Jun
25

THINGS MIKE DUGGAN WON’T MENTION IN DMC ADS, DAN STAMPER’S PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS, AND FUN WITH WILLIAM CLAY FORD

By



Health care fraud is our new growth industry
Michigan has to diversify our economy. All those baby boomers are getting old and they want to live long enough to spend their kids’ inheritance and bankrupt Social Security. That’s why health care is a growth industry. Detroit is taking a lead role in an important segment of the health care market. Fraud. Oh sure one of these “griftepreneurs” loudly proclaimed her innocence but she was just being modest. Minnesota may have all those pointy-headed “doctors” up at the Mayo Clinic and all the pharmaceutical companies are gay for Philadelphia but, as Emory King might say, if you want to make a fraudulent Medicare claim…go to Detroit. (DetNews)

Thank you Jennifer Granholm!
Highland Park is pretty much the worst place ever. It’s like Bangladesh if Bangladesh didn’t have oceanfront property and was run by a gang of semi-literate thieves. Back in the 1990’s everyone was finally fed up with the embarrassment that was Highland Park’s government and the state appointed an emergency financial manager. She was badass. Almost Robert “Bob” Bobb badass. Naturally, Jennifer Granholm replaced this competent technocrat with Art Blackwell, the son of Highland Park’s former mayor/crook who kept office hours in a strip club. Anyway, Highland Park’s schools are also financial black hole of malfeasance and despair. The end. (Freep)

You cannot stop Matty Moroun’s sun blocker, you can only hope to contain it
Just os everyone knows, we’ve been doing the Matty Moroun = Monty Burns way longer than the Metro Times. M-Dot served Mr. Smithers Dan Stamper with a lawsuit because the Bridge Company pretty much did nothing that they were supposed to do for this whole Gateway clusterfuck. Also they probably illegally confiscated a public park to build a bridge to nowhere but we hate to judge, ugh, before all the facts are in. Oooh new meme! Matty Moroun = General Ripper! That means Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, Bill Shea, Frank Beckman, and all the other Matty apologists = General Turdgison/General LeMay. Mandrake, do you know how I first discovered the communist plot to build a publicly owned border crossing? During the physical act of love. (DetNews)

Republican nobody plays inside baseball and strikes out looking
So this guy Rick Snyder, who for all we know could be our neighbor, is running for governor as a moderate Republican. Depending who’s telling it, “moderate Republican” either means someone who eats unborn babies for their stem cells or someone who won’t eat veal-wrapped baby seal. Best served in a panda sauce. Well this baby-eating fairy Rick Snyder announced a bunch of obscure Republican endorsements that no one really gave a shit about. Except FAIL! Those endorsements turned out to be, in the words of Mike Cox, an urban legend. Ha ha no one endorsed Rick Snyder! (Right Michigan)

Making fun the newspapers is like making fun of Ralph Wiggum
Hey everybody! Check out this screen shot taken last night of the famous local internet pamphlet known as the Free Press. What were the big stories? Well, GE might hire 1200 Michiganders. Considering our governor needs a bidet everytime a new Jiffy Lube opens, that’s legitimate news. The fireworks. Major annual event downtown, fair enough. Oh and Magglio Ordonez’ haircut! Yeah that’s way more important than the Bridge Company lawsuit, Kilpatrick/EMS whistleblower case, or GM bankruptcy proceedings. For a news source with a fresh Pulitzer under its belt and pretty good editorial page, sometimes the Freep is just plain bush league. And not just because of Rochelle Riley. (Imageshack)

William Clay Ford mutters some bland pleasantries
If there ever was a poster child for maintaining the estate tax, it is William Clay Ford. Paris Hilton may be a diseased train wreck but at least she keeps up entertained. All Ford has done is ruin pretty much every Sunday in Detroit between Labor Day and Christmas for the last 45 years. Also he crushed the greatest running back of all time’s desire to play football. While he was in the prime of his career. James Stewart was almost as good as Barry Sanders so whatever. Ford talked to the press yesterday and said pretty much: “oh golly gee we sure want to win and the fans are great, too bad about Matt Millen not working out.” No wonder his brother never let him run the real business. Henry Ford II was a smart man. (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

9 Comments

1
Downriver's Friend
June 25th, 2009 at 10:46 am

William Clay Ford is a doddering old drunken fuck. The end.

2

I gotta defend the freep. The Bridge Company and Kilpatrick stuff is old news. What, is their lead story supposed to be “City Still Broke: Nobody Fixing It” every day until further notice?

Maggs haircut; however, represents Change. Change we can believe in. Plus, it is something nearly everyone; especially women, in this region has an opinion on.

3
Downriver's Friend
June 25th, 2009 at 11:03 am

“Plus, it is something nearly everyone; especially women, in this region has an opinion on.”

Katrina Hancock was practically creaming herself over it during her “sports” segment on Channel 4 yesterday.

4

I read the comments for the bridge article and want to give a big fuck you to whoever that trout dude is. MDOT actually doing something about DIBC abuses is probably the best thing we could ask for, considering the city of Detroit has only been able to muster up a gentle whimper.

Also fuck you, William Clay Ford. I might not be a huge football fan, but I would love to see a good football team. Also less whining by coworkers and such about how shitty our team is.

5
Woodwards Friend
June 25th, 2009 at 11:49 am

“What, is their lead story supposed to be “City Still Broke: Nobody Fixing It” every day until further notice?”

Well no but I have to believe there is something more newsworthy and interesting going on in metro Detroit. Hell, there’s probably something more newsworthy and intersting than Maggs hair going on inside the Tigers clubhouse.

6

My favorite part of the bridge story is MDOT dumping 10,000 tons of dirt on the road.
“We’ve seen the way the bridge company operates,” Kratofil said.

Motz, I’m with you on this trout person. I’d say something to put him (her?) in his place but then I realized he’s from Ravenna, MI which is apparently halfway between Muskegon and GR. Between that and his poor grasp of the English language…I just feel bad for the sap now.

7

How about “Don Kelly’s whiteness threatens Inge’s status as grittiest Tiger?”

8

Hey, have you seen this news article?
New details about Michael Jackson’s Death Emerge
I was wondering if you were going to blog about this…

9

My family know the ford family very well my self included and all i have to say is FUCK HIM! thats that. hes a nice guy and a good person at heart but when it comes to football he is fucking stupid. He has destroyed the lions and the spirit of nfl football in detroit. Fuck him. what makes me mad is that he is the most uninvolved owner in all of sports. that really makes me mad. and for all you people that are praying he will sell the team. forget it his son will take it over and i bet he will fuck it up even more.

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