DOESN’T WARREN EVANS ALREADY HAVE A JOB IN LAW ENFORCEMENT OR WHEN DOES OBAMA BRING BACK DONALD RUMSFELD?
Posted by Woodward's Friend in Big Important News
Last September when convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick announced he had accomplished all he set out to do as Detroit’s mayor (also he plead guilty to a bunch of felonies) and resigned, his third-rate political hack of a mall cop police chief, Ella Bully-Cummings, decided to retire as well. Probably just a giant coincidence.
That’s when Ken Cockrel named this guy James Barren as police chief and everyone, excepting maybe Ella Bully Cumming’s girlfriend Christine Beatty, was like: James Barren is so dreamy! Even Dave Bing was totally in love with Barren. Except that James Barren turned out to be the hugest jerk in the history of jerks and now Dave Bing never ever wants to talk to James Barren ever again.
Bing has a new police chief who is way better and totally not a jerk. Allegedly this new chief is Warren Evans, AKA the fourth Jonas Brother. How awesome is Warren Evans? Well the Detroit Free Press’ normally solid editorial board is totally in love with Warren Evans. Their bedrooms editorial offices are literally wallpapered with pictures of Evans from the law enforcement version of Tiger Beat.
Evans, of course, will leave his present job as the duly-elected sheriff of Wayne County but that’s cool because he was last re-elected like nine months ago so it’s time for a new challenge. Evans will hit this new job running on account of the fact that his ex-wife was…wait for it…Ella Bully-Cummings! Note to rank-and-file cops, get to know who the fuck are the members of Bing’s inner circle.
And even if this new gig doesn’t work out he’s set because Evans also owns this old bar in Corktown that runs a profitable after-hours. Or at least it did until his own sheriff’s deputies had to raid it. It’s just like that tv show Homicide when Detective Richard Belzer owns the bar across from the precinct. Well except that Belzer had a liquor license. Homicide was a really good show. So was The Wire. All cop shows should be set in Baltimore.
Naturally, Dave Bing has nothing to say about any of this because he’s a real world job creator so he doesn’t have time to answer to you slobs. His PR flack Karen Dumas is actually denying the whole shebang like she’s Ron Ziegler. But make no mistake Warren Evans is the operative police chief. (Freep)
Vote Now!
Entries (RSS)
Can you help me out? That Detroit Uncovered guy had a lenghty post about Chief Barren’s firing and all the political underpinnings that led to it. I take his blog with a mine full of salt grains because he reminds me of a combination of the crazy cat lady and Ralph Wiggum, but every once in a while he stumbles over truth. What’s your take on his ramblings? http://www.detroituncovered.com/
Not only is Mr Evans a totally awesome law enforcement expert, he also brings with him a political machine which can deliver votes. It’s like a twofer.
As far as that Detroit uncovered guy goes, some may take him with a grain of salt but I prefer fancy mustard. I guarantee you won’t go back.
So I keep looking and there is no description in any of the follow up articles of what will happen to the Sherriffs position. I s Evans resigning? Who takes his palce? How much of his term is left?
OMG WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE HINES PARK HORSE PIGS NOW?!?!