May
20

ROBERT “BOB” BOBB KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING, MORE COBO HALL FUN, AND THESE REDNECKS HAVE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH OPRAH OR SOMETHING

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Robert “Bob” Bobb will have a new name…hero
Many people thought it would be impossible to eliminate the Detroit Public School’s $300,000,000 deficit. Robert “Bob” Bobb knew otherwise. He figured he could balance the budget if he completely eliminated the graft and corruption and only spent money on this core service known as “academics.” Bobb will submit just such a balanced budget in June. His success comes on the backs of principals because, apparently, these educational leaders were raping the DPS treasury like it was Ned Beatty in Deliverance. Naturally, things will return to normal after Bobb finishes his work next year and next year. Then Reverend David Murray and the other retards on the School Board will be back in charge. (DetNews, Crains)

City Council to take a piss on Cobo deal, again
There is a plan in Lansing to revive the Cobo Hall regionalization plan. Council would have to approve it and it’s basically the same plan (the one that eliminates 5% of the city’s structural deficit without compromising a single city service) they rejected in a blaze idiocy earlier this year. And there’s a hitch, if Council again prefers off-key hymns to serious public policy, all that state money that would have been spent fixing up Cobo Hall will go to Brooks Patterson so the Auto Show can move to an expandeded Rock Financial Showplace. All of which begs the question, wasn’t Joann Watson going to get federal stimulus money for Cobo? Monica’s age inappropriate husband going to help. Ladies, where’s that stimulus money for our precious jewels? (Freep)

Granholm didn’t get any alone time with the president

Jennifer Granholm knows that if she could just spend some one-on-one time with President Obama that he’d totally give her the final rose pick her for the Supreme Court. She’s super smart and has a great personality. And she was on the Dating Game back in the day so she knows how these reality shows work. Granholm had to settle for meeting with Obama plus Deval Patrick and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold did co-star with Danny Devito in Twins. So that’s cool. Still, no alone time with the president. Don’t has a sad, Jenny. You’re still the governor and John Cherry is right by your side…making sure that sneeze you’ve had isn’t the swine flu. It could be the swine flu. Maybe you should resign as governor and take the next 18 months to recover. Just to be safe. John Cherry is very concerned about the swine flu. (DetNews)

Ypsilanti is a bunch of panty-waste commie rednecks
Someone is planning a little bluegrass festival and they named it Ypsitucky because bluegrass music is from Kentucky and the festival is in Ypsilanti. People used to call Ypsilanti “Ypsitucky” because backwoods southern folks moved there to work in the car factories. These backwoods southern folks and their descendants are really mad about the Ypsitucky festival. It hurts their feelings. They went to the Orwellian-named Ypsilanti Human Rights Commission to cry about free speech. Weren’t these human rights commissions created to protect regular people from these hot-natured hillbillies? You know, if Holocaust survivors could handle the Illinois Nazis in Skokie then a few clay-eating rednecks can co-exist with the Ypsitucky bluegrass festival. For fucks sake… (MLive)

Pontiac’s parking garage attraction smote by God himself
Long-ago some very important people decided Pontiac needed a big economic development project to save their small but once-vibrant downtown. What they came up with was the Phoenix Center which is actually just a parking garage that people used for Lions games at the Silverdome. There’s also a venue for second-run concerts up on the roof. Pretty much every band that makes you go: oh yeah I sort of remember these guys from like 10-15 years ago eventually plays the Phoenix Center before settling in on the Indian casino circuit. Apparently, God has heard enough from Collective Soul and En Vogue because he damaged the Phoenix Center with a thunderstorm. (Oakland Press)

Categories : State of the State

2 Comments

1

Back in the early 90s Amir was booking some sweet shit at Phoenix. We had a blast there. It was great to see bands not big enough to play outdoor venues, essentially have outside summer shows there. The Smashing Pumpkins in the Gish era. The Dead Milkmen. The Reverend Horton Heat. Goober and the Peas….and those early 89X fests where they booked amazing bands on the 2nd stage that they were too afraid to play on the radio: Superchunk, Brainiac, Unwound….

F*cking Ay those were great shows.

It was also possibly the worst place in the world (including the pre-remodel Shelter) to take a shit.

Also, sometime in the last 18 months Ypsi started taking itself *way* too seriously. It is basically everyone who was living in Ann Arbor but can’t afford to anymore….it is now in this way uncomfortable “all of the hipsters and self righteous, but none of the money” state. Plus they have a chip on their shoulders about Ann Arbor now like they all didn’t just come from there. I hope it passes. I like a lot of things about Ypsi.

2

Danny De Vito is quite old now but he is still one of the great actors of Hollywood`:.

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