Jul
27

Send guns, money, and lawyers because Team Kilpatrick just hit the fan, it won’t be the Synagro Terminal at Detroit Metro Airport, and WXYZ is just another Jesse Eisenberg vehicle

By

The Killer has nothing to say
When Crazy Joe Gallo testified before the McClellan Committee, he wore an awesome pair of Wayfarers and refused to answer a single question. He even pled the fifth when they asked him if his name was Joseph Gallo. Carlita and Bernard “The Killer” will employ a similar strategy in their Strawberry depositions. Probably because they’re guilty of something. Maybe not killing a stripper, but something. Too bad they won’t look badass cool pleading the fifth like Joey Gallo in his Wayfarers. Still, they should totally try this great clam bar in New York. (Freep)

And what they’re pleading the fifth about
Holy shit, that stripper party thing maybe actually happened. All this time we thought it was just a macguffin. Apparently Team Kilpatrick didn’t learn the lesson of Altamont. A brave citizen says he and his motorcycle gang (The Highwaymen?) provided the party’s security, and Mike “Tiny” Cox had a lap dance. From a woman! Cox says the accusation is ridiculous, but he doesn’t unequivocally deny the allegation. As Jason Robards once said: It’s all non-denial denials. Cox doubts this guy’s ancestry, but he never calls him a liar. (WDIV)

Let’s rename the North Terminal
Metro Airport can’t sell the naming rights its fancy new North Terminal. Who wouldn’t want to associate their brand with beautiful Romulus? Metro needs to get serious about naming their building. North Terminal lacks pizzazz. We need a buzz worthy name for our precious jewel of an airport. It should compliment the Ed McNamara Terminal without overshadowing it. So the Kwame Kilpatrick Terminal won’t work. That’s why Dyspathy strongly supports renaming it the Karl Kado Terminal. Father Russ Kohler says Kado is a saint. Do you have another saint to name North Terminal after? (Crains)

Congressmother debates no one in particular
The voters may retire Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick before she’s ready. That’s why she debated all her opponents who can’t win. Future Congressman (too soon?) Hansen Clarke skipped the event that probably five people actually watched. Everyone was really mad Clarke missed the party. The Right Reverend Glenn Plummer (R-Bingham Farms) says Kilpatrick is a super mother. He’d like you to stop being mean to her. Then John Broad said 13 freshmen brought home more money than Appropriations Committee member Kilpatrick. Maybe Hansen Clarke can carry her bra after all. (Freep)

Jennifer Granholm hopes Obama reads Politico
Michigan’s terrible lame duck governor is busy looking for a new job. That explains why she buckled like a belt on tax reform. She’s in Politico begging to be Obama’s green jobs czar. Can you even imagine? The entire nation subjected to her patronizing “good jobs…green jobs” drone. You might want to book Virgil’s guide services early, in case we need to escape that hell on earth. Hopefully, Glenn Beck will claim she’s a communist before it comes to that. (Michigan Messenger)

No one ever wins a giant-ass panda
Channel 7 Team Strikeforce 7000 (or whatever) uncovered the most shocking crime ever! Carnie games are impossible to win. While you get over your shock, I’ll fondly remember the 2009 coming-of-age comedy Adventureland. Joel is kind of personal hero. And Kristen Stewart was at the peak of her hotness. Before she was ruined by gross vampire porn for neurotic teenage Mormons. Twilight losers wouldn’t have the balls to rip off their step-mother’s wig. If I was something cool like an amusement park mechanic instead of a blogger, I would totally take Kristen Stewart’s character to my mom’s basement. Then we’d drink some drugs. (WXYZ)

Categories : State of the State

38 Comments

1

I’m so ambivalent toward the “Mike Cox was at the Manoogian” rumor, I could just poo. Heard it for years, still don’t know if I believe it.

My flip-flopping (partial list, non-footwear kind):

– Was there even a stripper party at the Manoogian Mansion?
– Oh, jaded me can’t put anything past the Kilpatricks…
– Out of the 14 bazillion text messages that are now part of court records, why is there none about said party?
– Why would the Wayne Cty AG apparently interfere in & rush an investigation into said party?
– Why would a campaigning-for-office Republican be invited to, much less attend, a Democrat’s celebration party?
– Politics makes strange bedfellows, the ruling elite have different rules
– Why would Kwame hire a biker gang for security when he had his Cass crew?
– Maybe Kwame wanted his Cass crew to enjoy the party

8 years on before now, I find I’m blown away with PTKD…

2
Downriver's Friend
July 27th, 2010 at 8:48 am

Biker’s story doesn’t pass the smell test. Even Gary Brown called bullshit on this alleged witness.

3
Camille Desmoulins
July 27th, 2010 at 8:57 am

Father Charles Coughlin Terminal.

