Jul
29

Something from Virg Bernero’s favorite plutocrat, Kalamazoo River is your new Jed Clampett, and Ty Cobb: awful in every way

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C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun listens to Art Garfunkel’s soaring vocals while plotting evil
Not content with owning the world’s only privately held border crossing, and paying political whores to disregard the best interests of our nation’s security, Moroun wants to build a floating “on demand” bridge as a kind of emergency back up. Great. Now that withered old corpse will be on Comcast all the time: “What’s on Demand? I’m on Demand, just press 666 on your cable remote.” Moroun also received good news from Canada. A consulting firm says a second Ambassador Bridge would solve border crossing traffic congestion. That’s like saying a Big Mac extra value meal is a filling lunch. Technically true but… (Freep, Crains)

World’s nicest company accidentally spills oils
Nobody’s perfect, right? That’s what Marshall’s environmental program coordinator Cheryl Vosburg says about the Kalamazoo River oil spill threatening to make a Superfund site even more awful. According to Vosburg, this is only Enbridge Oil’s “second or third” worst spill. And they’re trying real hard to clean it up. Geez, can we cut these people some slack? It’s not like any of us are perfect. Also, Jennifer Granholm is very upset other people aren’t doing enough to clean up the spill. It’s not like the governor has any resources at her disposal for such an effort. Besides, she’s busy sending out resumes. (DetNews)

Bernero leads worst race ever
Almost no one plans to vote in Tuesday’s primary, but among those bothering to make the effort, Andy Dillon is suddenly unpopular. Because he will overturn Roe v. Wade in Michigan as soon as he’s elected. Virg Bernero, on the other hand, will give out free abortions with every unskilled factory job he takes back from Wall Street and China. Thank the Christ Jesus, we’re finally talking about the serious issues impacting Michigan families every day. Dillon actually fared better than former front-runner Undecided in this recent poll. Only one in four Democrats is still undecided six days before the election. The real winner of this poll is the eventual Republican nominee. (MLive, Freep)

Ty Cobb…what a dick
The Georgia Peach was kind of like Allen Iverson crossed with John Rocker. If you mix in John McEnroe’s sunny disposition. Did you know that people didn’t like the 1909 Tigers just because one time Cobb stabbed an African-American hotel detective in Cleveland? And traveled to Pittsburgh via Canada to avoid arrest for that (alleged) stabbing? You know, there are two sides to every story. Everyone deserves a second chance. Why should Cobb be denied a right to make a living just because he committed a violent crime in a fit of racist anger? (DetNews)

Categories : State of the State

11 Comments

1
One more idiot with an opinion and a keyboard
July 29th, 2010 at 9:23 am

What? Nothing about Detroit’s second deadbeat mayor?

Suppliers suing Bing claim he’s ducking servers
http://detnews.com/article/20100729/BIZ/7290403/1001/Suppliers-suing-Bing-claim-he-s-ducking-servers

Or Novi’s hard luck neighborhood of laser-hair removal titans, Robert Porcher and Charles Rogers?

King-sized foreclosure to hit auction block
http://detnews.com/article/20100729/METRO02/7290417/King-sized-foreclosure-to-hit-auction-block

2
Downriver's Friend
July 29th, 2010 at 9:36 am

Ty Cobb hated the blacks. So do teabaggers.

3

Cobb’s exhumed corpse could hit better than two-thirds of any lineup Leyland pencils in these days.

4
Camille Desmoulins
July 29th, 2010 at 9:52 am

The best part of the Sports Illustrates story is the writer’s name … Damon Hack. It’s like part Damon Runyon, part truth. And methinks Messrs. Cobb and Layne would have got along swimmingly.

5

Maybe Bernero can work with Moroun on establishing On Demand abortions.

6

sucking up to the union and emily’s list teats may help in a democratic primary, but its going nowhere in november.

7

Travel Michigan. Why go all the way to the Gulf to see the glistening majesty of a oil spill? Be sure to get a good seat for the nightly Burning River Festival. We’ll make them forget Cleveland.

8

Six years ago, Moroun was the second largest landholder in Michigan, second only to the State of Michigan.

Does anyone know if Moroun now owns more land than the State of Michigan owns?

Word has it that Moroun’s companies bought up a lot of property in Delray to block construction of the competing bridge. I wonder how much of Delray he actually bought.

9

The biggest tragedy of the Kalamazoo oil spill is that Bell’s Brewery might be effected…

That’s right…NO BEER.

Maroun should just borrow the STNG halodeck bridge to further his claim that there’s no need to build another. It’s more believable than his other arguments.

That way he could get back to his office’s orgasmatron….

10

man, being in a town on the river and then throwing some crazy party/festival when the oil spill gets there would be some epic shit. i hope someone on the west side sacks up.

to the best of my knowledge neither Kalamazoo nor Galesburg/Comstock water comes from surface sources.

11

Michigan is so f’ing provincial it’s embarrassing. Like f’rinstance, the Gulf has a big oil spill so of course we have to have one, but ours is typically half-assed because that’s the way we do it here.

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