JOHN CONYERS SHOUTS OPA! WHEN TOXIC WELLS EXPLODE, BOB BOBB IS AWESOME, AND DIANE BUKOWSKI MISSES THE POINTBy
John Conyers just likes toxic waste wells
Way back in 2003, John Conyers wiped the drool from his aged chin and announced his opposition to deep injection wells. He also mumbled something about Jesus and our precious bodily fluids natural resources. Then flaming cheese kingpin Jim Pappas bought the wells and John Conyers decided that maybe he was wrong about this whole toxic well thing. Drilling miles into the ground to deposit toxic chemicals in a manner that is neither environmentally or economically-sound just made sense to John. It was an honest change of heart and had nothing to do with the giant piles of cash Pappas gave Sam Riddle and Monica Conyers. (Freep)
Dave Bing hires the Bobs from Office Space to save Detroit
Rather than laying-off the employees that the city can no longer afford to pay, Dave Bing is doing what corporate America loves to do when times are tight…hire an efficiency expert. And look how well that’s worked for corporate America. Once Bing gets rid of all the inefficiencies in city government everything will be ok. Also, he’s hanging a banner on the Coleman Young Building that reads: Is This Helping The City? You know, so people will ask themselves if what they are doing is really helping the city. (Freep)
When does Bob Bobb sleep?
We can’t say enough good things about Robert “Bob” Bobb. The guy is the class of Michigan politics. He’s starting summer school programs. He’s uncovering ghost employees. He’s trimming the fat and closing schools. If this were a Cake song, Bobb would wear a short skirt and a long jacket. Now he’s laying off one in five DPS employees in hopes of putting a dent in the district’s budget deficit. And even then, he’s like…I’ve barely started cleaning up this mess. Can he can take us with him when he’s elected Mayor of Oakland? Ron Dellums can run the Detroit Public Schools. Win-win. (DetNews)
Michigan Citizen thinks Monica Conyers might be innocent
P.J. O’Rourke once wrote about traveling some Russian river with aging American leftists during the Soviet Union’s dreary Brezhnev era. They pass a dam and one of the aging comrades begins extolling its revolutionary virtues. She’s yammering on about class conscious engineering or something and finally looks to O’Rourke and very earnestly says: “And where do they get the water? Amazing.” That’s all you need to know to understand Diane Bukowski and the Michigan Citizen. (Michigan Citizen)
Martha Reeves is a stupid old cow
My God, why didn’t she just become a deranged pill-popping recluse before dropping dead at age 50 like her fellow Motown artist Michael Jackson? Say what you will about Jackson but at least he recognized that he lacked the skill set necessary for municipal governance. Martha Reeves is too dumb to recognize the depths of her stupidity. Council is in session and, you know, dealing with stuff like the fucking budget. Meanwhile Reeves is in England singing the tired pop songs from a half century ago to graying, affected Brits. Oh well, Council is only her second job. (Freep)
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