LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO QUIT SNIFFING GLUE: THE BELATED MONICA CONYERS PLEA BARGAIN WRAP-UPBy
In the immortal words of Dante…Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m not even supposed to be here today. Leave town a little early for a weekend in the great American wilderness and Monica Conyers decides to plead guilty. Fuck. We shouldn’t be so surprised. Once Monica revealed her chocolate chip cookie recipe was available on the back of the Ghirardelli box, well, it was like she made the prosecutors case for them.
One has to love the sheer joy expressed by her Council colleagues over her departure. Right now, as I type this, Kwame Kenyatta is probably packing up her office at the Coleman Young Building. Monica, your stuff will be waiting with the security guard at the front desk. Monica truly is the kind of vile bitch that people root for to fail. And maybe get hurt while failing. That would be extra good.
Joel Thurtell, bless his heart, lays out a well-researched and dispassionate argument for going after Monica’s sugar daddy, Congressman John. And ok, Thurtell makes a lot of sense but don’t the voters have to step up at some point here? Isn’t anyone insulted that the 14th District Democrats pretty much pulled an Officer Barbrainy in response to even the slightest hint John Conyers may not be as pure as the Virgin Mary. Let’s be clear: without John Conyers there would be no Monica Conyers. That alone is reason to vote for anyone but John Conyers next time around.
But don’t expect the Justice Department to do all our dirty work. It’s one thing for prosecutors to go after politicians whose graft it’s as obvious as a guy walking around without pants but that’s really their limit. The whole innocent until proven guilty thing makes it kind of tough to bust elected officials smart enough to be discrete with their corruption. As it should be. If it were too easy to take down politicos in court then pretty soon everyone would send their pet prosecutor after their political enemy. You know, kind of like that one crazy Bible-chucker did in the Bush Administration.
It really is better if the citizenry clear the weeds from the various legislative and executive branches. The presumption of innocence is a sacred right in an American courtroom but not in an American election. An active and engaged citizen does not require evidence beyond a reasonable doubt to vote against a Monica Conyers. We act as though we aren’t complicit in the many dubious deals on an Ed McNamara. Oh sure, repeatedly voting for the guy and his cronies doesn’t make us criminals. It just makes us dull slobs afraid to acknowledge the obvious.
So fare-ye-well Monica Conyers. Enjoy your up-to-60-months in federal prison. It has been an amazing 44 months since your election. The bar fights, the Shrek references, arguing with sixth graders, the tours of you house of skank…we enjoyed it all. We will pray that you will enjoy your time on the inside. And maybe the voters will DO THEIR FUCKING JOB replacing you with something capable of something…better. (DetNews)
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