Pistols at dawn, or legal arguments in the room where Mike Cox interviewed convicted felon Kwame KilpatrickBy
Back in olden times, political leaders settled vitriolic debates with an old-fashioned duel. Just like our Founding Fathers intended. When famous political hangers-on Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr finally had enough of each other in 1805, they dueled. To the death. With pistols. At dawn. Though Hamilton lost, he received a place on the $10 bill as a consolation prize. If people remember Aaron Burr at all, it’s because he killed Hamilton. Or his plot to sabotage Thomas Jefferson’s election. Either way, Aaron Burr sucks balls.
The early 19th century was a simpler time, when real ‘Mericans could stroll through a New York City free of Jews, hipsters, or freedmen. Also, duel to their heart’s content. Bart Stupak wouldn’t kill all those babies if…too soon? Sadly, dueling eventually fell out of favor. Because of filthy Papist immigrants, probably. Zell Miller’s noble efforts to revive the custom tragically never gained traction.
Finally, things are changing. Michigan Democratic Party Chairman Mark Brewer is taking his country back. Brewer wants to “debate” Mike Cox about the Constitution and the health care law. It’s kind of like a modern duel, but with talking instead of shooting. This is Obama’s America now, so you have to take what you can get.
But don’t confuse Brewer’s word duel challenge with a lack of manly courage. Brewer is fighting mad. In his press release challenging the Attorney General to this “debate,” Brewer attacked Cox’s taxpayer-funded gym and “the room where he interviewed Kwame Kilpatrick.” Oh snap. Does that mean Brewer won’t be attending the Congressmother’s fundraisers.
Brewer’s announcement isn’t without some controversy. Traditionally, a gentleman of good breeding personally issues a dueling challenge. Brewer used an impersonal press release. He probably misplaced Cox’s phone number. If that’s the case then this breach of etiquette is understandable. As Tamara Greene’s lawyers will tell you, the Attorney General’s office is no help tracking down Cox’s phone information. At the very least, it would be a most unmanly reason for Cox to avoid his gentlemanly obligation to accept this gauntlet thrown upon his feet. (MDP)
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