4

The biker/security story is bizarre. However, everything about KK is bizarre. Compared to Kilpatrick Civic Fund-subsidized yoga classes, biker gangs protecting Kwame’s stripper party sounds almost reasonable.

If this guy is one of The Highwaymen looking for a deal, it makes sense that he’s only talking now. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth, but I do know he’s in a world of hurt if he made up a story out of whole cloth in a sworn deposition.

The ace in this hole is Cox. Consider:

His sweatily uncomfortable performance at the 2003 “urban legend” press conference;

The straight out of a b-grade spy movie 2008 meeting between Cox and a Kilpatrick lawyer in a public park;

Cox’s comments to WDIV yesterday was classic non-denial denial. He said the charge was ridiculous, and wondered why this guy didn’t come forward 8 years ago. But he never said the allegation was a lie.

There’s more than just smoke here. Cox is hiding something, and yesterday’s allegation clearly rattled his cage.

5
Oh George, not the livestock.
July 27th, 2010 at 9:37 am

Jenny and her toadies need to realize that no one wants her in DC. She is a failure. The myth of her charisma and speaking ability was created by local media, and is only perpetuated by their unwillingness to admit that they made it up when they thought she would succeed. The only value she might bring to the Obama administration would be in making Hillary seem like a good speaker by comparison.

She wasted eight years of our time, playing not to lose, because she thought she was guaranteed a big future at the federal level. Eventually it might sink in that she should have at least tried to do something as governor.

The most annoying thing about Glenn Beck is not his idiotic theories, but the way he states each one as if he just performed a magic trick. It’s like when Steven Tyler tells a story in an interview, relates it to some of his trite lyrics, then dramatically pauses for the interviewer to be amazed by his profundity.

6

If it isn’t the Reverend David Murray Terminal ON, I’m disappointed.

I actually think the Manoogian “witness” was floated out there by Tiny to make him sound authoritative and get him in the paper. Sort of like when his commercials “leaked” because he couldn’t afford to actually air them.

7

I like how Cox goes all street. “I can stand up!!” Next up, GTL.

I’m also underwhelmed. The guy seems like a less than credible witness, who is now MIA… I gotta go with Occam’s Razor, here. Nothing in the texts, no credible witness has come forward in eight years… you raise a good point about whether the witness was a member of the Highwaymen looking to make a deal, but absent that, I have to say I’m less than convinced. It pains me to agree with Cox, but there you have it.

8

can we get off the everything sucks we suck we hate it here shit?

no one in the rest of the country knows shit about granholm or hates her. Her rep is solid nationally because she hasn’t done anything tragically wrong or pissed anyone off. she’s been a good soldier and will be rewarded as such. pretty simple shit, people.

i understand we live in an age where we always hate our elected officials and don’t trust them to do anything right, but really, outside of our own little vacuum unless you really hose something bad you will be respected and likely taken care of.

9

Yeah, the story is bizarre, but not implausible.

More importantly, anything that makes Mini-Mike sweat is good in my book.

10
Downriver's Friend
July 27th, 2010 at 10:16 am

Cox is a douchebag, a liar, and a hypocrite. And I think it’s more telling that Killer and Carlita are planning to plead the Fifth. Why invoke your right not to incriminate yourself about something that DIDN’T happen?

But the biker’s affidavit basically parrots every meme that’s ever been circulated about the mysterious ho party.

11

I think I’m going to come forward and start naming the elected official who were at the party since none of those pansy asses will come forward! The names would surprise you. I idn’t witness it but I was told from other revelers, Mini Cox got more than a lap dance. It’s well known he comes down with Jungle Fever from time to time. I remember seeing him in Omar’s in Lansing quite a bit with a few members of the GOP caucus after getting elected. He used to like All Stars on Eight Mile when he was in the Wayne County Prosecutor’s office. I would see him in there all the time when I dated one the ladies who worked there.

12

Yeah, believe it or not people outside of Michigan seem to have a favorable view of her. A buddy of mine in Cleveland told me she was a good governor, and cited the fact that she got re-elected as proof. I tried not to laugh too much. Honestly, who really cares where she goes after she’s done with this job, just so long as she goes.

As far as the Manoogian stuff, not sure how plausible it all is, but if keeps us from having Governor Cox, I’m all for it.

13

I feel like Bart Simpson in the episode where Sideshow Bob married Selma, “…there was one little boy who never lost his mistrust.”

I understand the skepticism, and to an extent, share it. Perhaps the memes are true, just saying. This is a sworn affidavit, and you have a candidate for governor making non-denial denials. Even if there’s still much to be nailed down (and there is), this thing is step or two beyond rumor at this point.

The standard refutation of the party rumor has been: why hasn’t anyone come forward saying they were there? Well here is a guy saying, under the penalty of perjury, that he was there. Let’s not waste time wringing our hands over logical fallacies like his criminal record or the deposition’s timing.

