Aug
28

Main Street Southfield is your new model for sustainable neo-urbanism

By

While the Republicans are busy eating their own, the Democrats are holding the boringest political convention since anyone paid attention to the Prohibition Party. Jocelyn Benson and David Leyton were pre-nominated months ago. And everyone loves Lansing anger bear Virg Bernero. Except for Andy Dillon, but he’s probably still on vacation. Anyway, the only remotely exciting thing to happen at the Democratic convention was unveiling Virg Bernero’s LG choice.

After being turned down by almost everyone imaginable, Bernero settled on Southfield Mayor Brenda Lawrence as his safety date to the gubernatorial prom. He’s keeping up a brave face about his pick, noting that the Dems have two “main street mayors” atop their ticket. Wait, what?

Lansing kind of has a half-assed main street, but Southfield? Has Virg Bernero ever been to that abortion of strip malls, office parks, and chain restaurants? Or does Northland Mall count as a main street? It’s probably best that Jane Jacobs didn’t live to see Southfield (aka white-collar Warren) described as a hotbed of main street urbanity.

Oh and famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder is a CEO. That stands for Chief Executive Outsourcer. Just in case the tuk r jibs crowd was still undecided. Ok look, Michigan Democrats, the outsourcing attack worked on Dick Devos, not because anyone cared about outsourcing, but because it was a clever way to remind people that Dick Devos runs Amway.

Maybe Rick Snyder maybe sold you a shitty bargain-basement Gateway laptop, but most people understand you get what you pay for. Dick Devos convinced your loser cousin to ruin every family gathering with never-ending sales pitches about selling soap and insults about actually working a “J-O-B.” That’s why people didn’t like Devos. You’re gonna need, you know, something else this time. (Freep)

Categories : Big Important News

6 Comments

1

I understand that Granholm didn’t name Southfield a cool city because it was slotted into the never implemented “super cool” category.

3
Downriver's Friend
August 28th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Was Hanson Clarke there? You know, he needs to unite Democrats, who totally miss CCK.

4

Glad I found this website. The Dick Devos/Amway snark was especially keen. Keep up the good work. Adios.

5

Virg didn’t ask me to be his LG. I’m a somebody.

;-(

6

(AKA White collar Warren)

That is funny and so true.

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