May
27

State House drinks Matty Moroun’s tears like lemonade, other places that are awful, and DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji takes the lead

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State House Democrats crush Matty Moroun’s dreams, destroy America
Aged billionaire C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun is a simple businessman with a modest dream. To build a new bridge to Canada next to the one he already owns. Nefarious state House Democrats support the rival DRIC plan. They used a fancy legislative maneuver known as a “roll call vote” to send Moroun to the back of the bus. Oh my God, Matty Moroun is exactly like Rosa Parks in every way! Moroun had some Democratic friends, i.e. LaRouchite LaMar Lemmons. Obviously, DRIC is a plot by Queen Elizabeth to advance the global drug trade which she totally controls. Only Matty Moroun, LaMar Lemmons, and Lyndon LaRouche are brave enough to stop it. Also the Republicans. (Freep)

Google is responsible for everything, says Google
All those little Google ads on every website in the universe generated $903,000,000,000 for Michigan businesses. That is to say state firms advertising on Google collectively made $903,000,000,000. How much of that is the result of Google? Who knows? We only read those ads when we check our Gmail spam folder. Mmm…spam fajitas. That said, since Google is probably data mining our wifi network and basically reading this as we type it, let’s just credit Google with every last dollar of Michigan’s economic activity. Please don’t take us from our beds and torture us in the Googleplex’s private Abu Ghraib. (Crains)

Michelle Obama is so much better than us
The First Lady encouraged local kids to be…well…better than local adults. She brought Magic Johnson and Spike Lee with her. That’s cool. Then a bunch of local politicos started talking. They look that much drearier next to actual star power. John Conyers said “you never stop learning, even when you’re out of school.” For instance, though he’s been out of school for 60 years, Conyers only recently learned his wife is a felonious sociopath with tenuous grasp on reality. Then Jennifer Granholm said something. Probably in that breathless condescending tone of voice she uses when she wants to relate to regular people. And, for no good reason, failed pizza baroness Denise Ilitch also spoke. (Freep)

Bankruptcy happens all the time in other cities
You elitists should stop picking on Detroit for its unsustainable budget deficits. Let’s have, as the right Reverend Horace Sheffield (praised be His name) would say, some balance. A bunch of other cities are also teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. Cut Detroit some slack. Unlike those other cities, Detroit actually shrunk its deficit with magically oxymoronic “budget stabilization” bonds. Maybe Los Angeles can follow the Detroit model, and paper over their nearly half-trillion dollar deficit with the municipal equivalent of payday loans. Detroit never gets credit for our innovative spirit. (Crains)

It’s DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji’s big break
The competent Michael Schwartz is leaving Team Kilpatrick to become general counsel for The Word Network. Now some people may find this suspicious. Why are religious broadcasters hiring a criminal defense attorney as general counsel? More suspicious considering, Team Kilpatrick prosperity prot T.D. Jakes is part of The Word Network. However, this makes perfect sense. The Word Network’s roster includes noted shysters Peter Popoff, Kenneth Copeland, and Joyce Meyer. They probably need a good criminal lawyer on the payroll. Bonus for us, DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji will be convicted incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s lead counsel. That appeal will re-define unintentional comedy. (DetNews)

Categories : State of the State

23 Comments

1

Matty can still build the bridge he has already started. The only problem is he does not have a single permit, but that has never stopped him. “Permits, we don’t need no stinking permits.”

2

Looks like we are going to continue to have Mike Paul to kick around.

3

Magic Johnson beat AIDS which is pretty sweet. Plus, he got to bang out a lot of hos before it fell out of fashion. Sorry, Tiger and Kwame. He also has a statue at MSU, but for some reason it represents him well past his playing weight. Dunno who GREENlighted that one.

All those Detroit spending cuts should bring the Tea partyers to town here in a frenzy. Isn’t that what they want?

SARAH FOR MAYOR!

4

Mike Paul makes all our lives richer with his PR FAIL antics. I hope he continues refusing to answer questions about the basis of KK’s appeal. That’s public relations best practices right there.

5

I don’t see why a man who can’t maintain buildings he owns, uses thugs to intimidate the public and patrol public parks, shouldn’t completely own the largest border crossing with Canada. Makes perfect sense, and anyone who disagrees is a communist.

6

Hopefully “Super Michigan Lawyer” re-ups with Team Kilpatrick as well. That pairing would be comedic gold. They could be the next Martain and Lewis. Which one would play the part of the lush?

7

Looks like Hajji is in the process of updating his web site to look a little more flash. He must think he is ready for prime-time. Most of the bottons don’t work, but hey. I noticed that one of his specialties is “Violation of Probation.”

http://supermichiganlawyer.com/

8

I love this button:

It links to Hajji’s DUI page. Makes sense. Most wife beaters are drunks, and they probably go driving after smacking that special gal around.

