City parks saved from embarrassing bluff, which one of you stole Stevens Mason, and Ann Arbor’s totally gay mayoral raceBy
Uncut grass is a precious jewel
Facing the city’s greatest crisis ever, City Council and Mayor Bing reached a budget compromise to ensure 70 parks would remain open. Thank the Christ Jesus because, if they closed Palmer Park…well the closet cases can only go to Temple Bar so many nights a week. Also, can you imagine if someone didn’t maintain all that uncut grass? Talk about embarrassing. Still, Council managed to squeeze like $20,000,000 in additional cuts that budget fabulist Norm White considered unnecessary. In this town, that’s progress. (DetNews)
Mike Ilitch, some other guy to buy the Pistons
Word on the street is Mitch Albom doesn’t like the Pistons’ possible sale to a group that includes Red Wings/Tigers owner Mike Ilitch. Mitch is very concerned about monopolies. This is America, and every billionaire deserves an opportunity to buy a professional sports franchise. Not just some elite oligarchy of billionaires. We should be concerned that Ilitch’s rumored partner, Sam Simon, owns 33 BP gas stations. That means, if the sale happens, Piston fans will be hassled by rabid LaRouchians who believe Simon is an agent in Queen Elizabeth’s global drug cartel/turtle killing operation. Just like the Beatles. (Crains)
Grotesque douchebag no longer MSU trustee
This news should remove any remaining doubt that legalized casino gambling was a bad idea. Vulgarian Joel Ferguson will resign from the Michigan State Board of Trustees to help run Greektown casino. He’s not allowed to do both. Once upon a time, Ferguson engineered the removal of MSU’s president so George Perles could mismanage MSU’s athletic department. For some bizarre reason, Michigan Democrats kept re-nominating, and Michigan voters kept re-electing this idiot to run the state’s largest university. And we wonder why Michigan has a brain drain? (Freep)
Who steals a dead governor?
Michigan’s first governor Stevens T. Mason is missing. Not missing like he’s on a bender somewhere, and his wife is worried. Missing like he’s been dead for 150 year, and no one can find his remains. He was last seen underneath his Capitol Park statue in 1955, in either skeletal or ash form. Usually you don’t need to check on dead people more than once or twice a century. Apparently, that’s not good enough for Governor Mason. Are gubernatorial remains something one tries to sell on eBay? Dead governor’s mortal remains. No reserve!!!!!! PayPal only. (DetNews)
MLive commenters are sad, lonely people
Remember that smoking ban thing from a couple months ago? The one that’s settled law? MLive commenters are still very upset. The news portal posted its best comments on the subject, i.e. those not written in ALL CAPS, or blaming “B. Hussein NObama” for everything. This led to another round of dumb reader comments on this dumb topic. We mention this because while the new media “blogosphere” is dumbing down America (see: history’s greatest monster David Wiegel), reader/viewer input (from letters to the editor, to comments sections, to talk radio callers, to man-on-the-street interviews) “expands the conversation.” (MLive)
Ann Arbor mayor gayer than actually gay mayoral opponent
The gays love Ann Arbor Mayor John Hieftje so much they’re endorsing him over actual lesbian Patricia Lesko. Controversy! Lesko, who as it turns out will not help you get $50,000 TO START A COFFEE SHOP!, claims the gays first secretly endorsed her, but changed their minds because of some back door shenanigans involving the notorious Washtenaw County Democratic machine. It’s like Boss Tweed’s Tammany Hall, it is. Or Lesko is crazy. Lesbians Against Lesko claims it’s the latter. Either way, best college town mayoral race ever. (AnnArbor.com)
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