Socialist federal government hurts Frank Beckmann’s feelings The Great Voice of Great Lakes Pollution, Frank Beckmann, will not like reading about this. Assuming he possesses the cognitive capacity to read. The government won’t let the God-fearing, patriotic job creators at Enbridge Oil re-open their beloved oil pipeline. Even though said pipeline generously donated oil to the rivers and streams... Read more→

DPS to stay awful After listening to hundreds of unemployables shouting dull platitudes, City Council decided to protect your right to vote by deciding you shouldn’t vote on an advisory question about re-organizing DPS. That means Reverend David Murray and his merry band of incompetents continue to play school board. But it also means the state will just hire another emergency financial manager... Read more→

“Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses.” - H.L. Mencken Preliminary reports say City Council experienced some prodigious hyperbole today. People with no better way to spend a Tuesday crowded the 13th floor to gnash teeth over an ADVISORY ballot question about DPS governance. Asking people their opinion will violate the will of the people. Something about slavery. If we don’t do this,... Read more→

Warren Evans is a gentle and considerate lover What? You know it’s true. That’s why he was having sexy time with an age inappropriate police lady. When he wasn’t trying out for reality shows. Something in there explains why Evans was fired yesterday. There was no official explanation from Team Bing because it’s a secret. Evans is now free to combine his interests in sexy time and reality tv... Read more→

If there was another guy holding an “AN” sign, they could be the card section in a Caddyshack remake. NO-NO-NO-ON-AN! (Hot Fudge Detroit) SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Everyone should send money and other fine things to Hot Fudge Detroit for this precious jewel of a screenshot", url: "http://dyspathy.com/?p=3631" }); Read More →

Even when the actual City Council is sane… Professional malcontents in the gallery make sure the 13th floor is a dump truck of crazy. Some angry lady had a stack full of petitions, so she thought she should speak first during public comment time. She was wrong, and learned that she was wrong the hard way. Then Gary Brown insulted convicted child abuser the Rev. Reverend David Murray by calling him... Read more→

Mayoral control sent back to the glue factory Bob Berg’s secret group to put mayoral control of DPS back on the ballot emerged from their secret bunker this week to talk with City Council. And fail. While no sane person supports the status quo, suggesting mayoral control as an alternative (without any alterations to an idea overwhelmingly rejected by voters just six years ago) is a little like trying... Read more→

Guy with Mullet not super-criminal genius Turns out sludgeSCAM wasn’t Guy with Mullet James “JR” Rosendall’s idea. We all wanted to believe legitimate business Synagro was innocent. If we can’t trust sludge haulers to be upstanding, what hope is there for this world? But, according the Freep, Rosendall was just an errand boy. The real masterminds were senior Synagro execs like Pam Racey.... Read more→

Uncut grass is a precious jewel Facing the city’s greatest crisis ever, City Council and Mayor Bing reached a budget compromise to ensure 70 parks would remain open. Thank the Christ Jesus because, if they closed Palmer Park…well the closet cases can only go to Temple Bar so many nights a week. Also, can you imagine if someone didn’t maintain all that uncut grass? Talk about embarrassing. Still,... Read more→

Reality-based City Council ruins everything Dave Bing had a perfect plan to fix the budget. Hire accounting fabulist Norman White to pretend to balance the books. Thanks to White’s number crunching, Detroit had a fictional balanced budget. He did the same thing for the Kilpatrick Administration. Unfortunately, the City Council do-gooders are way too hung up on this “reality” thing to go along... Read more→