Mar
29

The revolution was already televised on HBO’s The Wire, Matty Moroun is being oppressed, and MSU lifts the weary spirits of lazy sports writers

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Gang Squad attacks innocents, which is good
Instead of arresting criminals, the DPD Gang Squad is busy attacking civilians in the middle of the day for kicks or whatever. We’ve all seen Serpico. What’s going on here should be obvious. This police brutality is actually a good thing because, according the Michigan Citizen, anti-gang policing is really the running dog lackeys of capitalist oppression’s tool to silence revolutionaries. While unenlightened “sheeple” may see streets gangs as cheap thugs, drug dealers, and sociopaths, the politically aware understand that gangs are exactly like the Black Panthers or Malcolm X in every way. It’s better that the gang squad assaults innocent people instead of anti-imperialist soldiers like YBI. (DetNews, Michigan Citizen)

Robert “Bob” Bobb’s continues assaults on DPS traditions
In the grand old days of local control, DPS was committed to empowering local entrepreneurs. People like DPS Chief of Risk Management Stephen Hill, insurance executive Lawrence Long, and art gallery owner Sherry Washington lived the American dream thanks to DPS contracts. Robert Bobb and his jack-booted, interloping “educators” are ruining the DPS as an economic empowerment engine for the corrupt and connected. It’s all about teaching the children with this wet blanket. Like Earl Warren, Bobb doesn’t respect local customs in the public schools. (Freep)

New bridge to destroy free trade, America
C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun is very concerned about the integrity of the North American Free Trade Agreement. Specifically, he wants to enforce the NAFTA clause that protects Moroun businesses from competition. Canada is building this new highway, and it won’t connect to the Ambassador Bridge. In fact, it might even make the proposed DRIC bridge more convenient. NAFTA clearly says that Canada must consult Moroun before building any road. We have to invade Canada right now. Otherwise, this “Windsor-Essex Parkway” will be just like Munich all over again. (Crains)

Adrian parties like it’s 1993
Kids, meet your new Branch Davidians! They live in Adrian and go by the name Hutaree. Adrian seems like as good a place as any to hunker down, stock-pile weapons, and wait for the coming battle with the Antichrist. And you totally know these Hutaree cats are the real deal and Christ-centered because the Rothschild/Bilderberg dupe Michigan Militia says Hutaree is “too extreme.” Finally, someone is serious about kicking ass and destroying the New World Order that lives in the minds of sexless basement dwellers. (DetNews)

Oh, this again
Michigan State overcame the odds of a 5th seed and key injuries to make it to the Final Four. It’s not unlike how Michigan’s economy will overcome the odds and rebound. Bonus points for mixing in basketball lingo. The Spartans unlikely run to the Final Four will lift this entire city’s weary spirits and help us overcome our daily struggles. Team of destiny! Really? Even ESPN must be tired of this meme by now. Let’s add a new wrinkle. Can we find some unemployed autoworker’s crippled kid who totally loves Michigan State basketball? This rust belt Tiny Tim will make one hell of a soft focus feature. (Freep)

Categories : State of the State

8 Comments

1

Sherry Washington and the Congressmother are office neighbors. I wonder if the whole building was simply rewired by the FBI. Maybe Bagley Optical is the new Flowers By Irene.

2
hut-one, hut-two, hut-aree
March 29th, 2010 at 9:56 am

the only “final four” we need to worry about are named death, war, famine and pestilence! surely, dick vitale is the beast of prophecy!

3

MSU will lift up someone’s economy…I need to go order myself another Final Four t-shirt online. I wonder if I can get one made from organic cotton grown on an urban farm in Detroit, or if I’ll have to settle for another made in china one like last year’s.

4

Michigan Agricultural College should have that shit down by now.

5

I’m with Hut-1-2-‘ree: How, indeed, could Dyspathy have failed to include the Snuggie-wearing Final Four?
How could you have given more press to Tom Izzo than Tommy Uzi?

6

Oh, damn it! I should read the whole post before posting. Never mind.

7

I’m glad Bobb is going after the big fish, although this story has been out there since 2006. For a while there I thought I was going to have to start a Lunch Lady Legal Defense Fund. The DFT has always said that the contracts are where the real thieves make their money. Many a Palmer Woods home and Riverside condo has been bought by respectable Detroiters with shady DPS contracts. Time to name names, preferably in writing on indictments.

Why is Obama’s illegitimate government violating the Constitutional Rights of the Hutarees ? They were only practicing their (ONE TRUE) religion by making a joyful noise unto the Lord. They chose automatic weapons and pipe bombs, but the Bible doesn’t specify how to make that Holy Noise, so they improvised. What’s next? Arresting Catholic congregations for their off-key hymns?

8

Oh yeah, the gang squad. I don’t know the facts and I’m neither defending nor attacking them. I do know that when you are dropped into an increasingly hopeless and violent situation, there is real possibility that you will become increasingly violent. I don’t know how Police forces deal with this fact, but I’m sure the better ones have learned how to handle it.

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