By the time you read this, you’ve probably read Jack Lessenberry’s primary post-mortem in the Metro Times. Because they published it yesterday. It only took Lessenberry eight days to fire up his 1989 Tandy Word Processor, take cheap shots at Tim Skubick (for offering the same inside baseball commentary that keeps Lessenberry in rumpled suits), and publish his thoughts on the primary. That’s... Read more→

Rocky Raczkowski doesn’t trust the fluoride either When someone says they believe Barack Obama is an American citizen but… chances are the part after the but is all about how said person doesn’t really believe Obama is an American citizen. Take Rocky Raczkowski. He claims he was just joking around when said he wanted to see Obama’s birth certificate. Except he wasn’t. Incidentally, Raczkowski’s... Read more→

Pistols at dawn, white pants after Memorial Day In more civilized times, one understood that ungentlemanly behavior would result in a duel. Ten paces and all of that. Activist judges and liberal know-it-all politicians did away with this noble tradition years ago, but there’s a movement afoot to decriminalize these gentile mores of a simpler time. Lansing may revoke laws against dueling. And... Read more→

City Council takes the Dyspathy line Remember how Dyspathy called out convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick for his complicity in Aiyana Jones’ death? City Council agrees. Are they readers? Anyway, Kwame Kenyatta wants Bill Goodman to write a letter to Groner explaining how Kilpatrick fucked up the federal monitoring process by (allegedly) fucking the federal monitor. Go City Council. Of course,... Read more→

Canada is your new Frank Burns Corporal Maxwell Klinger just wanted to serve America. And wear a pretty dress. Same with fellow Lebanese-American C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun. He’d also like a new bridge to go with the pretty dress. The problem is Canada – with help from their Manchurian Candidate Jennifer Granholm and her American operator Brooks Patterson - is trying to thwart Moroun’s... Read more→

Worst entrepreneur ever Terrible restaurateur Frank Taylor has failed, again. First Seldom Profitable Blues was shuttered, and now the Breakfast House and Detroit Fish Company are closing. That Harmonie Park/Paradise Valley project is really going like gangbusters. Great work, Downtown Development Authority. The economic impact of all the bankruptcy lawyers winding down Taylor’s operations... Read more→

Don’t ask them about their business Occasionally people compare metro Detroit’s kleptocracy to The Godfather. Ed McNamara was supposedly Vito; Bernard “The Killer” Kilpatrick is Luca Brasi, etc. In truth, that’s being generous. There isn’t a Michael, or a Tom Hagen, or a Don Bratzini in the bunch. A guy like Tessio would’ve kept the streetlights on while playing the angles. Our political... Read more→

DeDan “The Bull” Milton takes a plea Beloved deadbeat dad DeDan Milton still owes $17,000 in back child support but he can’t pay because no one gives him bribes anymore. We don’t have to say allegedly anymore because DeDan pled guilty today. Oh and that whole thing about how DeDan Milton would never say anything about convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick? Yeah, he was misquoted. Allegedly. All... Read more→

“Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses.” - H.L. Mencken My fellow Americans, I stand before you tonight, in this magnificent chamber, for my first State of the Union address. I could tell you a tale about how my life validates the American dream and that, despite our current challenges, the state of the union is strong. Well, I’m not going to waste your time or mine with any... Read more→

Monica Conyers is Monica Conyers crazy The Sam Riddle trial is like the Super Bowl plus Seinfeld’s 5th season plus All The President’s Men. Day one was that good. According to the tapes, Riddle said Monica (don’t call her Monica) was crazy “beyond medication” and barely capable of fulfilling the terms of her dirty deals. And Argh! Sam and Monica were “political pirates.” Awesome. Ken... Read more→