Misquoting of DeDan Milton, John Conyers is yellow, and if Jennifer Granholm speaks in a forest does she make a sound?

DeDan “The Bull” Milton takes a plea
Beloved deadbeat dad DeDan Milton still owes $17,000 in back child support but he can’t pay because no one gives him bribes anymore. We don’t have to say allegedly anymore because DeDan pled guilty today. Oh and that whole thing about how DeDan Milton would never say anything about convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick? Yeah, he was misquoted. Allegedly. All we know for sure is that, maybe, he’ll avoid jail time by cooperating. Hopefully, the feds will put him in the witness protection program. They don’t call Bernard “killer” because he plays piano like Jerry Lee Lewis. (DetNews)

This new thing called journalism
Poor old John Conyers wants to run out the clock as chairman of the House Judiciary Committee but mean reporters keep asking about his wife. You may remember Mrs. John Conyers, also known as Monica but don’t call her that. She’s a convicted felon. Why should the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee have to answer these silly questions? So unreasonable! Except that it isn’t. Here’s an idea, when John Conyers holds a press conference someone should ask him about his wife the felon. If the doddering old coot refuses to answer then all the reporters should go ask Nancy Pelosi why this douchebag still chairs the Judiciary Committee. (Freep)

In other local criminal justice news…
Remember when sensible shoe-wearing pain freak Candice Miller was mad that Kenyan-Communist-Nazi-incompetent-super villain Barack HUSSEIN Obama didn’t kick that underpants bomber in the balls? And remember how we were all going to die because some liberal Washington bureaucrat Mirandized this failed man-panties terrorist? Turns out Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is talking anyway. Problem is there’s no way to know if Abdulmutblahblahblah is telling the truth unless someone waterboards him until he shits himself. For freedom. Candice, strap him down while Liz Cheney fills the bucket. (DetNews)

Jennifer Granholm is going to say something
The Michigan Messenger thinks Jennifer Granholm should be “relevant” in her State of the State speech tonight. Why start now? This woman hasn’t fought for a single significant policy reform during her two terms in office. How naïve must one be to think her lame duck year will be different? Rochelle Riley, striking the same note, says Granholm’s speech shouldn’t be about Jennifer Granholm. Instead, maybe it should be about Rochelle. She’s lived in Michigan for 10 years and there’s lots of water here and things will get better. Eventually. Thanks, Rochelle. (Michigan Messenger, Freep)

It’s a fun Secretary of State nomination fight
What could be more fun? Besides anything else. Detroit Clerk Janice Winfrey isn’t the complete and total embarrassment like her predecessor Jackie Currie so she’s qualified. Plus she has this super idea to do something non-specific with the organ donor registry. There’s a compelling campaign issue right there. Meanwhile some Wayne State professor named Jocelyn Benson has this boring old “voting rights” platform. Janice Winfrey can have Jocelyn Benson’s organs when Winfrey pries them from Benson’s cold, dead cadaver. (MLive)