WHO WILL BE GRANHOLM’S JOHN DEAN, ADOLPH MONGO LIVES NEAR THE ELMWOOD CEMETERY, AND AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A STANDISH TOWN HALL PARTYBy
How long before tapes show Jennifer Granholm ranting to Haldeman about the Jews?
Oh sweet Jesus. Apparently no one with half a brain wanted famous political slug Art Blackwell running Highland Park. Which is to say, Jennifer Granholm doesn’t have half a brain because she was totally gay for Blackwell. Like any third-rate ward healer, Granholm takes care of her friends. Even if it puts an entire community in the hands of corrupt incompetent who can’t even make his car payments. In fairness, Blackwell worked for cheap. Or he did until he wanted a six-figure salary. That’s when, according to the tape, Granholm said something like: You could get $132,000. And you could get it in public funds. I know where it could be gotten. (WDIV)
Where’s the money Lebowski?
Police monitor is a good job to have if you’re (allegedly) boning the mayor. Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick’s personal lady friend Sheryl Robinson Wood spent all kind of public money on various “expenses.” What those expenses were and why they were necessary remains vague. However, they don’t include cameras for police cars or, you know, things that would bring the DPD in compliance with the federal consent degree. Probably she was spending the money on sexy lingerie and R. Kelly CDs to spice up her “relationship of a personal nature” with Kilpatrick. Sheryl Robinson Wood was probably having sex with convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick. We can’t repeat that enough, given the number of Google referrals Dyspathy gets from people searching for Sheryl Robinson Wood information. (Freep)
Local crazy lady tilts at windmills
Here’s a fun math problem for election guru Nate Silver. Let’s say Candidate X runs for mayor of Detroit. Candidate X spends less than $1000 on their campaign and doesn’t qualify for the general election. The incumbent receives 74% of the primary vote. What are the odds that Candidate X will emerge victorious as a write-in candidate in the general election? Actually let’s not bother Nate Silver with this one. He’s too busy with big boy/big girl politics to waste time with the petulant children seeking office in Detroit. Besides Dean Vernon Wormer already has the answer to our question: 0.0%. Despite her inability to ever win, the voices in Jerroll Sanders’ head (or “the community” as she calls them) want her to run as a write-in. Hey good luck with that. (DetNews)
Adolph Mongo is a man whore
Mongo is like the Dick Morris of Detroit politics. He’ll work for anyone as long as the check clears and he has all kinds of daffy theories about lynch mobs. That’s almost as ridiculous as Morris’ Condi vs Hillary predication for the 2008 presidential election. It’s unclear if Adolph enjoys whores sucking on his toes like Dick Morris but it wouldn’t surprise us. Mongo, of 1366 Island Street 48207, is quarterbacking a recall campaign of State Representative Rashida Tlaib. He wants to recall an elected official who doesn’t actually represent him purely out of genuine concern and not, not, not because Mr. Burns Matty Moroun gave him a dump truck full of money to do so. Unsolicited advice for Rep. Tlaib, run an ad claiming this recall campaign is the work of a racist white lynch mob that includes Matty Moroun, Dan Stamper, Mickey Blashfield, and Adolph Mongo. Good for the goose… (Crains)
Anyone can call a town hall meeting
Standish is like that small town in Hoosiers. When the barber and sheriff’s deputy decided they didn’t like the new basketball coach, they called a town meeting to get him fired. Same thing happened in Standish. The guy who owns the local feed store or something doesn’t want the A-rab Muslin turrurists imprisoned in Standish because they may escape, take the town hostage, and blow up Dow Chemical. At the very least, the Gitmo prisoners won’t mean fun prison guard jobs for the locals. It’s better, everyone agrees, if we just import other states’ Charlie Manson types and house them at Standish prison. It’s not as though Squeaky Fromme would try to get Manson released by shooting the president. Actually, the Standish town hall folks would greet Squeaky as a liberator if she did that. Squeaky Fromme just wants her America back too! (DetNews)
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