Aug
25

There’s a Portland in Michigan?, Lions ruin education as well as football, and ain’t no crazy like Macomb County crazy

By

Rick Michigan makes terribly unimportant choice
There is nothing more important than selecting a running mate. Except for almost anything else. But we like to make a big deal when gubernatorial or presidential nominees make their pick because, well, because they usually do it in August and nothing else is going on. Snyder tapped 33-year-old Brian Calley to be his running mate. No one knows much about the state Rep. from Portland (Michigan, not Oregon) but let’s just assume he’s young and dynamic and sure to shake up this race. A real game changer. Until Bernero pick his LG. That will change the game again. Until Labor Day. When we completely stop caring about the LG candidates. (Freep)

DPS is awful and depressing, let’s talk about the Lions
Bill Cosby (and maybe Jesse Jackson, the kids love Jesse Jackson!) are coming to town to kick-off the school year. And the Spirit of Detroit statue will lift students in a giant DPS t-shirt. In non-bread-and-circus news, a new study confirms what everyone already knew. There are a few excellent schools in the city, and whole lot of shitty ones. One of the shittiest of the shitty schools is a charter operation run by the Detroit Lions. Why are the Lions finding new ways to kick us in the balls? We all know they wanted to give Matt Millen some kind of job after firing him, but maybe letting him write a charter school curriculum wasn’t the best idea. The “why drafting Mike Williams made sense at the time” course is surely interesting, but doesn’t help with the MEAP. (Freep, DetNews)

Johnny Damon validates our existence
Feel loved, Detroit. Despite an opportunity to play for a contender, Johnny Damon remains a Tiger. He won’t be taking his talents to Southie. Which seems silly because, at 37, why wouldn’t you want to join a contender in the middle of a pennant race? Because Detroit is awesome, that’s why. Also Damon really appreciates the camaraderie of Brandon Inge. He is America’s greatest clubhouse guy. Damon might even return to Detroit next year because he loves us so much. Take that Cleveland. Our (end of his career, role player) Lebron James didn’t quit on us. And Mr. I can put away the comic sans. (DetNews)

Macomb County has the best political gadflies
Say what you want about Detroit’s unemployable protester class, but for my money, no one does crazy like Macomb County. Take 84-year-old Frank Zundl. He was madder than hell about some damn kids who wouldn’t get off his lawn (or maybe something else, who knows?) and he told the Eastpointe City Council all about it. In fact, he wouldn’t shut up so they gaveled him down. But Frank Zundl doesn’t take kindly to that smart behavior from the whipper-snappers on Council. So the police tried to remove him. That’s when he tried to beat up the East Pointe police chief with his Jitterbug phone. Awesome. (Macomb Daily)

Categories : State of the State

11 Comments

1
Camille Desmoulins
August 25th, 2010 at 9:24 am

I feel my weary spirit lifted this morning. Thanks, Mr. Damon!*

* Never mind the fact Boston is the last place Damon wanted to go, and Dave Dombroski said they couldn’t reach a deal. Such details ruin the narrative.

2

oh yes, our spirits are lifted yet again by the precious gem that is Johnny Damon. everybody down 2 Carling Black Label Beers.

3

I get a Sarah Palin vibe off Brain Calley, for not other reason than he’s also politically inexperienced, an unknown for most of the electorate, and shores up the conservative base.

I’ve sat in a LOT of community meetings in my time. They frequently feature the crazy, but I’ve never seen the cops take anyone out. Does the fact I’m thinking how awesome that would be to see an actual cop brawl make me a bad person? Probably.

4

Does Mrs. Damon now want to stay in Motown? &, yeah, Johnny wasn’t going back to Boston* after his treatment in late 2005 and thereafter.
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2010/08/25/damon_must_have_his_reasons_but_what_are_they

Matt Millen for City Council! No…

* Unless they offered Johnny a wad.

5

Is Marty still teaching the symposium on taking the wind instead of the ball in overtime?

6

“you could live in downtown Boston and your wife could shop on Newbury Street. Or you could live in downtown Detroit, amid the boarded-up buildings. . .”

Fuck, Irish people are stupid.

7
Camille Desmoulins
August 25th, 2010 at 4:58 pm

The Lions school includes advanced mixology, taught by Tom Lewand.

8

Darryl Rogers teaches a great life skills course about finding, and keeping, that dream job.

9

Dear mayor Bing and/or Mr. Ilitch, I will stay in Detroit for half of Damon’s salary.

10

I lift Detroit in teach313!

11

@jdg: Why do you say the Irish people living in Corktown are stupid?

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