May
05

Felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s website is an HTML brown note UPDATE: now with more delicious Mike Paul FAIL!

By Woodward's Friend


Poor, put-upon convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick didn’t think he actually had to fulfill his legal obligation to make restitution. He’s a little short but evil Judge Groner and eviler Kym Worthy don’t care. Because of bloodlust. That’s why comically awful crisis management PR flack Mike Paul launched a very special website. So you can help Kwame.

Be like C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun, Peter Karmanos, Dan Gilbert, Roger Penske, Jim Nicholson, and the right Reverend Horace Sheffield (praised be His name). Give Kwame some monies. That way Kilpatrick can pay his restitution without sacrificing the delicious Chik-fil-a sandwiches he deserves. Besides, it’s not just restitution that needs paying. DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji’s incoherent legal briefs don’t come cheap. Now more than ever, Detroit must cherish this precious jewel of unintentional comedy.

Friendsofkwame.com is about more than just fund raising. You can also send him a message. With text. Dyspathy told America’s favorite failed software salesman: “I’m sure you are safe and sound in TX. I’m going to bed. Dream about me, I’11 be dreaming about you. Love you B. I hope you were singing that last R. Kelly song to me. LOL. I definitely like that one. Have a good workout too,” You should send your own special greeting to our beloved former mayor. Everyone should. (Friends of Kwame)

UPDATE: Dyspathy tipster [REDACTED] emailed to say that Friendsofkwame.com is down. Sure enough, it is down. The site re-directs to this Twitter URL: http://twitter.com/kwameandfamily/index.asp and a message this message: “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!” Mike Paul, ladies and gentleman. We don’t call him a comically awful crisis management PR flack for nothing, folks. So good.

UPDATE 2: The Detroit News reports that Mike Paul claims hackers are responsible Kwame’s terrible site. Let’s go ahead and call bullshit right now. For all we know they manufactured this hacking to make convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick look like a victim.

But let’s ignore Team Kilpatrick’s massive credibility issues and assume the site was legitimately hacked. It begs the question why Mike Paul didn’t ensure the site had adequate security. Given the controversy surrounding all things Kilpatrick, a high-profile flack like Paul should’ve known to make security a top priority. This is 2010 after all. The internet isn’t a some bizarre novelty anymore.

So there are your options. Either Mike Paul is cooking a false controversy for his convicted perjurer client or he’s just a third-rate PR flunky unable to launch a simple website. You make the call! (DetNews)


Categories : Big Important News

23 Comments

1

I’m ever so much loving your previous idea of the 10-cent donations. I’m seriously trying to get this going among my various FB friends.

2
Camille Desmoulins
May 5th, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Do you get anything for donating, like you do with PBS? Maybe a tote bag? Or some Omaha steaks?

3

FOK.com is kind of fun.

4

Christ, I just had a dial-up modem flashback! Either it’s getting tons of traffic right now, or they’ve got the site hosted on a 25 year old 486/66.

Gave it about a minute to load and then said to hell with it.

5
Downriver's Friend
May 5th, 2010 at 2:14 pm

He couldn’t wait a couple of days. He had to try to take the spotlight away from Ernie. Who was everything Kwame is not. Fuck you, Kwame. Fuck your whole useless fucking family, too.

6
Downriver's Friend
May 5th, 2010 at 2:14 pm

And pay your goddamn restitution you worthless fucking deadbeat.

7

Amen and where’s the Tylenol, DF?

8

On the contrary DF, launching today buried the story beneath the Ernie coverage. The backlash is diminished while Paul spreads the word to the faithful. Based on the site’s current load time, it doesn’t look like the plan worked.

10

We need to cut the guy some slack on the Chick-Fil-A fetish. Those things are addictive. If I’ve in the South, I’d fill out the Big K’s shiny suits thanks to those oil drenched goodies. Of, and we need to provide for his boys’ education.

I do hope they get the site up again. I’d love to leave Hizzoner a little note.

11
Guiness' Friend
May 5th, 2010 at 5:35 pm

The one thing I have never criticized Kwame for is Chick-Fil-A. That stuff is the crack of fast foods.

12

ok, now you guys are making me hungry with all the Chick-Fil-A talk!

13

Chik-fil-a are delicious but Kwame spending $400 on Chik-fil-a is a little like paying the cable bill before the water bill. He can have all the Chik-fil-a he wants after Detroit gets the God damn million dollars. The end.

14

The site is back up. And yes, there’s a place to leave your comment (for free, even). The four comments that are there now are two syrupy pairs of word-for-word duplicates.

15

Funny, but while the comments are duplicates, the “writers” all have different names. LOL

16

Whoops, one of the comments just was apparently edited, so it looks like someone’s still polishing the turd.

17

KK has no excuse not to pay, what with the Chick-fil-A giveaway: getspicychicken.com

18

I’m still not seeing the comment I left this morning but the rest of the site seems to be working, all except for the contributions button which links to FATAL ERROR. Tell me about it.

19

Geez, what’s with his wife? He had an affair with the deputy Mayor, then a stripper dies at his house? Oh yeah, like I’m going to believe him that it wasn’t his fault, or there was never a stripper at my house deal. Then to top it off, let’s start a web site that takes hard earned money from unsuspecting people and let’s give it to a “family man”. Let’s drop you over Pakistan and let the Taliban deal with you!!!!

20

I love dressing up for my husband. Dressing up in my sexy lingerie always makes me feel sexy and really turns my husband on. Then he eats my poop. Unfortunately, we tend to not get much sleep when I play dress up. :-)

22

Interesting article man Thanks

23

i used to do fund raising for african communities and it was a great job to help others ~

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