middle age. Jwowwwww has like 13 kids, The Situation has beer belly, and Vinny gained some self-awareness and behaves like the productive member of society that we all know he can be.

4

I fucking love Jersey Shore and the only TV I watch that isn’t a sporting event is the Simpsons. Well, and Jersey Shore now.

5

Jersey Shore is the best shore. That show as entertained me through more hangovers than any VH1 trash TV ever could.

I disappeared for a weekend and come back and its all “We’re building a new stadium for the Red Wings AND Pistons and we’re collecting demolition monies that we “forgot” to collect and Kwame’s goin to jail”. What happened to you, Detroit? Did you grow a functioning brain for a second? Then I saw an Albom AND Rosenberg article on the same write up and breathed a sigh of relief.

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