It looks like Yatooma has a credible prima facie case. Let’s see someone pick it apart on merits, not conjecture.

14
Oh George, not the livestock.
July 27th, 2010 at 10:57 am

Who said everything sucks and we hate it here? I’m just saying Granholm is a coward who hasn’t done anything, and hasn’t even tried. I was here before she arrived, and I’ll be here when she’s gone. I’m just a little bitter about the fact that she took the job to boost her resume and shucked any responsibility to actually serve the interests of the state.

I guess you agree with her strategy of playing it safe. Maybe it will pay off with some minor appointment, but the possibilities that have been floated are pretty ridiculous. (Supreme Court?) The job she considered a stepping stone will end up being the peak of her career.

15

I’m a 35 year old homo, and I pride myself on being fairly versatile when it comes to pop culture of past and present: should I have gotten the Altamont reference? I had to look it up. You are so twee and sly, WF.

As disappointing as Granholm’s tenure has been, more people will miss her than not given the current slate of losers competing across the board for her position. Can we cede ourselves to Minnesota or Ontario?

16

wilbourne kelley terminal.

17

Two strippers offered a shitload of money to work one night at the Manoogian. They say they’ll only take the job if they can bring their own security. So they do. And the strippers’ security gets paid handsomely, too.

Former Catholic Central schoolboy and highest-ranking Republican in Michigan shows up and gets a lap dance. Thug mayor gets a lap dance. Which one has the most to lose if the stripper sings?

The highest-ranking Republican in Michigan didn’t show up to a Democrat ho party. The highest-ranking Republican in Michigan is alleged to have shown up to a party hosted by the son of the mother who gets tens of thousands of dollars from campaign contributors who otherwise only give tens of thousands of dollars to Republican candidates.

Has anyone checked the text message log to see what, if anything, was exchanged before or during the alleged party? Were the phones inactive on any given evening when the party was alleged to have taken place? I’d like to see those, if they’re available.

The best argument for not saying anything about the party that never happened? What if someone with really, really, really deep pockets was at the party — I mean, really, really, really deep pockets — and paid off every single person attending to keep quiet about it? Who could afford to pay off a mansion full of party people? And if anyone ever found that such a person had the means to pay off a mansion full of party people, who would be stupid enough to indict, implicate, or subpoena such a person?

@Joe Bob Briggs: Wasn’t AllStars the lounge where the manager was arrested for employing a 14-yr-old dancer?

@CdM: Oliver North Terminal. It would save money on a new sign. Just spraypaint “Oliver” above “North.”

And lastly,
“Good jobs … green jobs.” That’s Pure America. Lawd help us.

18

Granholm ended up sucking as governor for the same reason she has a decent national reputation: Afraid to piss anyone off. I’m just asking y’all to look at the big picture.

Why are we all inclined to believe some random dude Yatooma dug up who has been arrested 100 times? Seriously? This whole story is a race to the bottom. Killer and Carlita will plead the 5th because they should. Shit, if they called me today to take a deposition I would too. I mean, what’s the point, right? If his goal is to prove that anything could happen….

If that rager really did go down, someone would have gotten sold out by the K man and turned on him already. After all, no one who has turned on the Kilpatricks has turned up in a body bag yet and there should at least be a couple if we’re supposed to believe all this Thug Life bullshit.

Think less conspiracy and more amateurish bumbling, people.

19
Oh George, not the livestock.
July 27th, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Fair enough. I think we mainly disagree on the extent to which it might pay off for her.

I heard M.L. Elrick say that he doesn’t think the party happened (then he said ‘freep.com’ eighteen times). I tend to respect his view more than most.

People are much better at making shit up than keeping secrets. Kwame’s bunch of clowns could never cover anything up so effectively.

20

Not to focus on the window dressing, but “No one ever wins a giant ass panda” is screaming for a hyphen.

21

You mean giant – ass?
Or ass – panda?

22
Camille Desmoulins
July 27th, 2010 at 1:33 pm

“I’m taking the kids to see the rare Ass Pandas at the Detroit Zoo.”

23

Biker security witness guy didn’t show for the deposition. Yes, it’s hard to make appointments when you’re entombed in the foundation of Ford Field.

24

I want to go see the rare Giant Ass Pandas. And I do believe “ass panda” will become my new favorite perjorative.

I’ve been treated to a Fr. Kohler homily (rambling on endlessly about the various ways the kids could die over the summer, like drowning, electrocution, and getting in the car with drunk parents, thus scaring the shit out of the grade-schoolers attending their weekly Mass) and based on that performance he shouldn’t have been judged competent to testify in court much less have his vouching for Kado count for anything. Whack-a-doo.

