Goodbye, farewell, and amen…or why MLive is way cooler than AfterMASH


Hi. My name is Jeff. Some of you already know that. Good-bye.

I’m retiring Dyspathy to cover metro Detroit full-time at MLive.com. Things will be different at MLive. For the better, I think. My writing style will stay true to Dyspathy’s essential elements: dated pop culture references, sentence fragments, and an gleeful desire to lance the boil of hypocrisy festering on our region’s ample hindquarters. Also, Garfunkel and Oates. I’ll find a way to work them in. Promise.

Of course, they won’t let me swear. Or call people like Matt Millen a human colostomy bag, even though he’s obviously just that. And HR says I can’t keep a giant ass panda in MLive office. No giant-ass pandas either.

But that’s ok. To be totally honest, if Dyspathy remained as is, this place could get stale really quick. As the great British philosophers David St. Hubbins and Derek Smalls once said, “there’s a fine line between stupid and…clever.”

Right now, Dyspathy is like Howard Cosell circa 1971. I don’t want to wake up one morning to realize it’s become Howard Cosell circa 1991. Hooking up with Michigan’s most read news site is a tremendous opportunity to take what we’ve built here to a wider audience and make it respectable, with polish and nuisance.

And I do mean we. Dyspathy worked because, without question, it’s had the best comments section of any local mainstream media site or blog. I hope you will not only continue to read my stuff, but participate on MLive like you have here.

Finally, thank you to Dora’s Web World for the reasonably priced bandwidth, Andy at Hot Fudge Detroit for his wonderful art project, and Alan and Dave for volunteering as ad hoc copy editors. It was difficult, unpaid work but they happily found my typos, copy mistakes, and assorted malapropisms. The help was always appreciated.

So, that’s that.

Woodward’s Friend

Categories : Big Important News


Camille Desmoulins
October 8th, 2010 at 2:33 pm

You sonofabitch. ;)


Well, shit. Godspeed you fancy bastard. Guess I’ll have to start reading MLive now, which is something I swore I’d never do. So, I guess I’ll have to second Camille.

Downriver's Friend
October 8th, 2010 at 2:39 pm

From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee.
For Hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

No, just kidding. Thanks for all the wit and wonder that is/was Dyspathy. And thanks for letting me fill in once for you.

PS–Be sure to write your new stuff in comic sans–ALL CAPS.



Sniff. Sad. Can the masturbation discussions continue? Because no lie, I am in serious awe of my fellow commenters’ ability to lovingly massage every issue into masturbation references (double entendre totally intentional).

In all seriousness, congrats on the new gig, and I’ll be following you over there as well.


Congrats, my friend.


No more ass pandas?? what the? Congrats and good luck, look forward to reading you on MLive.




Thanks for all the laughs and irreverence. Your whit and shit will be missed.


My dislike was supposed to have “selfish” html tags around it, but they were stripped, just leaving me an asshole.


Look at that little monkey run (into the arms of corporate journalism). The fewer sharks jumped, the better…


say it ain’t so. well, now that i know your real name, i have no choice but to stalk you until my long-standing love for you is reciprocated.

good luck at mlive and thanks for the laughs.

(dead serious about the wanting to marry you, btw.)



Dammit, not this again…


Congrats on the new gig, and best of luck!


So many responses going through my head….


“Way to leverage your indie cred for coin, you sell out little fucker”

“Supergay still won’t sleep with you no matter how big your readership – he care about other sizes”

“What’s next? Cockrings?”

Camille Desmoulins
October 8th, 2010 at 4:31 pm

This is a total ratings stunt.


This is so deja vu, and not in a poontang kind of way.

Well, have at it, and best of luck!


Thit! I am happy for you, Jeff, but I will miss all the fun of your blog and all the ass panda and Otis Mathis references.

You are truly gifted and I am sure you will find a way to get your snark through loud and clear without offending the delicate sensibilities of the brass at MLive–that’s for us to do in our comments and we will try not to disappoint you.

Have a great time and don’t work too hard!


The rest of this Kwame saga just won’t be quite the same…

stay classy


happy entrails, cockboy!
if I really knew you, I would say something strange and wonderful.


I forgave Cosell, but I’ll never forgive you!


Now what am I supposed to do for best and most accurate reporting of news in the D?

Here’s to wishing you someday share the same cell as Kwame, his dad, Carlita ,and Carolyn….

Good Luck!


Aw, nuts!


What kind of preservationist are you?


This is a shame. Seriously. Of course I’m happy for you personally, WF, landing a better gig. But the perspective, brutal honesty/candor, and humor of Dyspathy can never be even remotely replicated at a site like MLive that wants to attract big time advertisers. At places like that, they rule. Period.

But thanks for the great time while it lasted.

Downriver's Friend
October 9th, 2010 at 8:43 am

Will MLive let you use “sunt”?



Dylan, B.



@Blanchard’s Friend: You underestimate my new colleagues. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what I churn out for MLive. DUI Attorney Daniel Hajji, not so much.

@N: We’re gonna make it after all!


OK WF, when are you gonna admit you woke up with one hell of a hangover, looked at the calendar you hadn’t flipped over for months, and decided this was April 1st?


Does this mean you’ll soon be swilling brightly colored cocktails with Mitch Albom and Rochelle Riley?

Good Luck, and always ask, What would Mencken do?


mlive readers have no idea who elmer gantry is/was. yet.


So, I’m supposed to become an mlive commenter now? I just don’t know how I feel about that.

Eastside Complainer
October 11th, 2010 at 1:38 am

This sucks.


well, hell, what a way to start a monday. I wish you the best, but never will be the same. good luck WF!


You´re welcome, Jeff, and thanks for the thoughtful shout. You´re a mensch.

And on the off-chance anything slips past the MLive desk, I´ll try to watch your back.





thanks dude




Congrats. Bittersweet for certain. Hopefully you will keep us mildly entertained over there. Kind of like the time when a few people got banished from this one art project so they decided to start their own art project and then a whole lot of people realized that the new art project was more real than the old art project so they joined in and then eventually people realized that the new art project was becoming old so they decided to leave the new art project but nothing really became of that so then they said screw it and just read dyspathy on the rare occassions when it was actually published. Well I hope Mlive is something like that.

One more idiot with an opinion and a keyboard
October 11th, 2010 at 4:43 pm

What’s up with today’s MLive post?