Sep
23

Detroit 1-8-7 shatters our innocence, Detroit Works civic engagement generates self-satisfaction from Detroit Works about civic engagement, and Onward Reverse Mortgage Soldiers

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TV shows may be different than reality
So you know all of those police procedurals where they always manage to find some incriminating semen sample all over the evidence? Real life may not actually work that way. While we’re at it, you should probably know that some dumb hillbilly can’t strike oil while shooting up some food with a shotgun. And criminal fugitives wanted by the Army probably can’t hide in a panel van with a giant orange stripe. Also, unlike Perry Mason, most criminal defense lawyers don’t only defend the innocent. (DetNews)

The great Bernero-Snyder coffee klatch summit
As uncivilized as some people may find it, famous nerd Rick “Michigan” Snyder and Lansing anger bear Virg Berneo will debate. Once. On public television. The winner gets a totebag. The loser has to watch the Rich Dad/Poor Dad infomercial during the next pledge drive. Snyder and Bernero worked out the details over coffee. Like regular folks! Snyder ordered a half-caf skinny carmel macchiato and Bernero drank watery Cadillac Coffee from the local tool and die shop. (Crains)

Shouty fests complete, trails of tears can begin
The Detroit Works Project is done with listening to the people. Now, as it says in the headline, Dave Bing can begin ripping senior citizens out of their homes so he can give the land to John Hantz and his Bilderberg overlords. They’ll use that land to grow genetically-engineered cash crops for suburbanite DTE executives. Thus robbing Detroiters of the precious jewel of nitrogen in the soil. (DetNews)

Ayanna Kilpatrick enjoys a delicious sandwich
The federal probe probe of the Kilpatrick Civic Fund for the advancement of yoga and golf lessons continued yesterday as incarcerated felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s sister and the right Reverend Edgar Vann (praised be His name) testified before the grand jury. Then Ayanna Kilpatrick ate a sandwich. To keep up her strength. Then they both explained how they aren’t the targets of the evidence. Which is interesting because people often leave a grand jury to announce they’re totally being investigated. (Freep)

Mortgage originators block traffic
Woodward Avenue has been an insufferable mess during rush hour all summer and MDOT is still repaving a modest stretch on the city’s main artery. If that isn’t annoying enough, Quicken employees clogged up a different section of Woodward by “marching” all the way to Comerica Park from the Compuware Building. It was like that Social Forum march but with more pleated khaki pants. Also, we’re supposed to call Woodward Webward because 1700 mortgage originators moved to existing office space downtown. (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

9 Comments

1

Actual Detroit cop says fake Detroit cops are way better than actual Detroit cops.

2

Homicide cases closed? On purpose? In Detroit? Hahahaha nice try, HollyWEIRD!

3

Tote bag? Fuck that. I wouldn’t do it for less than the complete “Fawlty Towers.”

4

@DF: But fake Detroit cops are much better looking, and fight crime with totally funky soul hits from the 70s.

5

So is this going to be Poletown 2?

6

TV is different than reality? And here I was worried about Christopher Moltisanti moving to Detroit what with his herion problem and all. And I thought Tony killed him, but he must have survived and joined the police.

7

btw WF – Rochelle is thinking about the children again today, oh my, the children! want to hear your take on her drivel on this!

8
Guestopus@yahoo.com
September 26th, 2010 at 8:34 pm

That was just fucking awful. Jesus. Thanks for sharing it.

9

Just wanted someone to share in my paid & nausea Guestopus!