Sep
17

Showtime Disses the DEGC, Bernie Smilovitz Still Matters, and Richard Golden gets ‘the DBusiness Bump’

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Today’s State of the State comes from a long-time Dyspathy fan who, because of his affiliation with the Federal Witness Protection Program (which we can neither confirm nor deny), is using the double pseudonym Morningside. – WF

GEORGE JACKSON STILL A HORSE’S ASS (ER, HEAD) (ER, ASS)

Producers of the hit Showtime series Weeds are fuming this morning after learning of local efforts to clean up the corner of Michigan and Trumbull.Inspired by HBO’s recent Detroit success, Weedsexecs had planned to shoot part of Season 6 on the neglected grounds of old Tiger Stadium. “The setting was ideal,” says bigshot producer Jackson Woltz. “The weeds behind home plate were fucking 6-feet-tall. That crap was higher than Kevin Nealon on (a) Saturday Night!”

But with nearly all the weeds at The Corner now cut down to size, Woltz and company are resigned to scouting other locations. “George Jackson promised me weed — er,weeds!” Woltz says. “This. Is. Ridiculous. And a man. In my position. Cannot afford. To be made. To look ridiculous!”

DO YOU ‘SEE’ WHAT I ‘SEE’?

Meanwhile, high atop the Golden Shower (er, Tower) on Third Street, DBusiness semi-literate socialite — er, editor R.J. King has probed deep into Detroit’s most vital business news for another compelling piece of investigative flackery — (er, journalism).

“America’s Premier Business Journal” has done it again.
Call it the Bluestein Effect.

If past is prologue, Richard Golden’s about to start a whole new dance craze.
And if he’s still got the moves, maybe he’ll land a spot alongside Carey Torrice in the Detroit Pride.

Do us Proud, Richard.

MISTER IRRELEVANT SOLDIERS ON

Apparently Bernie Smilovitz is still collecting a paycheck.

Dyspathy was shocked last night when, for the first time since Jac LeGoff signed off, we checked in on Jay Leno’s opening act. The longtime late-night yuckster — (er, sportscaster) is still doing what he does, much to the amusement of Devin — (er, Kevin) — (er,Dayna) Eubanks. Or whoever.

Christ.

Well, crunch on that corn all you want, crickets. He’ll make more.

CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNAMENTS: NOT JUST FOR DICKS ANYMORE

(They’re also for d-bags.)

But not for dBiz D-Bag-in-Chief R.J. King (who’s still fake pissed he shares a name with the new head of the UAW).

With DBusiness’ resident golf pro still distraught at being excluded from this year’s Smilovitz Harvest Classic, Bernie tossed him a bone and let him caption the photos.

Last we saw R.J., he and Bob King were turnin’ cartwheels with Lila Lazarus.

Categories : State of the State

2 Comments

1

When will B’Nai Brith give Richard Golden its Roy Cohn Award for the greatest embarrassment to the Jewish people?

2

Is Morningside an angry ex of RJ’s? Rawwr!

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