Apr
27

Frank Taylor lifts Detroit in bankruptcy, NBC ignores Horace, and Mike Cox wants the right allocations

By


Worst entrepreneur ever
Terrible restaurateur Frank Taylor has failed, again. First Seldom Profitable Blues was shuttered, and now the Breakfast House and Detroit Fish Company are closing. That Harmonie Park/Paradise Valley project is really going like gangbusters. Great work, Downtown Development Authority. The economic impact of all the bankruptcy lawyers winding down Taylor’s operations is a huge boon to the downtown economy. It’s like the Super Bowl of litigation. Even if the DDA never gets repaid for the Detroit Fish Market venture, let’s hope they be there for Taylor when he has another lousy plan for a restaurant. (Crains, Hot Fudge Detroit)

Economy won’t suck sooner than expected
Michigan’s economy is finally running out of gas! By the end of the year, our economic jalopy will pull over on the road to ruin and stall out. Things will kind of level off, and maybe 2011 won’t suck. Even if things may not be good, this is progress. Unemployment will stabilize below 12.5% thanks to 3% economic growth. If things slowly and surely keep moving in that direction, in about five years from now…never mind. (Freep)

NBC not doing anything different
The right Reverend Horace Sheffield (praised be His name) took the dime tour at NBC’s headquarters. Then he met with a dozen middle managers. They made a vague suggestion that maybe they’ll do some kind of Detroit town hall thing between now and the end times. Assuming they think it’ll make for good ratings. But the flannel suits are standing behind Chris Hansen’s very special episode from Detroit. In other words, Horace returned to Detroit with his dick in his hand and nothing else. (DetNews)

Mike Cox has a short skirt and a long jacket

Mike “Tiny” Cox doesn’t have a mind like a diamond. His Kwame investigation was fast, but it wasn’t thorough. Still, his shoes cut and his eyes burn like cigarettes. He gets up early and stays up late. When he tours the facility, he’s always picking up slack. He’s also promising uninterrupted prosperity because, if you elect him governor, he’ll cut through red tape. Seriously. Then maybe he can find those phone records. Rick Snyder should really consider trading his MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron. (Mikecox2010.com)

44% of Freep.com readers are repugnant troglodytes
The Free Press’ Mark W. Smith did this little piece about these seditious slobs praying for President Obama’s death on Facebook. Just as Jesus taught. Smith’s straightforward story includes a “what do you think?” interactive poll. 44% of Freep.com readers are totally cool with a bunch of douchebags passive aggressively cheering for the President’s death. The 44% number is obviously unscientific, but we’re pretty sure science proves these death-to-Obama people are subhuman degenerates. Or it should, anyway. (Freep)

Categories : State of the State

13 Comments

1

Mayor Bing can give Frank Taylor a dollar job at CAYMC. Planning & Development, perhaps?

Aw, shucks! Horace Sheffield III (pbHn) took little Mary on a field trip to the Big Apple. Now she has some political experience to note on her campaign page.

And the faithful everywhere seem to like that “favorite” prayer:
http://wcbstv.com/local/governor.christie.union.2.1621917.html

2

When will one of the lazy ass “LAMESTREAM MEDIA” (hat tip to the tea baggers) around here, and by that I mean the News or Free Press or even Crains, sum up the amount of public funds (that’s OUR MONEY – h/t to t-bag) that have been blown on Frank Taylor by the DEGC and use it as an argument to oust George “I’m sorry Miss” Jackson? I have a job, I don’t have time.

3

Hell, Mike Cox is so emasculated he doesn’t even deserve the names Kitty OR Karen.

4
One more idiot with an opinion and a keyboard
April 27th, 2010 at 9:51 am

Every year, some local economist who’s name is not worth remembering comes out and says the economy will start to rebound next year or the year after. And every year the economic suck continues, and nothing changes. For the last decade. Yet, we never hear any sort of context of about the accuracy of these economists’ previous forecasts. Nor do we hear any sort of plan or even ideas on how to fix the economic mess. That’s Pure Michigan. The state that loves Detroit so much it decided to become it.

5
Downriver's Friend
April 27th, 2010 at 9:59 am

Mike Cox will save us from the Asian carp. Probably. You know, if the Supreme Court ever stops ignoring him. Because it’s totally the federal government’s job to shut down a vital shipping lock near a thriving city like Chicago (i.e. not Detroit) just to protect the Great Lakes from an invasive species that may or may not irreparably damage our fishing industry, which somehow managed to survive the sea lamprey and the zebra mussel.

Mike Cox realizes that protecting us from an imaginary fish threat is FAR more important to ‘Merican freedom and the sanctity of marriage than a real threat such as an unsustainable health insurance system that needs reform.

6
Downriver's Friend
April 27th, 2010 at 10:00 am

BTW…maybe we should let Frank TURNER take a stab at a restaurant. Any idea what the theme would be?

7

Most “concept” restaurants have a lifespan about as long as the average cell phone contract, even in boom-times. Makes you wonder why the DEGC plowed as much money as they did into such long odds, especially when they were all owned by one guy.

8

The saddest part is the unemployment number isn’t actually recovering. People still aren’t finding work, at least not in my industry…but now their unemployment is running out so they aren’t counted! Hold on to your hats, it’s gonna be a long and bumpy ride. Yippee! What a great feeling to graduate in the midst of all this opportunity and optimism with nothing but a mortgage worth of student loans on your back and smile.

9

Is Mitch Albom writing campaign copy for Mike Cox?

I bet we could gar-UN-tee NBC running a televised Deetroit town hall meeting if we gar-UN-tee gunplay, a shouting match, or parts of the audience breaking into hymns awkwardly.

I see Downriver’s Friend and I are thinking along the same lines…I was wondering if Frank Taylor’s star was taking Frank Turner’s oppo-ballistic arc and end up in the ministocracy (maybe opening a restaurant serving the body and blood of Christ?)

10

Mike Cox, he wrecked.

11

“That’s Pure Michigan. The state that loves Detroit so much it decided to become it.”

Definately header material.

12

I’ll only watch the televised town hall meeting if the producers promise flying fruit.

That infomercial will be surely be another street corner on which the Rev. Horace [As White As Obama] Sheffield III (pbHN) will again pimp his daughter. Poor woman.

I feel bad for the kid, Mary, since this is the second time her dad is helping her lose an election.
Who knows? Maybe she’ll pull her own this time around and not have to rely on 45% of her campaign financing coming from relatives.

Maybe Sheff III and company can do some “protestations” of Moroun’s company and get his daughter some BridgeBucks for her campaign?

13

you can appoint me as head of the DEGC. Basically I’m qualified because I am not George Jackson.

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