Mar
23

Dave Bing is your new Andrew Jackson, some non-defamatory comments about the Kilpatricks, and Bart Stupak goes Judas

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Dave Bing launches new Trail of Tears
The State of the City takes over the Max tonight. It’s not like there’s a giant auditorium in the Coleman Young Building for something like this. Bing will probably announce his super evil plan to send all of Detroit’s poors to FEMA camps and hire private (suburban) contractors to beat them with sticks. Or something. We get all our news from Glenn Beck and Diane Bukowski. Crazy thought, have you ever seen Beck and Bukowski in the same room at the same time? Is it possible that Diane Bukowski is really Glenn Beck in mom jeans? We’re only asking questions. We just want our urban prairie back. (DetNews)

Freep: Mike Cox is a pandering slob
Mike “Urban Legend” Cox is hopping mad about this health care reform thing, so he’s suing the federal government. The teabaggers say it violates the tenth amendment. That might be true, except for this pesky thing called the 14th amendment. There’s also the matter of the interstate commerce clause. Why do these teabaggers hate the Constitution? It doesn’t matter because, while Cox wouldn’t waste taxpayer money with a full investigation into convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s shenanigans, he’s perfectly willing to blow it on a frivolous lawsuit. (Freep)

Bernard & Kwame Kilpatrick are cheap, says someone else
DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji is threatening us with a specious defamation suit, so we want to carefully report any news about Hajji or his client. According to Darrell Dawsey, Bernard and convicted felon Kwame’s alleged corruption is not only criminal but also cheap and vulgar. Again, Darrell Dawsey’s opinion. We’re just reporting what Mr. Dawsey wrote. Do we agree with him? Well, on advice of counsel, we respectfully assert our Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. And, to know one in particular, there’s this thing called “actual malice.” Ever hear of it, cockfucker? (Time, PDF of Hajji’s letter to Dyspathy)

No one lives in Wayne County
Everyone knows that no one should live in Detroit. Put three beers into your average suburban lunch bucket, and they’ll tell you that. Everything else they say is too awful to repeat. Apparently, all of Wayne County is now considered uninhabitable. Clearly people haven’t spent enough time in Brownstown Township, Ecorse, or the fabulous Edward McNamara Terminal at Detroit Metro Airport. If they had, they’d know that Wayne County is still the Paris of the Midwest. Even if George Wallace voters think Detroit went downhill after STRESS was disbanded. (DetNews)

Pacman Jones to keep local sports talk radio busy
The one-time cornerback turned professional scofflaw is in town to visit the Lions. Just to say hi. Titans coach Jeff Fisher doesn’t think Jim Schwartz will sign Pacman because Pacman can’t get through a full NFL season without shooting up a night club. Enjoy a full day of long time listener/first time callers telling Pat Caputo that Pacman Jones is a million times worse than Michael Vick and Hitler put together. Actually, that’s still better than listening to Caputo’s strained breathing all day long. (Freep)

Bart Stupak is the most important person in America
Baby-killer Bart Stupak is America’s “go to” Congressman on all things health care. His 530 Congressional colleagues spent Sunday waiting for Stupak’s quatrain on the health care bill. He rolled the magic bones or whatever and decided to vote for the bill. Now, Cheboygan County Drain Commissioner Dennis Lennox – who still hasn’t shut down the Cheboygan County Drain Commission, as promised – wants to run against Stupak. For Jesus. In addition to killing babies, Stupak took 30 pieces of silver. You know, like that other historical guy. (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

27 Comments

1

What a weak Cease and Desist letter. Uh oh, did I just defame them?

2

Wow. Hajji didn’t even wait for a real example of defamation to get his panties in a twist.

DANIEL HAJJI ONCE BLEW A GOAT WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD

is really more in the defamation department.

3

File not Found?

I smell a conspiracy.

4

Dear DUI lawyer,

You’re doing it wrong!

5
Woodward's Friend
March 23rd, 2010 at 11:31 am

@grandcircus: Apparently PDFCast.org won’t let me host a copy of an email sent to me. I’m no lawyer but I do believe that email in my inbox is my personal property. Crazy.

This document is removed due to terms and condition violation or copyright infringement.

Here is the text of Hajji’s “cease and desist” letter:

from Daniel Hajji
to dyspathy
date Sat, Mar 20, 2010 at 11:19 PM
subject Daniel Hajji, Criminal Defense Attorney

Blog Administrator/Owner of http://www.dyspathy.com,

We have read your blog of Daniel Hajji. You are to cease and desist your defamatory statements immediately.

All rights reserved.

Attorneys of Michigan, PLLC
30300 Northwestern Hwy.
Suite 262
Farmington Hills, MI 48334

The information in this transmission is intended only for the personal and confidential use of the designated recipient named above. It may be legally privileged and confidential. If you have received this information in error, please notify us by telephone immediately and send the original transmission to us by mail. Return postage is guaranteed. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. Thank you.

And P.S.: @Lansing Wonk, I believe your intent was to offer a hypothetical example of defamation but I want to make it absolutely clear that at no time have I ever suggested or implied that Daniel Hajji has ever engaged in sexual contact (oral or otherwise) with goats in the company of Dylan Klebold or any other mass murderer. I believe such allegations to be false.

