KWAME’S SEXY TEXT MACHINE WASN’T JUST FOR CHRISTINE BEATTY, THAD MCCOTTER IS ALSO GAY FOR POLICE, AND FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS STEAL SHWAG FROM THEIR KIDSBy
This personal relationship must have been really, really bad
We know that text messages prove convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick and sexy police monitor lady Sheryl Robinson Wood had an inappropriate “personal relationship.” We also know that they met outside of Detroit and sometimes at restaurants (Benz Chili Bowl?) but the specifics of the “personal relationship” remain unspoken. So this must have been some bad shit. Were they smoking crack during man-man-lady threesomes with barely legal runaway boys? Killing drifters for pay and sport? Sacrificing virgins with the People Against Goodness And Normalcy? Until authorities release the evidence, we have no option but to speculate wildly about what these two public officials were doing together. Your thoughts? (Freep)
So about all those new jobs…
You know how Jennifer Granholm likes to hold a press conference every time a new Subway creates 10 jobs? There was a study done a couple months ago and all those job creation numbers are just spoon bending illusions. About half those jobs are make-believe. Except in the case of the Google where roughly three quarters of their job creation projections are fiction. Google said 1000 jobs in Michigan by 2011. Right now they’re at 250 and they aren’t hiring. When asked about future jobs, the answer is no comment. In other news, our Gmail accounts won’t work today and all our searches will turn up pictures of barely legal man-man-lady threesomes with Kwame Kilpatrick. (annarbor.com)
Just when you thought something couldn’t get any stupider
Some cop in Massachusetts and Harvard professor Henry Gates had a dick measuring contest on Gates’ lawn. The cop lost so he arrested Gates. Then Barack Obama said the cop was being stupid which he probably was. The entire thing was stupid. And all this has what to do with Michigan? Congressman Thaddeus McCotter is angry that secret Muslim/Kenyan national/communist provocateur Barry Sorento would dare speak ill of our nation’s brave police officers. Maybe the “president” doesn’t know policemen were heroes on 9/11 because he spent that day celebrating in an al-Qaeda training camp before resuming his pre-senate career as trafficker of white slaves. Thank the Christ Jesus, Thad McCotter is going to straighten out this Obama/Sorento fellow. (Freep)
Michigan Democrats still unsure about economic law of scarcity
The Dems want Michigan to use more renewable energy. Wow, what a reasonable and smart policy. Alternative energy can help reduce our negative environmental impact while eliminating our dependence on foreign oil. It should be no problem paying for this costly, but important, conversion of our energy grid once we approve the Democrats plan to artificially lower utility costs by 20%. It’s not as though utility revenues would be reinvested to pay for the expansion of alternative energy production. Besides once you lower energy costs, people are more likely to conserve energy by lowering the thermostat or turning off lights. (Crains)
How much pot can you really buy for $5?
Be honest, that’s what you were all asking yourselves when you heard about the guy stomped to death over a $5 bag of pot. Then you wondered if it was decent or just stems and seeds. Shame on you. Don’t you care that a man died? A man who was trying to scam $5 worth a weed out of four bug-eyed Warren youths who were probably high on stronger drugs like meth or airplane glue. And just when you thought this story couldn’t get any more grotesque, the one kid was trying to sell the $5 bag of weed to his dad! Adults, come close, let’s talk. You’re adults now and, as such, don’t make your kids supply you with drugs. Get your own sources. And one more thing, $5 bags of shwag? You’re adults, have some self-respect. (DetNews)
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