Sep
06

Labor Day means only two months until the election is over, hookers relegated to dead tree editions, and Art, Beats, and Eats isn’t your new Columbine

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Rick Snyder outsources another job
Michigan has four gubernatorial campaigns worth of unemployed Republican flacks. Does famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder hire any of them? Nope. He’s outsourcing work to Democrat Chris DeWitt, genius behind A Whole Lotta People Supporting John Cherry. This is what Lansing anger bear Virg Bernero warned us about. It starts with Michigan Democrats, next he’ll hire Ohio Republicans, and he eventually staffs his entire administration with Bharatiya Janata Party operatives. Jon Yob is reduced to consulting school board elections in the U.P. while Saul Anuzis becomes an x-ray tech. And no one will understand the guests on Off The Record. (Crains)

Rochelle Riley wants to outlaw already illegal behavior
It’s really horrible how those people stole that money from the Detroit Public Schools. There should be some kind of law to protect school children from this kind of graft and malfeasance. Kym Worthy will have to write these people stern letters asking them to never steal from DPS again because, without new laws, there’s just no way to prosecute these thieves. That explains why DPS was mired in a culture of corruption for so long. A lack of laws. Thanks, Rochelle! (Freep)

Charitable giving to make Sarah Palin, nation’s heroes cry
Everyone (by which we mean any gullible dumb slob watching Fox News) knows that Islamic charity efforts are really a secret plot by the Saudi royal family to force Debbie Schlussel to wear a burka. Which is not why America’s brave first responders risked their lives on 9/11. So why are these local Muslims doing charitable good works because of this “Ramadan?” What is their real agenda? Do they have a secret plot? Can we take that chance? Let’s ask Fox and Friends. (DetNews)

Nation’s Attorneys General do Metro Times a solid
America’s alternative weeklies rely on ad revenue from prostitution services to stay afloat. But this awful Craigslist came along and gave away hooker ads for free. Craigslist is to alternative papers as drunken sluts are to hookers. It’s an affront to the American system of free enterprise that the alternatives hold so dear. Thankfully, 17 of our nation’s bravest Attorneys General stepped up to defend the alternatives’ exclusive right to market “fully functional” TS escorts to traveling salesmen and dentists. Thus saving News Hits from extinction. It’s Detroit’s most precious journalistic jewel. (MLive)

No one dead at Arts, Beats, and Eats
It sure is a good thing everyone freaked out over guns at Arts, Beats, and Eats. The Royal Oak street festival wasn’t overrun by roving gangs of violent criminals for gun-toting vigilantes to protect us against. And no one’s holstered gun went off, accidently killing busloads of war orphans or nuns. Even though that’s as plausible as Skylab falling a Powerball winner. People just enjoyed the over-priced funnel cakes and free Macy Gray concert. That’s a lesson. Everyone who freaks out about guns, one way or the other, is an idiot. The end. (Freep)

Categories : State of the State

4 Comments

1

LOL…
“Cullen Schwarz, communications director for the campaign of Democratic gubernatorial contender Lansing Mayor Virg Bernero, said that “people don’t pay attention to either candidates’ staff choices…””
…And yet somebody was as we know Schwarz’ name and what he said.

I’m dead from working out my guns.

2

Rochelle Riley has Charles Pugh as her model. From media mouthpiece to City Council candidate. Rochelle “There ought to be a law” Riley shows her idiocy by suggesting a new law in an article outlining the story of three people charged with breaking the law.

2 X damages that riley proposes are actually less than current law of 3 X damages (for amounts greater than 100k in MI).

Doesn’t matter about facts, though. Riley will be seen as an advocate of the poor DPS student victims, and get herself a nice secure job making 80k on the public dole. Riley for Council!

3

She’d have to move into the city first.

4

Its too dangerous WF. The kids are too dangerous and must learn from Rochelle’s columns how to properly parent their kids so she won’t get mugged. Or killed.

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