In the immortal words of Dante…Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m not even supposed to be here today. Leave town a little early for a weekend in the great American wilderness and Monica Conyers decides to plead guilty. Fuck. We shouldn’t be so surprised. Once Monica revealed her chocolate chip cookie recipe was available on the back of the Ghirardelli box, well, it was like she made the prosecutors case for them.

One has to love the sheer joy expressed by her Council colleagues over her departure. Right now, as I type this, Kwame Kenyatta is probably packing up her office at the Coleman Young Building. Monica, your stuff will be waiting with the security guard at the front desk. Monica truly is the kind of vile bitch that people root for to fail. And maybe get hurt while failing. That would be extra good.

Joel Thurtell, bless his heart, lays out a well-researched and dispassionate argument for going after Monica’s sugar daddy, Congressman John. And ok, Thurtell makes a lot of sense but don’t the voters have to step up at some point here? Isn’t anyone insulted that the 14th District Democrats pretty much pulled an Officer Barbrainy in response to even the slightest hint John Conyers may not be as pure as the Virgin Mary. Let’s be clear: without John Conyers there would be no Monica Conyers. That alone is reason to vote for anyone but John Conyers next time around.

But don’t expect the Justice Department to do all our dirty work. It’s one thing for prosecutors to go after politicians whose graft it’s as obvious as a guy walking around without pants but that’s really their limit. The whole innocent until proven guilty thing makes it kind of tough to bust elected officials smart enough to be discrete with their corruption. As it should be. If it were too easy to take down politicos in court then pretty soon everyone would send their pet prosecutor after their political enemy. You know, kind of like that one crazy Bible-chucker did in the Bush Administration.

It really is better if the citizenry clear the weeds from the various legislative and executive branches. The presumption of innocence is a sacred right in an American courtroom but not in an American election. An active and engaged citizen does not require evidence beyond a reasonable doubt to vote against a Monica Conyers. We act as though we aren’t complicit in the many dubious deals on an Ed McNamara. Oh sure, repeatedly voting for the guy and his cronies doesn’t make us criminals. It just makes us dull slobs afraid to acknowledge the obvious.

So fare-ye-well Monica Conyers. Enjoy your up-to-60-months in federal prison. It has been an amazing 44 months since your election. The bar fights, the Shrek references, arguing with sixth graders, the tours of you house of skank…we enjoyed it all. We will pray that you will enjoy your time on the inside. And maybe the voters will DO THEIR FUCKING JOB replacing you with something capable of something…better. (DetNews)

Categories : Political Obituary



Wonderful summary, WF. I agree, I hope the voters do their job. McNamara was a crooked O.F. who was only interested in feathering his own nest and appointing and annointing people who could continue his little cadre of corruption. Never voted for the s.o.b., and may he not rest in peace. I also agree with Joel that the Dems are protecting Mr. Conyers for no good reason; wish they could get it through their thick heads that just because the guy is a Democrat, doesn’t make him worthy of wearing the monicker (no pun intended). Certainly there are other more worthy and more ethical people out there who could step up to the plate in his district; why not give them a chance? Guess John is rid of one of his problems, for now. I was thinking that if the feds did their job fully, then John and Monicker could share a conjugal cell in some federal prison. Talk about punishments from hell…

Hope you enjoyed your vaca and welcome back!


I’m almost certain my fellow voters will elect this man instead of Monica Conyers in the upcoming election:


Be sure to read all 17 points of his platform.


I just don’t think enough can be said about the awesomeness of Sam Riddle.


Paul, that site seriously looks like someone typed it up at like 3am after having a total rager of a night. Spelling errors fucking everywhere, and then when I got to his platforms? Yeah, gotta go slam my head in the door for a few hours. See you all later!


Unfortunately, there often isn’t much of a choice. I’ve been asking everyone I know who’s familiar with Detroit politics this question: Yes, the current council sucks, vote them out. BUT. Who’s good? Who deserves my support? I’ll go knock on doors and work my network for anyone who is a decent candidate and might try to inject some reasonableness into Detroit politics. No one, NO ONE, has been able to answer the question. And while our local media love to report on the suckitude, they don’t do a lot of reporting on the field of candidates beforehand. Is there a gem hidden in the pike of dreck that is usually the council ballot, or are there some good people? I don’t know, and the institutions I rely on to tell me don’t seem to either.

Same thing with McNamara. For years, the only Republicans I routinely voted for were whoever ran against McNamara and whoever ran against Conyers. But both frequently ran unopposed in the primary which is where those elections are truly decided.


I think Saunteel Jenkins, Matt Naimi, and Walter Cole deserve attention this year. Additionally, I actually don’t mind JoAnn Watson. Must be Stockholm Syndrome.


Jenkins, Naimi and Cole are good choices, especially Jenkins. Kenyatta has been reasonably competent and I would not swap him out as I’d be afraid of who might replace him. So thats five. Who are the other four?

Last I talked to Pugh, his heart was in the right place, but I felt he did not fully grasp the magnitude of what he would need to know from a policy perspective. Perhaps his stated plan of learning and absorbing from people has paid off and he is not a bad choice now.

Gary Brown is worth a look, just because he seems to have his head on his shoulders.

Other than that, no-0one really capable runs because they know the crap they’d have to put up with.


Too bad it is too late to change my name to Michael Jackson and file a petition.


Ansel mentioned Gary Brown, and I agree. How about John Bennett, too?


Oh, I forgot. GC, you are just wrong!


The Jerry Massey site is one of the scariest things I’ve seen relating to this election. Fortunately, there are some REALLY good people running for City Council: Saunteel Jenkins, Dalton Roberson, Matt Naimi are among my favorites. All 3 have good priorities and well organized professional campaigns. I am doorknocking, fundraising and hosting parties for Saunteel and Dalton. Might do more to help Matt. Amy, if you want to help Saunteel, google her name and email her through the website, they would love the help!


Oh, and what does being a disaffected cop have to do with being a decent City Council member? this qualification might be right up there with “has the last name of another politician” or “used to be a popular singer.”

An influx of engineers, and people who have had to work actual jobs in their lives, could be interesting.


Sorry GC, don’t agree. He got “jerri-o-fied”, so he was one of the original scapegoats under the Kwame. Last time I checked, being a cop was a real job. This guy actually did something (he got his degree) during the time he was on hiatus (aka forced pre retirement from the Department) and at least he didn’t just sit around and bitch; he stuck around the City and I believe he truly wants to give back. He seems to have a good grasp of the problems facing the City and certainly doesn’t lack anything in the intellect department. No offense, but was does someone who thinks it’s okay to take bribes, or considers her council seat as a mere “second” (translate unimportant) job, or who sings “Onward Christian Soldiers” badly at council meetings know about being an effective counsel person?

In theory I agree with your last point; however, are any of these such people running? If not, why not choose someone like this? Certainly a much better choice than several of those currently on the council.


Successfully suing the City of Detroit for millions is an odd qualification for City Council of said city.


GC, I do not think that John Bennett received millions from the City, only the back pay which the Michigan Dept of Labor ordered when he was illegally prevented from doing his job (the government agency’s ruling, not my words).

Again, my point is are there others out there who are running for council who are better?


from Jerry Massey’s biography: He…served as a Psychological Research Specialist (Sp6) in the U.S. Army for six years

translation: he took a fuckuva lot of acid

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