Jul
31

MONICA’S NEW HOME OFFICE IS FANTASTIC, BRIDGING THE NINE MILE DIVIDE, AND THINGS YOU CAN’T BLAME ON THE GOVERNOR

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Monica Conyers thought resignation meant working from home
Even though she’s no longer on City Council because of her federal felony conviction, Monica still has important work to do for the citizens of Detroit. According to Monica, you don’t give up the title of Councilwoman when you give up the job. So she took some things with her to set up a home office. Mostly computers and printers so she can stay in touch with constituents, follow current events through on-line newspapers and blogs, and also take fun quizzes on the Facebook! Ken Cockrel, who does not care about the people like Monica, wants all that stuff back. Naturally, Monica says she didn’t take anything and she’s out of town anyway. Leaving the jurisdiction is totally appropriate for a felon awaiting sentencing.  Besides, who are we to not take a convicted felon’s word at face value? (Freep)

If we don’t rebuild the bridge then the terrorists will win
7/15…never forget! The car-tanker explosion that destroyed Oakland County’s landmark 9 Mile Bridge profoundly touched us all. Who will ever forget where they were when they heard the news? We will all fondly remember local businessman “Dean” sharing his first-hand account with every tv reporter he could find, including the gal from Telemundo. From the ashes, a new bridge shall arise. Our broke state is going to rebuild the marvel of civil engineering, only they will make it bigger, stronger, and more expensive. Also they’ll paint a cool racing stripe along the side to make it look sporty. (DetNews)

Sexy police monitor lady should not have eaten with Kwame Kilpatrick
Apparently, our federal government has nothing better to do with their time then investigate why sexy police monitor lady Sheryl Robinson Wood was having a personal (but not necessarily sexual) relationship with convicted felon and former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s just not the feds business to see if the Kilpatrick-Wood connection prolonged and corrupted the Detroit Police Department’s reform process. It’s a distraction, as they say over at the Michigan Citizen. We should respect their private lives. Perhaps they engaged in satanic blood orgies. But only to consecrate their bond at the altar of Anton LeVay. What’s so odd about that? I’m sure it had nothing to do with the Wood’s work at the police department. (Freep)

Let this be our Scopes trial
When John Scopes taught the evolution to simple mountain folk, the town of Dayton was ecstatic. Yes, Scopes angered a vengeful God with his “science” but trials are good for the economy! Daytonites believed reporters and tourists with wads of green money would fill the town’s hotels. Since Detroit shares both Dayton’s religiosity and economic development model, we too should have a big economy-growing trial. Sam Riddle’s going to be in court on September 21. That will be entertaining. Let’s build a grandstand and sell Better Mades and Faygo to spectators. Riddle could host a series of speaking engagements. Walking tours could show off the scandal’s various landmarks, such as Mr. Fish. It would be the biggest thing since the Super Bowl. (Freep)

Some things really aren’t Jennifer Granholm’s fault
No one is ever going to accuse Jennifer Granholm of being a good governor but you probably can’t blame her for pederasty. Unless you post in MLive comments section. Granholm was the first thing on local dullard SRVRon’s mind after reading about former G.P. South hockey coach Bob Bopp and his little cash-for-blow jobs scheme. Where oh where will Bopp get shower raped now that Granholm has closed a Muskegon prison? Maybe, and this is just thinking outside of the box here, in a cell once occupied by a non-violent drug offender who poses no danger to society?These prisons provide good jobs to uneducated rural folk. It’s important to keep pot growers locked up at a huge cost to the taxpayer when we can’t afford to salt the roads in wintertime. Support small government, keep unnecessary prisons open! (MLive)

Categories : State of the State

9 Comments

1

I <3 Better Mades. I would TOTALLY go to the trial if there were Better Mades.

2

Monica’s kids have a lot of homework from Cranbrook and need those laptops. I wonder who is driving them to school these days?

3

During my daily “media monitoring” I am asked to read the plethora of amazingly rude, ignorant, insanely angry and otherwise STUPID comments left by people on various newspapers. It makes my brain hurt.

4

This morning I was riding my bike to work this morning, I remembered how much the Detroit Lions suck, and I thought, “damnit Jennifer Granholm…” If it wasn’t for liberal Granholm the Lions would win the Superbowl.

5

Reasons to never make a 5-year plan: Jennifer Granholm, Randy Smith, Matt Millen….

6

Also, doesn’t Rochelle Riley on the topic of illiterate adults in Michigan merit some sort of Dyspathy After-School Special? This might be better than the time she was going on about hanging out naked.

7
Woodwards Friend
July 31st, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Actually, today was one of those rare moments when Rochelle Riley didn’t just emote some tear-stained nonsense.

8

while true, isn’t the reading level of Michigan residents somehow directly related to Rochelle Riley’s career as a newspaper columnist?

9
Woodwards Friend
July 31st, 2009 at 5:20 pm

+1

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