Felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s website is an HTML brown note UPDATE: now with more delicious Mike Paul FAIL!By
Poor, put-upon convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick didn’t think he actually had to fulfill his legal obligation to make restitution. He’s a little short but evil Judge Groner and eviler Kym Worthy don’t care. Because of bloodlust. That’s why comically awful crisis management PR flack Mike Paul launched a very special website. So you can help Kwame.
Be like C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun, Peter Karmanos, Dan Gilbert, Roger Penske, Jim Nicholson, and the right Reverend Horace Sheffield (praised be His name). Give Kwame some monies. That way Kilpatrick can pay his restitution without sacrificing the delicious Chik-fil-a sandwiches he deserves. Besides, it’s not just restitution that needs paying. DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji’s incoherent legal briefs don’t come cheap. Now more than ever, Detroit must cherish this precious jewel of unintentional comedy.
Friendsofkwame.com is about more than just fund raising. You can also send him a message. With text. Dyspathy told America’s favorite failed software salesman: “I’m sure you are safe and sound in TX. I’m going to bed. Dream about me, I’11 be dreaming about you. Love you B. I hope you were singing that last R. Kelly song to me. LOL. I definitely like that one. Have a good workout too,” You should send your own special greeting to our beloved former mayor. Everyone should. (Friends of Kwame)
UPDATE: Dyspathy tipster [REDACTED] emailed to say that Friendsofkwame.com is down. Sure enough, it is down. The site re-directs to this Twitter URL: http://twitter.com/kwameandfamily/index.asp and a message this message: “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!” Mike Paul, ladies and gentleman. We don’t call him a comically awful crisis management PR flack for nothing, folks. So good.
UPDATE 2: The Detroit News reports that Mike Paul claims hackers are responsible Kwame’s terrible site. Let’s go ahead and call bullshit right now. For all we know they manufactured this hacking to make convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick look like a victim.
But let’s ignore Team Kilpatrick’s massive credibility issues and assume the site was legitimately hacked. It begs the question why Mike Paul didn’t ensure the site had adequate security. Given the controversy surrounding all things Kilpatrick, a high-profile flack like Paul should’ve known to make security a top priority. This is 2010 after all. The internet isn’t a some bizarre novelty anymore.
So there are your options. Either Mike Paul is cooking a false controversy for his convicted perjurer client or he’s just a third-rate PR flunky unable to launch a simple website. You make the call! (DetNews)