Jun
19

THE GREAT COBO JEWEL HEIST, WILL RUSH LIMBAUGH EAT AT THE CHURCH’S CHICKEN DON WILLIAMSON LOVED SO MUCH, AND PEE WEE REESE WAS NOT THE EAGLES DRUMMER

By



Lansing groping Detroit’s precious jewels again
These slobs still think Detroit will let them take over Cobo Hall’s $15,000,000 annual operating deficit so the facility can remain the state’s premier convention venue. Well, they have another thing coming. Detroit will rise to defend our precious jewels even in it requires all the grapes in Eastern Market. Leading the charge is boy-legislator Coleman Young Jr. Joel Loving. By the way, his mother’s talk show on WHPR is not to be missed. Anneivory Calvert can mix substandard intelligence, fundamentalist theology, and bad public policy ideas like few others. Wednesday mornings. It’s called Ghetto Theocracy On The March. Or it should be. When the actual Coleman Young said pious people were full of shit, he must have been talking about his ex-girlfriend. (Freep)

The easiest, cheapest, and most effective crime reduction strategy ever

Classifying a death as a murder is hard. First there’s a bunch of paperwork, then the police actually have to investigate who killed the person, and eventually the brass have to answer a bunch of questions about why these God damn people are always getting murdered in Detroit. Much better to declare deaths something else. For instance, one guy was accidentally beaten to death. Accidents aren’t murders. This way Atlanta or New Orleans is the murder capital and people will keep saying nice things about Detroit. They better. Otherwise they’ll find themselves beaten to death. By accident. (DetNews)

Dan Kildee launches economic stimulus for Flint’s pharma industry

Kildee invited known pill-popper Rush Limbaugh to Flint and already Pfizer is opening a new plant just to keep up with Limbaugh-related sales of “the good stuff.” Limbaugh, probably in a haze of opiates and Taco Bell, wants to bulldoze places like Flint because they are awful. Maybe he has a point. The majority of Americans, in both public policy and individual decisions, have abandoned the traditional city. Urban dwellers are isolated from employment opportunities and essential public services. Declare Flint an economic Love Canal and relocate its residents to functioning communities. This will work for Detroit as well. Limbaugh’s listeners in Warren, Livonia, West Bloomfield, Ann Arbor, and Howell will gladly embrace the re-location of several thousand Detroiters to their towns. (MLive)

You must appreciate Martha Reeves in the proper context

Hot Fudge Detroit’s Andy Olesko is Detroit’s finest citizen. When he’s not video taping the Marxist revolution in Grand Circus park, he’s calling City Council. After some self-righteous aide in Martha Reeves office hung up on him, he sent the Councilwoman an email calling the whole Jay Leno thing embarrassing. Something like three months later, Andy receives a hand-written note from the washed-up pop singer asserting that he took her comments “out of context.” Martha and Jay Leno had larfs over the whole thing so fuck you too Andy. She also included a picture of herself because she’s famous and people like collecting pictures of famous people. At least they did in 1963 when Martha Reeves was actually famous. (Hot Fudge Detroit)

State Capitol elevators are a makeshift bullfighting ring
State Senator Irma Clark-Coleman was minding her own business as she got on an elevator while waving a giant red cape and this other state Senator Roger Kahn charged her “like a bull” in heat. He was also “petulant and violent.” Props to Clark-Coleman’s staff for reaching for the Rogets when writing that complaint. Naturally Kahn, who wrote that gross Boys of Summer song about the Brooklyn Dodgers with Don Henley, denies the whole thing. He says their confrontation was “verbal,” meaning he probably called her a dumb bitch or something and walked away. That’s how the State Senate rolls…classy. Also Kahn saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac which sets him off something fierce. (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

3 Comments

1

God bless Martha Reeves for keeping the memory of Rick James alive in her weave.

2

Hi, Where are you from? Is it a secret? :)
Have a nice day
Joker

3
Woodwards Friend
June 21st, 2009 at 9:33 am

Hi Joker,

I just came from your mom’s house.

You have a nice day as well,
WF

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