25

It really doesn’t matter how you spell it, you can never win a giant-ass panda (or giant ass-panda) playing The Flighing Ducthman.

26

i once had a long time compandian who performed an excellent “flying dutchman”. it sure won ME over.

27

Do you suppose that Team Kilpatrick is the reason that law schools are sprouting in MI like mushrooms after our June rains? I’m waiting for Congressmom to argue that her family has increased employment in the criminal justice sector.

28

Let’s see Cox has private “interview” with Kilpatrick, evidence disappears, half the members of the Michigan House and Senate and members of the Detroit City Council refuse to comment and Carlita and Bernie want to plead their fifth amendment rights. All for a party Cox and Kilpatrick say never happened. Hmmm Oh, Cox also says he never met Kilpatrick before that “interview”. Kilpatrick was House Minority Leader from Detroit while Cox was in the Wayne County Prosecutor’s office. So that’s all BS.

Besides, Cox talks about being tough which kind of funny because if you were a tough guy everyone would already know it. It’s kind of men who go around bragging about the size of their penis. If you have a big penis you don’t have to brag.

29

From the Urban Dictionary:

1. ass panda

a result of rough anal, which leaves the anus black and bruised, resulting in the brown eye resembling a panda’s eye.

“oh my god i have the mother of all ass panda”

“we got carried away last night, you should see my ass panda”

2. ass panda

Somebody who is particularly annoying; a term to express extreme displeasure.

GAH, zack is being really pissy today… what an ass panda!

31

Wow, I am truly building my vocabulary every day by reading this blog. I think I have a favorite new pejorative: ass panda! Thanks WF!

32

I wonder if the Detroit Regional Chamber has archive photos of the 2002 Mackinac Policy Conference. It would be nice to see who was fist-bumping whom on the porch at the Grand Hotel that weekend.

33

I’m not buying that Cox was there. Even though I think he is a giant ass-panda.

34

Is there a lawyer in Michigan who hasn’t somehow, someway, been touched by the unending Kilpatrick legal sagas? Oh, it doesn’t matter if the affidavit is true . . . what matters is that it prolongs Yatooma’s stay in federal court. And even the freep guy says he doesn’t think there was a party. And yet lawsuits, affidavits, careers, and subpoenas fly through the air although at the center of it all is vast emptiness. . . nothing . . .

Are we all trapped in a Zen koan?

And still . . . the Titanic sinks.

35

Now, now, folks.

The Freep guy only confirmed that there is nothing in CHRISTINE BEATTY’s sent-and-received text messages that indicates there was a party that SHE attended that involved hos and Cox. He only reviewed CHRISTINE BEATTY’s text messages, from what I’ve read. The Freep guy is 100% sure that BEATTY wasn’t there (at the alleged ho party). Why would BEATTY be at a ho party?

The Freep guy only THINKS that there wasn’t a party.

I’m not saying there was or wasn’t a party. I’m only saying that Cox isn’t saying that there wasn’t a party (“non-denial denial”) and the Freep guy certainly isn’t saying there wasn’t a party. What’s stopping Cox from saying, straight up, “There wasn’t no ho party!”?

Someone, anyone, please say that every single day in September and October that Cox was accounted for. And while you’re at it, please say that every single day in September and October that Kilpatrick was accounted for (on the night he wasn’t hooking up with Beatty at a motel in Oakland County for a late-night tryst, according to text messages the Freep guy found).

I’d rather see Cox out of the race now than see Michigan embarrassed by a Cox impeachment proceeding a year from now because it turned out he was getting a lap dance at some alleged ho party.

36

There’s a lot of reasons Mike Cox isn’t getting elected, this is just one of them.

37

I believe the biker. Signed the affidavit early July, didn’t show for his dep, and early this week asked Dearborn police to help protect his life? His own gang probably wants to kill him for talking gang business, breaking strict pact. This is exactly why KK would hire a criminal enterprise over protection units that are also on the city dime. It all comes down to accountability–criminally enterprising gangs depend on secrecy for their organization to survive, and loose lips from within are subject to some serious accounting. Who knows, they probably also set KK up with party favors like illegal gambling and drugs. With the shït likely going down at that party, how would KK explain one or more city-payroll guys getting hurt on the job? In other words, you want a private party: for protection and discretion purposes, do you hire city union or mafia?

And don’t forget, this was all relatively new for KK; he still had to build trust with his protection unit and what better way than to break bread (or tables) with them? Yep, this was probably the only smart decision KK made while in office.

Let’s just hope this biker guy with a conscience lives to tell his story.

38

Ruth Carter text to Kwame:

“Mike (Cox) is going to do a separate invest than State police (regarding the state police investigation of the rumored Manoogian party and Gary Brown’s firing). “He called me sat and asked who we would rather be cleared by him or Duggan. I said him.”

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