Michigan Republican Convention is as awesome as expectedBy
Famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder found himself a nice, outstate conservative to be his running mate, so everyone thought right-wingers would be happy. Everyone forgot that regular ‘Mericans just want their country back. And they won’t put up with these corrupt backroom deals whereby a party’s elected gubernatorial nominee selects his or her running mate, as is the long-standing custom.
So, in the spirit of Martin Luther King (who would obviously recognize a services tax as exactly like Jim Crow in everyway), the teabaggers nominated their own LG candidate. Some guy who finished fourth a Congressional primary. Fourth. Ok, sure, but teabagger hero Bill Cooper is a real conservative. Cooper is also a businessman, not a politician. Which means, unlike Brian Calley, he can understand the Rick Michigan plan.
At this point, someone explained to Cooper that he’d lose this fight, and would be branded as the kind of fringe lunatic barely welcome in the Michigan Taxpayers Party. That’s when Cooper quit the race like Sarah Palin quit being governor of Alaska. That made the teabaggers love Bill Cooper even more! Because our founding principles are based on quitting England. Quitting something is literally the most Constitutional thing an American can do.
You know who sticks with things? Socialists. Also elitists who paid attention in school, found good jobs, accepted scientific realities, and don’t waste their lives attending rallies in jorts and so-tacky-it’s-unpatriotic American flag apparel. (Freep)
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