inFrequently Asked Questions
Q: Who the fuck are you?
A: Woodward’s Friend’s true identity is a closely guarded secret. Pseudonymed after the original Woodward’s Friend (later known as “Deep Throat” and even later discovered to be Mark Felt), Friend has no intention of revealing his true identity until old age, when senility and book deal-happy heirs convince him do so.
Q: Ok, but why the pseudonym?
A: Pseudonyms have a long and storied place in public discourse. Samuel Clemens and Eric Blair wrote under the names Mark Twain and George Orwell, respectively. Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay published a series of essays in support of ratifying the Constitution under the collective pseudonym Publius. Those essays are now known as The Federalist Papers. The New Republic‘s vaunted TRB column (currently penned by Jonathan Chait) was initially published without attributing the actual writer. One of the first influential bloggers, Atrios, wrote anonymously for nearly three years before revealing his actual identity. And, of course, there’s Irwin Fletcher. He writes a newspaper column under the name Jane Doe.
Q: I think you are a giant asshole. How do I give you a piece of my mind?
A: Submit all correspondence to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will compile the best comments and publish them in our weekly “Love Letters” column. Dandies eh?…ok, we aren’t doing that. Dyspathy can’t afford the lapel pins.
Q. You’ve bounced between blogs like a groupie bounces between NBA power forwards. What’s the deal? Whore.
A. We started this adventure with a plucky little Blogger site called Detroitist. Earlier this year, Anthony Morrow called us up to see if we wanted to move our operation to Detour. We did. Then Detour decided to get out of the “daily blogging game.” We didn’t want to go back to Blogger and, since the evil overlords at Gothamist own every city+”ist” domain name in the western world, we needed a new name. Thus Dyspathy. Our shtick is still the same and the Woodward’s Friend brand remains constant.
Q: Why do you hate Detroit?
A: Because we hate freedom. We are working in common cause with the terrorists to destroy Detroit’s beloved and upright government and civic institutions so that it’s easier for Osama Bin Laden to steal Detroit’s precious jewels. I mean really? If you have to ask then obviously you aren’t paying attention.
Q: But the Book-Cadillac opened and the city’s unused land will be great for urban farming which can feed our city’s disadvantaged citizens. Isn’t that good?
A: Fuck you. Seriously, just…fuck you. If you are comfortable with a city government pulling off one significant downtown development deal per decade then Detroit is your oyster. We have higher standards. And as for the urban manor farms, our ancestors came here from God forsaken rural places like Alabama, Appalachia, and dusty little towns in the old country. They did that for a reason. Rural life sucks. Go take a drive through Small Town USA. Nothing but a lot of cousin love, unemployment, and meth. Making this place more like the Palin family will not improve Detroit.
Q: I heard a rumor you were a member of the Kilpatrick Administration.
A. Yes that’s true but we prefer the term Team Kilpatrick because that’s what it says on the back of our letter jackets. My real name is Anthony Adams and I do all my blogging from 20,000 feet in Tony Soave’s jet. Matt Allen and Sharon McPhail also contribute sometimes. Not really.
Q: How can I get in on the free ad?
A: If you’re willing to engage in a little cross-promotion, send us an email (email@example.com). If we like you, we’ll add you to the free ad rotation. If we don’t like you, we’ll sign you up for Peter Werbe’s email list.