Michigan is teabagger heaven, around here Mike Cox plays it by the book, and O Street overwhelmed by bench excitementBy
Low taxes fuel Michigan Miracle turnaround
Thanks to bold ideas from our brave elected officials, Michigan is the economic model for the nation. Michigan used to have the nation’s 16th highest personal tax burden, but now we’re 30th. Our corporate citizens also saw their taxes drop. We used to have the 12th highest corporate tax burden. Michigan is currently 37. Businesses and highly educated, marketable individuals are flocking to Michigan because of low taxes. Our economy avoided the 49-state recession happening everywhere else. Thank you teabagger Jennifer Granholm! (MLive)
All gubernatorial candidates are awful
Republican primary voters want the candidate with the bloodiest knuckles. From dragging. Democrats will choose between secret Muslim Republican Andy Dillon and Virg “deh tuk r jibs” Bernero. Also, this competent – if super-duper liberal – Alma Wheeler Smith lady that no one cares about. In related news, Rick Snyder says vote for him because he’s a businessman and if you aren’t a businessman then you’re an idiot. Really, that’s what his new ad says. Dentists, lawyers, and construction workers are all fucking retards (apologies to Trig). Vote Rick Michigan! (Freep, Two Guys Named Joe, Freep)
Mike Cox is a 1970’s cop film archetype
You know when Harry Callahan, or a private eye like Shaft or Rockford, is about to crack the case that police department desk jockey is all you’re out of control? Mike “Tiny” Cox is that bureaucratic archetype. He’s gotta to answer to mayor and he’s fed up the State Police’s renegade ways. First there was the whole Strawberry/Gary Brown thing and now there’s this Bloomfield voter fraud investigation. The taxpayers can’t afford all these crazy investigations so he shut them down. By the book. And don’t push him or he’ll transfer you to a desk in parking violations! (Joel on the Road)
O Street is the new American minstrel show
Oneita Jackson was super excited about the new Bagley pedestrian bridge – our standards are really low if a pedestrian bridge is exciting – so she wrote her name on the overpass’ bench. It’s the kind of behavior one expects from a 12-year-old. Guess who has two thumbs and can’t blog about Red Wings fans pissing in alleys or teenagers littering ever again? O Street! In the meantime, her inane little stunt is fodder for comment section klaverns because of all of their tax money wasted on “those people.” Way to entertain the evolution-impaired Oneita. They really burned through the bandwidth in Howell this weekend. (Freep, DetNews)
Inside baseball political slap fight!
A Sunday morning installment of Off The Record is the single greatest hangover cure ever. The panel speaks in low voices and Skubick’s trademark white tie on white shirt look is soothing on the eyes. Plus you get to learn awesome stuff like how Saul Anuzis and Chuck Yob are fighting like Rihanna and Chris Brown. In other words, two people you’ve never heard of (and probably wouldn’t like in person) are slap fighting over something that has no effect on your life. Yay Lansing! (WKAR)
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