9

Sorry WF, but given that the Larouchie article is from 2004 and talks about him being out of the Legislature, one of the nine other LaMar Lemmonses is likely the Communazicialist. The one currently in the Legislature would just be a random stooge bought off by Maroun.

10

I’ve stopped trying to keep the various LaMar Lemmonses separate. Considering they campaign as though they are interchangeable, I’m perfectly comfortable assuming that if one Lamar Lemmons is a LaRouchian then all Lamar Lemmonses are LaRouchians.

12

That bizarre, clown-like makeup on the “Domestic Violence” woman is somehow more unsettling than if the makeup artist tried to imitate an actual bruise.

13

The LaMar Lemmons family is just keeping up the tradition of the Adam Clayton Powell family.

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/13/if-your-name-is-powell-take-a-number/

14

A Dubs, words can not even begin to express the profound loss this entire metro Detroit community, nay, family is feeling right now at the departure of Daniel Hajji from incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s beloved legal team. It’s like a little piece of our innocence has died.

15

The real tragedy is seeing the disappointment on the faces the justices at Michigan Court of Appeals who were anticipating another “grossly noncompliant and inappropriate” pleading from Hajji.

16

As privately owned roads and bridges were the orignal intent of the Founding Fathers, I have stand up for Moroun’s right, nay his duty, to build his new bridge. But I have to say I’m a little uncomfortable about his plans to use slave labor.

17

I’m with Manny. The last thing we want is another stinking MDOT boondoggle, complete with insane (and Union driven) “resurfacing/repaving” outlays every three years, as well as the cost of chasing Oneita Jackson around to prevent her from drawing on the thing with her Sharpie. The state can’t afford it, and neither can I, even if it’s for the chillun’.

Manny is putting his money where his mouth is, and he obviously knows how to run a bridge, so I say let him have at it.

18

And to add, the MDOT is supposed to be securing funding for the magical and uber-moderne “light rail” project up Woodward and between Detroit and A2 so all the Shiny Happy People in the region to conveniently travel through the ghetto and/or go to a UofM football game.

Wait.. they already secured a bunch of cash for a “study”… and after spending it all, they said it wasn’t enough!

Go figure.

19

Maybe it could have read “State House Drink’s Matty Moroun’s Tears Like Lamar Lemmonade” ?

I’m confused. Which of the Lamar Lemmonses is running for State Senate against Joel Loving (praised be His deviant dragons)?

20

I keep reading that the Ambassador Bridge is the “most efficient” or “best run” or “sexiest” border crossing. Based upon what? Just ‘cuz Matty sez so? Similarly, L. Ron Hubbard up above claims that Maroun “obviously” knows how to run a bridge. Methinks he “obviously” knows how to run a bridge that is poorly maintained, badly in need of resurfacing and includes toll plazas located on land stolen from the people of the City of Detroit. Not to mention that construction of the proposed fantasy bridge that has no permits and will never receive approval from Canada would also require land stolen from the people of the City of Detroit.

And what about the miraculous conversion by Maroun of large swaths of the Sandwich neighborhood into the east side of Detroit? I know, he just wants to bring urban farming to Windsor.

Oh yeah, and the fact that it would be financed by the sale of tax exempt bonds. That is a taxpayer subsidized loan – quite different from Maxwell spending his own money to build it.

All the while, as Maroun’s bullshit arguments against the DRIC fill the airwaves, heavy trucks continue to rumble day and night through the streets of SW Detroit because Matty is too good to fulfill his end of the Gateway contract. Of course, this will require yet another MDOT boondoggle to fix all the damage to Fort Street, Rosa Parks, W. Grand Boulevard, Trumbull, etc. caused thereby. Why are none of the “MDOT is wastin’ my tax money” crowd complaining about that mess? Is Maroun going to pay for those repairs without cost to taxpayers, too?

This ole cowboy guarantees ya’ll that if the DRIC doesn’t go through, there ain’t gonna be no twin span to the Ambassador Bridge. Matty will just keep milking his poorly maintained piece of shit until its nipples fall off or a Ford Fiesta falls through its rusty platform into the river, whichever comes first. Meanwhile, SE Michigan will continue to fall further behind the rest of the civilized world with crumbling infrastructure that would make Somalia proud.

21

Matty Moroun just got the smack down from the Michigan Supreme Court. Life is good. I think I’m having the best week ever!

22

I wonder if he was smacked down by a panel of three Supreme Court judges locally whose campaigns he did not contribute to or if the case before the whole court en banc in Lansing. It would be even better news if a panel of judges whose campaigns he did contribute to screwed him.

23

[…] that Detroit-Windsor is the highest volume border crossing between the US and Canada, it’s not prudent to leave a private entity with total control over cross-border traffic. Granted, there is the tunnel, but it’s not really a commercial […]

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