Bernard The Killer = (Neil Bush + Billy Carter) * 1000, Sidney Crosby’s tears taste like fine wine, and state GOP throws I ChingBy
DUI lawyer Daniel Hajji has his hands full
Convicted felon and probation violator Kwame Kilpatrick apparently took lots of money from convicted felon Karl Kado. Bernard “Killer” Kilpatrick got even more of that delicious Cobo money from Kado. No wonder Kilpatrick is having a difficult time paying his restitution. No one gives him large envelopes full of cash anymore. Unless C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun’s heart strings are tugged. Hopefully this pending indictment won’t interfere with his probation violation. Or not selling Covisint products. Petey Karmanos should organize a sales conference with Alec Baldwin because, you know, that other shoe has dropped. And a third. And a fourth. (Freep)
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
That’s one USA! for every American goal in their 5-3 thumping of Canada and overrated girl Sidney Crosby. Red Wing and Dearborn native Brian Rafalski scored two of them and had an assist on a third. Also, here are 42 more USA!’s. One for each of East Lansing native Ryan Miller’s saves. Suck on this Canada. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! (2010 Olympics)
Debbie Dingell to wait for 2012
Thanks to his dark red scooter, 84-year-old John Dingell can visit the Grand Canyon run for re-election. I CAN SEE THE WORLD! That’s too bad because we’re looking forward to second wife Debbie’s run for office. It would be a tough primary against the good-hearted football kid and the lesbian. Hopefully Michigan Director of Elections Chris Thomas won’t throw away any ballots. Or sleep with his best friend’s ex-wife. We know how that turned out for Matthew Broderick. (Crains)
Michigan Republican Party reads Barack Obama’s mind
The Metro Times may want to profile Michigan GOP spokesgal Jennifer Hoff because she can bend political spoons like Uri Geller. Hoff says Obama will back Virg Bernero for Michigan governor. She can feel it in the sonic brainwaves that Obama transmits from the White House. It’s complicated but the important thing to know is that Obama is totally gay for Virg Bernero and that’s why he used Chicago-style politics to destroy the John Cherry’s gubernatorial dreams. Cherry, as every Republican will tell you, is the greatest Lt. Governor ever (now that he isn’t running for governor) but Obama hated him because Obama hates freedom. (MLive)
Jim Harbaugh, kind of lamers
Michigan boosters maybe should re-think running Rich Rodriguez out of Ann Arbor and replacing him with Jim Harbaugh. He may be a fine coach at Stanford but he better work on his Twitterings if he wants to be big time. Harbaugh twatted Friday that his “favorite band” Hootie should re-unite at a Stanford game. Ok, Hootie is a fine enough band. If it’s 1994-7, you’re wasted on Natty Light at a Sigma Chi kegger, and looking to bed some equally drunk co-ed. Charlie Steiner had a cameo in that one video with the Idiot Wind lyrics. That was cool. Then again, Chris Berman had a cameo in the same video. Gross. Harbaugh should subscribe to Vice so he knows what’s hip with the young people. (Deadspin)
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