Incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick (and family) goes a-twatteringBy
The fine folks at the Detroit News’ City Hall Insider blog report that incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick is using the Twitter machine again to relay important messages to Team Kilpatrick supporters. This strategy fits perfectly in Kilpatrick’s new media wheelhouse. After all, many of his fancy sext messages were under 140 characters. For instance: “LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see! LOL We are having breakfast downstairs. Its a buffet.” Twitter ready, at 111 characters.
Sadly, Kilpatrick’s twatterings are less exciting than his sexts. “Do you know the real Kwame Kilpatrick?” or “Kwame Kilpatrick is a family man; with his wife Carlita and children Jelani, Jalil and Jonas.” aren’t as interesting as sexting about singing R. Kelly songs and Benz Chili Bowl.
That’s probably why, as City Hall Insider notes, our favorite ward of the state’s Follower count was stuck at 304. Dyspathy wants to help, so Woodward’s Friend became @Kwameandfamily’s 305th Follower. Good deed for the day!
But that’s not good enough. The entire Dyspathy community must step up and aid our fallen mayor. Everyone follow @Kwameandfamily right now! And send him some @ twatterings. To lift his spirits. Just be respectful, you know, make sure your message fits the tone of @Kwameandfamily. Kilpatrick likes to twat about his accomplishments in office. Write about that in your messages. Possible examples:
Incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick left Detroit with a $400,000,000 budget deficit. (84 characters)
Detroit taxpayers spent $10,000,000 because incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick ruined the careers of three honest cops. (120 characters)
While serving as Mayor of Detroit, incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick assaulted a Wayne County Sheriff’s deputy. (113 characters)
Under incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick, the city of Detroit was regularly several months’ late filing state-mandated audit reports. (134 characters)
Feel free to re-tweet any of those. Or write your own. There are literally hundreds of messages you can send @Kwameandfamily. Be creative and have fun. The important thing is we’re there for Kilpatrick. To remind him that we didn’t forget all he did for the city of Detroit. The fucker. (DetNews, Twitter)
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