Aug
25

Incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick (and family) goes a-twattering

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The fine folks at the Detroit News’ City Hall Insider blog report that incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick is using the Twitter machine again to relay important messages to Team Kilpatrick supporters. This strategy fits perfectly in Kilpatrick’s new media wheelhouse. After all, many of his fancy sext messages were under 140 characters. For instance: “LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see! LOL We are having breakfast downstairs. Its a buffet.” Twitter ready, at 111 characters.

Sadly, Kilpatrick’s twatterings are less exciting than his sexts. “Do you know the real Kwame Kilpatrick?” or “Kwame Kilpatrick is a family man; with his wife Carlita and children Jelani, Jalil and Jonas.” aren’t as interesting as sexting about singing R. Kelly songs and Benz Chili Bowl.

That’s probably why, as City Hall Insider notes, our favorite ward of the state’s Follower count was stuck at 304. Dyspathy wants to help, so Woodward’s Friend became @Kwameandfamily’s 305th Follower. Good deed for the day!

But that’s not good enough. The entire Dyspathy community must step up and aid our fallen mayor. Everyone follow @Kwameandfamily right now! And send him some @ twatterings. To lift his spirits. Just be respectful, you know, make sure your message fits the tone of @Kwameandfamily. Kilpatrick likes to twat about his accomplishments in office. Write about that in your messages. Possible examples:

Incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick left Detroit with a $400,000,000 budget deficit. (84 characters)

Detroit taxpayers spent $10,000,000 because incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick ruined the careers of three honest cops. (120 characters)

While serving as Mayor of Detroit, incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick assaulted a Wayne County Sheriff’s deputy. (113 characters)

Under incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick, the city of Detroit was regularly several months’ late filing state-mandated audit reports. (134 characters)

Feel free to re-tweet any of those. Or write your own. There are literally hundreds of messages you can send @Kwameandfamily. Be creative and have fun. The important thing is we’re there for Kilpatrick. To remind him that we didn’t forget all he did for the city of Detroit. The fucker. (DetNews, Twitter)

Categories : Big Important News

11 Comments

1

In response to “Kwame Kilpatrick spent 5 years in the Michigan House of Representatives,” how about “Now Kwame Kilpatrick is spending 5 years in the BIG house.”

2

I like his Twitter Bio:

“Kwame M. Kilpatrick is one of the nation’s foremost leaders on issues of politics & policy and healthcare information technology.”

He’s a leader in “information technology”? If he is, why did he get caught sexting his mistress?

3

“…issues of politics & policy…”

We should forward his bio to Copyranter.

4

I’ve been resisting Twitter, but this might get me to join.

5

Twitter hint: If you follow someone, e.g., @Mwake&hisfamily, and say something true but obnoxious, he can block you and his twats won’t show up in your feed.

But if you add the name to a list, it acts as a search and you can see his BS twattlings.

Also, if blocked, have someone who’s not blocked retweet yours & I think it’ll show up in the ex-FIT blocker’s feed.

6

Kwame Kilpatrick is a very active community leader and a visionary who speaks on Federal/State/Urban Policy Issues
about 1 hour ago via Twuffer

I bet everyone in the cell block loves it when Kwame “speaks on Federal/State/Urban Policy Issues.”

7

why/how does he have a twattering machine in prison? is this generally allowable in prison these days?

8

Bittersweet: 101st follower is an incarcerated, sociopathic felon guilty of deceit, graft, distain for & obstruction of justice (including w/ an apple), cheating on his wife & responsibilities, ruining good cops’ careers, being a bully, and leaving a stain on the city he was supposed to represent…& we won’t mention the stripper.

I’m pretty sure it’s his PR machine working…which I don’t know how he affords.

9

Sean is probably correct. Comically awful PR flack Mike Paul is doing Kwame’s twattering for him. BTW, The Takeaway apparently uses Paul as an expert guest on public relations. As if we needed another reason to turn off WDET between 8:00 AM – 10:00 AM.

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=144663225567556&id=57469974282

10

But then again, his lawyers got him transferred to a prison with computer access so he could aid in his own legal defense. Maybe these are coded messages to wifey, daddy, etc. about (what else) obstructing justice. Anyone know Pig Kwatin?

11

Ut-pay the ile-fay in the irthday-bay ake-cay. I imagine that’s the extent of Kilpatrick and his media team’s imagination.

Here’s a twatter: Kwame fingered Beatty and all I got was his debt.

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