6
Downriver's Friend
March 23rd, 2010 at 11:43 am

Daniel Hajji + Kansas basketball = epic FAIL x 2

7

Time to start up the Woodward’s Friend Civic Fund.

8

Hajji exemplifies the term “Douchebag.” Oops, did I defame him? My bad.

9

If Hajji actually threatened you he would be violating Rule of Professional Conduct, hence the “we” part. Also, the “all rights reserved” part is like the end credit of a movie, not appropriate in a “legal letter.” Say this guy fucks goats if you want, that “threat” is BS from a shitty lawyer’s shitty staff.

10

I believe you received said “cease and desist” e-mail e-roneously.

Per all of the Attorneys of Michigan instruction, you need to notify them with your phone (via text to the e-ddress provided, apparently as their phone number isn’t) that this is indeed the case.

I suggest finding a rotary phone to use if possible…

Oh, and apparently snail mail the e-mail back to them.

Lawyers are so confusing. No wonder you need a lawyer…

11

@Woodward’s Friend:

I believe Lansing Wonk’s assertion that “DANIEL HAJJI ONCE BLEW A GOAT WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD” is in the passive sense.

I.E., Daniel Hajji used Dylan Klebold’s mouth to blow a goat.

It is unclear whether Lansing Wonk’s website was the provider, tho.

And legally ambiguous at best.

12

From a “shitty lawyer’s shitty staff,” my ass. Look when it was sent: Sat, Mar 20, 2010 at 11:19 PM. Me thinks Mr. Hajii was up late (continuing his St. Patrick’s day celebration) googling himself and hence his ‘outrage.’ This is just a continuation of his legal prowess. NOT!

13
Woodward's Friend
March 23rd, 2010 at 12:48 pm

For the record, I wish to point out that Dyspathy can neither confirm nor deny that Mr. Hajji was “up late (continuing his St. Patrick’s day celebration)” when he read my “blog of Daniel Hajji.” For all we know, Daniel Hajji doesn’t celebrate St. Patrick’s day at all.

14

You got an Email? From a Google account? I’d be all quivery if I were you.

15

Oh sweet Jesus. He sent you this as an EMAIL? To, I’m assuming, your email link from the blog? To “Woodward’s Friend”? Also no lawyer, but I don’t believe that’s legally binding. And I am absolutely sure you can’t sue a secret identity. Promise if he does you show up in court in a cape and mask.

16

“D.M. says:
March 20th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
You are to cease and desist the defamatory remarks against Daniel Hajji. Consider this as your final notice.”

Wow, such professionalism. I am positively astounded…and speechless, for the moment.

17

You should send them back an email telling them to cease and desist their emails to you immediately.

18

attorneysofmichigan@gmail.com is awesome. someone more clever than I am should come up with some gmail accounts we should all snap up right now. is defamersofdanielhajji@gmail.com taken?

19

@Woodward’s Friend: Oh, of course. At no time did you ever say or imply that

DANIEL HAJJI ONCE BLEW A GOAT WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD.

The purely counterfactual statement of

DANIEL HAJJI ONCE BLEW A GOAT WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD

is only offered as a very crude, but textbook, definition of what might be construed as defamation. As for whether this hypothetical is written in the active or passive tense, well, sometimes we must savor life’s little mysteries.

20

Sheesh, I wish Hajji would just step away from the Legal Zoom.com software…

21

Julie – I think Hajji’s practice is a staff of one. Good catch.

22

Reputationdr released another missive:

As you know, former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is required by law to pay restitution to the City of Detroit based on 30% of his current income, benefits and gifts received. Sadly, we are back in court tomorrow to put an end to the prosecutor’s goal to increase his restitution payments based on rumors and innuendo and not facts. We feel confident the facts will speak for themselves tomorrow.

It is ironic these court issue continues to be top news stories in Detroit as the new Mayor gives his State of the City address. Kwame Kilpatrick is the former Mayor and not the current Mayor. External to his court problems, former Mayor Kilpatrick’s accomplishments for the City of Detroit speak for themselves, including new hotels, new private and public sector jobs, a new Riverfront, national and local special events in a then vibrant downtown Detroit, new parks and recreation centers, new casinos bringing valuable revenue to the City, cleaner streets and much more!

Why is former Mayor Kilpatrick a scapegoat for all?

I hope he buys his client a new shirt so we are not confused tomorrow.

23
Downriver's Friend
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:25 pm

The following is an example of passive voice:

A GOAT WAS ONCE BLOWN BY DANIEL HAJJI WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD.

The previous sentence was offered as a grammar lesson. It is in no way, shape, or form intended to imply that

A GOAT WAS ONCE BLOWN BY DANIEL HAJJI WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD.

Nor should anyone infer from the above example that

A GOAT WAS ONCE BLOWN BY DANIEL HAJJI WITH DYLAN KLEBOLD

Because it’s just not true. Probably.

24

I’m pretty sure a false accusation of defamation is defamatory.

25

We have read your blog of a goat. You are to cease and desist your defamatory statements immediately.

Sincerely,

B. G. Gruff, Esq.

26

On a different topic, Stupak better consider some security when his good buddies the Tea Baggers come to visit. Traitors are worse than Crypto-Islaminazis and he doesn’t have Secret Service protection.

27

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